Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 7 December 2015

Hang-over Monday

What's the matter, Mort...? Feelin' a little GREEN around the gizzard?

You may ask yourself - why is Glen Filthie's dog chitting through the eye of a needle at 50 paces? Why does he smell like a dead urinal...?

Well, let me explain about that. When you are a nobleman of wealth and means like the Great And Powerful Glen Filthie - you make enemies. Enemies that envy your status and wealth! Assassination is a constant threat; which is why my fearless K9 cohort, Mor'dhu (or Mort for short) - tastes all my food and drink first! This infuriates The Lady but I strongly suspect she may trying to kill me as well.

A couple weeks back I bought some small taster samples of: this shit a bad cologne, maybe...?
The word 'unremarkable' comes to mind.

Thankfully I only bought small taster size bottles of about 6 oz. each. I was so enraged by the quality of this spirit I poured it all into Mort's bowl and let him have the lot of it! And of course, like your typical frenchman, he guzzled it all at a draught and I bade the spirit good riddance.

All was well or so I thought. I was savouring some of the good stuff when Mort cut a fart that hit 9.9 on the rectum scale ... and then he passed out for the entire weekend! That dog fart totally RUINED my dram, and is typical of this K9's inconsiderate behaviour. It's a scientific fact that frenchmen can't handle their booze even though entire orchards of fermented grapes go down their gullets every day - and Mort is sadly no exception. He should be ashamed of himself for his drunk and disorderly conduct!!!

I give Diurach's Own a 2 out of 10, and Superstition a 5 out of 10. Mort, however, gives them both solid 10's and would no doubt drink them again.

Disclaimer: For the Usual Suspects (ie the pissers, moaners and bedwetters) the standard weasel words apply- No animals were harmed in this whisky evaluation; and the expression on Mort's face is the product of his intellect and not intoxication.

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