Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 15 October 2015

A Prayer To The Patron Saint Of All Fathers With Daughters

Five years ago, right after the Christmas holidays I was actually relieved to get back to work. My 20-something daughter had come in for the holidays and relations between us had always been strained. We spent a lot of the holidays with the in-laws who figured they would spend their retirement years trying to harass the hell out of me for entertainment. An hour or two with them often left me seriously considering opening my wrists - and I had spent days with them.

So back to work! The visiting was done, the kid had gone home, and life was returning to normal! First day of the year...I came in an hour early as is my custom to start the coffee pot, rifle The Crack's desk for things he was effing up that I would need to fix, going through my emails both work and domestic, emptying the office garbages and generally setting up for the day. Once all my chores were done I sat down with a coffee to go through the email. I burned through the work related ones, and then went to my own gmail account and noticed one from my daughter. I casually opened it, expecting the usual "I forgot my gloves at your house..." or "Can you spot me a loan for ...." or the usual stuff kids ask of their parents.

Instead, I learned my daughter was gay and was coming out of the closet. There's no nice way to say it: my day - my week - was f****d.

It was a long rambling e-mail about how horrible her life at home had been living with an abusive homophobe. She waxed melodramatic about how I couldn't be trusted with knowing about her super seekrit sexuality (because homophobia) and how awful I was (because sexism) and how I would have to swim shark-infested waters and cross lakes of lava to regain her trust. If I was worthy and able to be given a place in her newly defined family unit - it would be in the closet she had just come out of. She and her creepy girlfriend would tell me what I could say, they would tell me what jokes were funny and which weren't, they would tell me what I could and couldn't think. Today we call these idiots 'social justice warriors'  - essentially bullies that use rabid political correctness to police the thoughts and speech of people they disagree with. She went on to announce her informal betrothal to a homely girl she had known for some time and basically told me that I could fit in with her new family - or **** off!

After reading it I turned grey - I was so angry and hurt I couldn't speak. Sure, I had suspected she was queer, but everyone always denied it and I didn't think she had it in her to be this abusive skank she obviously was. We had the fights that all parents had with their kids...where did this bile, this vitriol - come from?  What in hell was going on here? I tried to walk away and not respond over the computer. I tried...but couldn't do it. I sent back an angry note, told her I was pretty damned disgusted with her and the way she had chosen to deal with this, and told her to take her threats and FOAD. That was that for that. I haven't heard back from her for years other than another angry email exchange last year when we tried to patch things up (it degenerated into email insults), and she tried to go around me to suck up to her mother last week (who, thank God, understands what the little turd is doing and how she's trying to manipulate her). Most of my efforts at contact were met with stubborn silence and I didn't know whether she was alive or dead for most of that time.

For me - I can hold my nose about homosexuality - but it's her personality I will not abide. She's a shrew, she's 30 years old and acts like a 17 year old brat, and I seem to be the only one in the family that knows she's better than that. But they're all afraid of being seen as 'picking on queers'. Craven bastards. They bobble their heads in condescension as my daughter describes her part time job in a bicycle shop, her refusal to get a car or even learn how to drive, or a full time job... or her living arrangements with 8 other weirdos in a slum house in downtown east side Hongcouver. My in-laws tried to give me chit for not bowing down to her and were appalled when I told it like it was: my daughter was a lazy, good for nothing gay hipster with no goals or options or prospects. They almost had a fit of vapours over it...but somebody had to tell the truth. They insist on coddling her and condescending to her but I won't do it. I refuse. Kids have to grow up sometime; they have to be able to care for themselves. They need to be mobile and have a license to get good jobs at a minimum. A meaningful degree is a must, a flinky liberal arts degree like hers is a red flag for most employers today. Most kids want a full time job to get the things they want. GAH! We have no common ground. I have since learned about social justice warriors and the way they operate, and that lesbian man haters with Daddy Complexes are actually quite common. Apparently faggots tend to be boisterous and outgoing - whereas lesbians tend to be mean and sullen.

Today I was farting along in traffic when an RCMP officer crept up behind me, hit the lights and scared the chit out of me with the siren. I pulled over but he went around me and blazed ahead, and I figured he must have been late for a donut or maybe there was an accident or something.

A half mile up the road he pulled into a parking lot beside a convenience store - where several squad cars and his fellow officers had taken some teens down. There were bicycles and back packs strewn about, and a couple kids were being arrested - probably drugs but who knows. One of the kids was a beautiful young girl with her arms cuffed behind her back and I caught her eye as I passed. All I could think was that tonight, after work...some poor father, who only wanted to work and get ahead and provide a home for his family ... was going to get the shocking news that his daughter was in trouble with the law, and that he had some very, very serious problems on his plate now that would put all the others to shame. If you're that father, I said a silent prayer for you. I hope that this was just a minor brush with the law, and that your daughter will see the error of her ways and shape up to be the beautiful woman she's supposed to be.

Or maybe she was just a feral young woman like my daughter, confident there would always be a second chance, raised by adults that worried more about her self esteem than her education or work ethics. There are any number of experts on child psychology and counselling but most of them are disturbed finks themselves and are full of beans and trying to sell them to marks that are too stupid to think for themselves. Screw them.

If I were to seek outside help to reconcile with my daughter or help out that girl today getting busted outside the convenience store - I seriously think that Red Green would be the best guy for the job!

If ya can't fix it with duct tape - it probably can't be fixed! Keep yer stick on the ice, boys, 'cause we're all in this together.

Hold your daughters close, men. There are evil forces acting on them today, and all may not be as good as you think it is. God bless.


  1. I started reading Uncle Bob's Treehouse through your site. Is he becoming a bit of an influence? I like what you wrote and the way it was written. I have no children (long story) but I get what you are saying. In relationships you may not agree or accept some things however you may be able to tolerate them. The betrayal and backstabbing is something else entirely.

    I agree with you on people not growing up. I have a friend who is frustrated over his twenty-five year old daughter who lives on her own and refuses to work more than part-time and has no desire to get her driver's license.

    I hope one day things work out.

  2. I like Uncle Bob and have shrieked and flung dung with all the other howler monkeys at the Treehouse and Bob presides over the mayhem with an unshakeable sense of humour. I like to think of him as a bad influence and will blame all my woes on him when I finally get busted by the cops too!

    What I found so tough about this was the 'abruptness' of it. One minute, we were a strained but rock solid extended family. My in laws treated me like crap but I tolerated it because I love my wife and respect my elders - and occasionally they did nice things for us too. My daughter had few problems in life - she HAD to get good marks at school, she HAD to keep her nose clean and mind her manners and that's pretty much it. When she flipped out with this lesbian man/father hating BS the family tore itself apart overnight. I always took my family for granted, as something as solid as a house or a stone...but it just turned into vapour with a few angry exchanges and disappeared as if it was never there.

    When I was a kid just starting to date my wife, my future father in law took me aside, offered me a beer - and then told me not to get too attached to my girlfriend because she was going to go to university and marry a REAL man - a professional! There are times, BW, when I wish I had just handed him his beer back, walked away and none of this would have happened. I dearly love my wife...but this crap with her family...? Sometimes I envy you and your expeditions. Reading your blog lets me get away from myself and my idiotic problems and think about meaningful stuff instead. It brings a sense of calm. You may not know it - but you influence people too...some you have never even met! :)