Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 18 April 2016

You Owe Me, Kid...

It's been a good weekend. We got all the winter dog crap picked up in the back yard and the front yard raked - and I still managed to put on about 700~800 clicks on the Fireball.

On Saturday I peeled out for a shakedown cruise to Lloydminster on the AB/SK border to pick up some gunpowder for the pistols. This was a milk run and not an historical expedition like BW does all the time. I set the cruise at a buck twenty - put on the ipod, pulled the lever on the side of the bike that makes the foot rest go up - and I was a flying LaZBoy in motion! At the gas station on the hill by the microwave towers I even got to do some bird watching.

Look at this curious bird. It's an example of the new Cub-busting Extreme VSTOL birds. The giveaway is the landing gear on this monster. That bird is built to come straight down HARD. Kitfox, perhaps?

On Sunday a group of riders invited me along on an afternoon trip out to Alberta Beach along highway 37. It went pretty good until a flock of  kids on crotch rockets pulled up behind us. There must have been thirty of them. One idiot pulled out and blew by doing at least 200 kph! As he blasted past - I saw his tiny girl friend tucked up behind him - and said a prayer. Darwin is for those two and may God Almighty be kind to them. I've heard it said that God loves fools, cowards and little girls so if that's true - they should be alright. I wouldn't want to be the parents or the cop that will probably be scraping them off the pavement later this year.

Panty filler, more like. (And in my case, perhaps - a pantaloon filler!)
Well I just dropped my speed when that happened and wanted to be prepared to stop. Then the rest of the mob started pulling past and I was forced over to the side of the road - where my front tire got caught in a fissure in the road and started dragging me over to the dust and gravel at the side of the road and the ditch beyond that! Totally oblivious - the kids passed by on the centreline as I fought to keep the big cruiser out of the ditch. I had to ride it out - if I tried to pull out I would have run into the kid on my left or forced him out into oncoming traffic... or crash into them and get run over by the dozens of bikes behind! Sometimes I think I'm getting too old for this shit! HAR HAR HAR!
The biker bar at Alberta Beach. When we arrived the background parking lot was full of heavy metal cruisers, choppers and bobbers.
It ws my first time in a biker bar. Can you imagine it? 30 years I've been riding - and never in a biker bar. That culture doesn't really appeal to me - it seems to be a celebration of sleaze and is comprised of old farts trying to hang on to their rebellious childhood. I ride because I like motorcycles and going places. For me it is not some kind of fashion/social statement like it seems to be for those guys. But whatever...they were nice enough folks to be around. My experience with bikers is that they're all like that. The ones you gotta worry about don't have tats and they wear three piece suits - and even with them, unless you cross them they won't trouble you. They have far bigger things to worry about than grouchy old stubfarts like Yours Truly.
Pizza Boy? Wonder what that's all about?
And now it's Monday already. These weekends are waaaaay to short these days.


  1. I have not had any problems like you described. The bikers I have run across has been behaved on the road. Last year there was a car that blocked me twice from passing when I was on my bike. I made sure for the next fifty miles to aim my high beams right at him.

    I have dropped into a few biker bars. Not my scene and my ride is really out of place. I do like dropping in to eat at places off the beaten path.

    1. It's a new one on me too, BW. I have never seen the riders of the crotch rockets swarm up like that. Usually they drive in much smaller groups.

      I've seen the nutbars with the handlebar cam on Youtube travelling at warp speeds but never actually saw it myself until yesterday.

      I didn't mention it but it was a really strange day. There must have been about 200 bikes in front of that bar when we pulled in. They only had about 3 or 4 waitresses on - it must have been hell for them.

    2. In Black Diamond/Turner Valley/Longview it is wall-to-wall bikes on weekends. A few hundred bikes in Black Diamond/Turner Valley is not unusual. I am guessing it is largely the weekend warrior types who drive from Calgary and hang out for a few hours then drive back.