Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Ruthlessly Stolen From The Daily Time Waster

 
Why did the chicken cross the road? To kick Filthie's ass!
 

Growing up, my parents were much like I am today. They weren't wealthy but they were free. They were also very lucky, and damned hard workers. When they decided to Move Out To The Country they had to do it on a shoe string. Pop, my brother and I built the family's first house. Contractors poured the footings and basement and framed the house...and we did the rest. At the time I was a little older than this young martial artist here. Every day after school we loaded up the truck - headed out to The House and went to work. I wasn't old enough to be much more than a spare set of hands but even doing that made me worth my weight. Weekends were spent out there too. A year later we had an 1800 sq. ft. home for Mom, and were hard at work on a separate 3 car garage for Pop. 2 years later it was time for us kids - Pop built a small barn shaped shed for us to raise hobby chickens in.
 
Chickens have a reputation for cowardice that one has to be very, very careful with. That kid in the GIF is not a coward or craven - that is a rooster putting the run on him and you threaten or disrespect them at your peril. I raised bantams - basically colourful miniature birds that are more ornamental than anything else. The hens were docile and added a touch of hominess and charm to our hobby acreage as they clucked and scratched... and visitors often delighted in how friendly they were and how they could pick them up and pet them.
 
Our banty rooster was another story. His place on the farm was as its owner and absolute ruler; and he made sure everyone knew it. Anything under 1200 pounds was fair game for a fight and even the horses minded their manners around him. Bantam roosters have needle sharp spurs on their legs and they use them to fight. It's not so bad if they sink them into you and pull them straight out - but it's murder when they use them to rip! Ours usually went after Pop and the dog but he would go after us kids too if he was having a bad day. One day a weasel got into the coop and that was the end of him. I guess the moral of the story is that no matter how tough you think you are...there's always somebody tougher and meaner.
 
I put an end to the weasel a couple days later with a borrowed leg trap...so we didn't lose any hens. To this day the kid in me likes to think that was due to that rooster's courage and valour. That little bastid - facing a weasel...would literally be equivalent to Tarzan facing the sabre toothed lion with his flint knife.
 
 
 
How many of us would have the courage of a mere chicken?

3 comments:

  1. My farming relatives had Bantams. I liked seeing them around. As for the rooster, he stood up for what he believed in, looking after his own. Sometimes taking a stand does not end well.

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  2. I knew a woman who was terrified of roosters as a little girl. Every time she left the house she had to look around since otherwise they'd jump on her back.

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  3. I knew a woman who was terrified of roosters as a little girl. Every time she left the house she had to look around since otherwise they'd jump on her back.

    ReplyDelete