Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 24 February 2018

When They Were Queens

When I was a kid, I think women could still sew clothes at home for cheaper than they could buy them. I shudder at some of the shit my mom made me wear. She thought she was a good sewer and she tried, I guess. She put a lot of effort into it. I was too young at the time to see that or appreciate it. I hated the clothes the women in my family made for me and now as an adult looking back - I feel ashamed and sorry for them. But gawd, I'm glad I don't have to put up with that anymore, HAR HAR HAR!

Today my wife is an outhouse seamstress and if I recall, she said it's almost impossible now for the home seamstress to make clothes cheaper than they can be bought at the store. But she does it for fun. As a man wisely keeping his mouth shut and looking on at all this - I have to admit that I am just fascinated by the machine. The new ones are all microprocessor based now - women can download a patter off the internet and the machine will embroider crests and logos as good as the ones you get from the pros. About the only reason to sew now is if you want to make something truly unique. My wife can make some seriously cool stuff. When I get working again, I am going to ask her to make me one of these:

It's called a 'capote' and it is all the 
rage amongst the contemporary black powder geeks
and the fur traders of yesteryear.
One of my arch enemies at the Edmonton House Brigade
wore one with antique coins for buttons.
They're made from Hudson's Bay Blankets.

We have one of these as a curio downstairs - it was the machine my wife learned to sew on.

All ours needs is a leather fly wheel belt
and it could go
right back to work today.

I thought this thing was a valuable antique and we did some research on the old singer - only to learn that they are a dime a dozen and some folks can't give them away. Whatever - I still like ours.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Come with me, my friends, back to my childhood...
Bring your guns.

An Interesting Conversation At The A-House


It's one of those things in life every man dreads - and then once ya go through it, ya sit back and think, "Huh. I was all bent out of shape over that???" because it wasn't the big deal you thought it was.

I was just devastated when I had to face the inevitable back in my early 40's - shave it, or do the bad comb-over thing. I got the Bic out and went to work. After two days I was over it, and have never looked back. The wife will still love you, your friends will all be a-holes about it - but as long as there's a good rude joke in it for everyone... who cares...? 

Sometimes in the summer I just shave it right down to the wood and life couldn't be better. No sweaty, tangled hair! When ya work up a sweat, ya give your forehead a wipe with an old hat or a rag - and back to work you go! Get out of the shower, give your head a shake - and get on with your day! No barbers is nice too.

I remember 100 years ago I had hacked The Crack's computer because I needed to know what he was screwing up and how he was ticking off my customers. I got all his other computer info too; and one of the more amusing ones was his Plenty Of Fish account. I thank God Almighty for my wife and marriage, because I would HATE to be in the dating game at this stage of my life. In any event - one of the conversations The Crack had going there was with a smoking hot cougar who looked 15 years younger than she was - and her rule was "No bald old farts". You should have seen the chit storm of protest from the fellas - all whining at her because she did not like bald men! HAR HAR HAR!!! It was pathetic! (Needless to say, so was The Crack's participation in that discussion - he was as bald as I am). I guess pickin's are slim in the internet dating game at our age. 

It's one of life's chit burgers, boys: sooner or later, a lot of us get to that stage in life where you can do the bad comb over, or buzz it. I chose to buzz it. For me it wasn't even a choice. I suppose a rug might have been an option, but that's just not me.

All hope is not lost, however. Me and the guys got together and we decided that if BW Bandy dies in a horrible motorcycle accident - I gut his scalp, Jack gets his liver, and all his other remaining organs will be parted out to those who have use for them.

Friday, 23 February 2018


I guess they don't get along well with domesticated airplanes....

Blessed St. John Moses, Take Me Now...

If I don't go to hell when I die, I hope my spirit settles in a place like this:

Can you imagine the bed wetting, wailing and sobbing that would happen here in Canada or the US if somebody opened a range like that...?

Even The Z Man Is Saying It...

Everywhere our Prime Minister goes, he embarrasses us. Even the Z Man said Justin Turdo is an idiot on his blog today. Hell, even Canadian liberals are saying he's an idiot.

Ya'd wonder how a fella can embarrass his nation in a shithole country, but ol' Turdo La Doo managed it:

Why, he amost looks like a pakie himself!
I think his son is cluing into the fact that his dad is a moron too.

Nobody knows what he's doing there, really. He poses for photo ops dressed up like a swami or a rag head and even the brown fellas are scratching their heads wondering what is up with this guy. You'd never see that syphallitic whoreson do that for Christian Canadians back at home, that's for sure.

I may be asking too much but I would like to think that at some point, the ethnics and vibrants would get sick of being patronized by a dufus like this.

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Eeeew!!! What Kinda CREEP Does Something Like That?

What kind a sick degenerate does a meme like this?
It's enough to ruin guns AND sex!
Who knows in this age of sexually disturbed
degenerates, HAR HAR HAR!!!

For those of you who aren't familiar with this YouTubing gun slinging Texan - he's Hickock 45, and one of my personal favourite gunnies.

Get out your visa cards and tensor bandages boys.