Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 18 June 2018

BARF


Gawdammit. The birds got BW again.
Get your .22's out everyone! 

Turdo La Doo




The liberal rag sheets up here are all in a flather about 'how Trump is bullying' our fwench faggot of a prime minister. Turdo is strutting around proclaiming how 'Canada won't be pushed around' and our cuck conservatives are lining up behind him to sing the same tune. We are being told to 'buy Canadian to stick it to Trump' and the guy on the street just rolls his eyes.

As an Albertan I have more in common with Americans than I do with those liberal fart suckers out east. Those a-holes consistently elect corrupt and incompetent politicians. They are so damned stupid they will sell their votes to politicians who will pay them off with their own money.

I think Turdo has realized that most of the world and his own countrymen think (correctly) that he is a pussy - so he's trying to flex a little muscle to impress his fellow stupid kids. It's not working of course, and liberals are getting turfed up here in election after election. The only problem is though, we have no real conservatives to oppose them. Most of our conservative politicos are cucks and punching bags for the leftist mass media. I suppose anything's better than Turdo but the alternatives aren't that great either.


Sammich Artiste




More Retard Rocketeers


Harold Is On VERY Thin Ice

When you are a gun club duffer like I am, and hang around elderly sportsmen, bullchitters and liars a lot - you develop a tolerance for mental retardation and ropey mouths. You accept the fact that most of them are old and stupid, and that you are going the same way. But when I saw this one - let's just say fuggin Harold is darn lucky I wasn't within frowning distance, or he would have caught the very hell of it!!!


Sigh.
Looks like we got another student in need of special education
that only men like Uncle Bob
and Yours Truly can provide.


You can bet I'll be keeping a very sharp eye on that trouble maker - and the rest of you had better mind your P's n' Q's too! It's Monday, I'm sunburnt and crabby, and in no mood to be trifled with!

Try and have a good day. ;)

Sunday, 17 June 2018

A Fine Father's Day Weekend

Our Father's Day weekend got off to a rough start. The second I got home from work on Friday the rain and hail started. On Saturday we got up with the birds and loaded up the camper for the first weekend out of the year. Everything worked.


Summer is definitely here; it was hotter n' blazes but fortunately my mobile palace has air conditioning. Until the little Honda ran out a gas. I figured one tank should be good for a weekend but I was wrong. Plus - I'd run it earlier in the year for a couple hours so it probly only had half a tank.

The wild roses are out everywhere. I am not a man given to floral appreciation - but I love these. They are like all wildflowers in Alberta - ya gotta appreciate them fast because they are only around for a week or two and then they're gone.



The camp guards were deployed. I am brutally harsh with my dawgz on camp trips: even in sweltering heat they are expected to defend the camp against squirrels, cats, gun club morons and other wildlife.


The trailer appeals to both our inner children. For me it is the fort I always wanted as a child; for the wife it is her playhouse. She hasn't changed in all the years I've known her - in 15 minutes the camp is up, the beds are made, and she is pondering what to make for supper.



What a feast. The beans were stock, but she put bacon, red peppers and some other secret ingredients in them - and life was never so good. She grilled some Ass Par Agus and spuds over the fire like a champ.


After supper I brutally beat Macey and forced her to clean all the dishes. There is no slacking off or sympathy for dawgs in camp! HAR HAR HAR! The poor girl is getting old. She hates it, but sometimes I have to lift her in and out of the truck when she stiffens up. She likes shorter walks now too. She is one special little pot licker.

Flapz and M dropped in later that night, it seems I forgot my booze at home - and they had saved the day. They brought their nieces and I was in my glory! I drank half a quart of Auchentoshan and spent the night teasing the toddlers and talking to their teddy bears. They were enthralled with the dogs and walked them around - delighted that these monsters were happy to follow them.

I finally managed to get some serious range time in with The Retirement Rifle and my trusty cap n' ball pistol. It was awesome - I literally blew half the day on the range shooting and squaring away my favourite guns.


Afterwards I spent the afternoon on the tailgate of my truck cleaning my gats. Life doesn't get any better than that for a gun club stubfart; a big cup of coffee and some dirty guns.



Hope your Father's Day went well too.

Friday, 15 June 2018

Owning The Insult: A Musical Retort


Back in the last election, a dumpy old harridan in a muumuu was running for election to the office of the President of The United States. The lickspittles in the media were definitely in the bag With Her and had forcecast an election victory probability northward of 90%. Her political opponent was some old orange skinned fat white guy - and everyone hates old white guys, right?

But then the gaffs started. While the press took no notice, the disrespectful simians on the internet roared with derisive laughter. Her best was one in which she accused half the country of being a 'basket of deplorable racists and homophobes'. Wanks from one end of the internet to the other proudly proclaimed "We Are All Deplorables Now". Pepe The Frog became the detested and unwanted mascot of the Democrat bid for the presidency.



The really nasty (and funny) ones have now been purged and scrubbed from the internet.
Can't have any hateful statements about women from
the peasants now...

Liberal heads exploded across the nation like popcorn. The response from the internet was apologetic, and the wanks proclaimed "We Are All Racists Now". HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!

A new form of political warfare came arose that destroyed the  political cartoonists and media slobs who had previously used ridicule with devastating effect. Suddenly their political enemies turned the tables on them with something commonly referred to by Dirt People as the 'meme'.

One of the best guys at owning stupid insults thrown out by stupid people is the Z Man. His fans follow him on spreaker, oy-Tube and other venues. Some use Hitler phones, others are Android commies. The man has thoroughly RUINED music for me - whenever I hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' I start cackling like a loon, thinking of his scholarly lectures on "Xirl Science" where the lead in to the lecture about transgendered, poly-amourous, multi-spritied - is the quirky tune from Cindi Lauper. (That song sucked back in the 80's too, BTW).

But his trademark retort to the inevitable accusations of racism and fascism from the usual morons was the concluding music of his podcasts. Now I go around work singing this merry tune to the utter rage of the office feminist. I can't help laughing when I hear this tune now too.



Put on your Hitler Youth uniforms everyone! And sing along!
HAR HAR HAR!!!
Errr… I ever so dearly hope that no snowflakes were
triggered by this display of contempt and humour....!!!!

Tomorrow is Saturday - and it does indeed belong to you. May you own the months and years ahead as well. Have a good weekend.