Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 26 March 2016

I Can Be Tempted - But I Will Not Be Gulled

Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. I'm a goddamn fool - but not as dumb as I look! HAR HAR HAR!

Today my mission was simple and straightforward: a trip to Ye Olde Gun Shoppe for some supplies, an ever so pleasant stop at the BBQ shop for some hickory wood pellets, and then home for beer and BBQ ham! What could possibly go wrong?

Welp...the dealership for Indian Motorcycles is right beside the BBQ shop! And of course as soon as I pulled into the BBQ shop parking lot - I figured I would just dip in to the dealership to see what the 2016's were like. Next thing I know, I'm wheeling and dealing on this:

That, boys and girls, is what metal perfection looks like.
So I tell the salesman look - let's cut the shit. My 'old' bike is a 2014 Kawi 1700cc touring bike with 6700 km on it - in other words - damn near new. They had a 2015 Chieftain for $28,100. I don't care about sticker prices - all that matters to me is what I gotta shell out of my wallet to get the bike out the door - and I explained that bluntly to the sales guy and his manager. I figured my bike + $13K was a square deal. (Yeah, I know, I was taking it in the hooper - but this is an Indian fer gawdsakes! Ego does not come cheap). We agreed, and I brought my bike in and figured the inspection would be a formality. But - oh no! Why, my new machine has cupped tires!!!! Oh, here we go, I thought to myself. Okay, you f-nozzles, I said - what will it take to get the bike out the door? I've told ya once, cut the shit. I won't tell you again.

"Why, Mr. Filthie - how RUDE!!! No need to be tetchy, how about ...your bike and $17K?"

I started laughing. "Why don't YOU go copulate with a duck?" I asked the sales manager. Things went downhill from there. The sales manager got one hand on the scruff of my neck, the other on the back of my belt - and I got the bum's rush out the door! My bike was pushed out and parked beside me. At the last second the buggers cranked the prices up and figured I could be led like a lamb to the slaughter.

I wonder how many men would have gone along with them? I look at all these dummies racking up debt and credit cards - they finance these damn things for 72 months now. Hell's bells, what kind of idiot goes into hock for 6 years...for a motorcycle? Fuck you, Cycle Works! HAR HAR HAR!

I would love to have an Indian motorcycle...but I don't like the local distributor and won't deal with them. I wanna throw this out there and if any of you have two cents to share - I would sincerely appreciate it! See if this makes sense to ya:

I want this - but in a motorcycle version

See that Caddy? That thing says 'Dad's Car' all over it! I want 'Dad's Motorcycle' and that Indian above is pretty close to the mark. The only one I've seen that comes closer was a pimped Harley Davidson Street Glide if I recall. One of my customers owned it but I lost touch with him. If any of you can recommend alternates - please do so!

Yannow...maybe I can be gulled after the meantime: a pox on Cycle Works Edmonton, and a plague on their salesmen! May God rot their balls for the lying scum they are!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!
For shame! Who woulda thunk it...a dishonest salesman???? I thought they were all as pure as the driven me!



  1. Vehicle sales of all kinds are through the roof these days. They make it so easy to get those loans the sales staff doesn't have the time or the need to deal anymore. Take it or walk they have other customers waiting in line.

    It's gotta be another bubble.

  2. Indeed, PP. They were selling these things like hotcakes.