Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 22 August 2016


This is a real tough one to write about.

I laugh when somebody farts. I will split a gut at an offensive, off colour joke and I'll laugh even harder at the social justice warriors when they get offended about it. If BW slips and falls face first into the mud I will howl with glee. As long as nobody gets hurt (too badly) it's all good to me. I'll take a good gut-buster joke anywhere I can find one, these days. I will actually give bonus points to 'clean' jokes because in today's society, being clean and funny are almost impossible. But I digress - what can a guy that laughs at pooh jokes have to offer on the subject of maturity?

Flapz works for The Big Corporation in the Cubicle Farm. His boss is a harried, micro-managed corporate cog that will be ground into dust The Machine if he dares to think outside the box. Apparently the man has an impossible job with impossible demands, impossible schedules and deadlines... and is the stereotypical middle manager: snapping alligators below, and a slipping grip on the corporate ladder above. He in turn micromanages his employees of which Flapz is one. The Beardo is one of Flapz' coworkers and is your typical NDP howler monkey. He's a commie, a social justice warrior,  and he looks like your typical Gen Y douche. (I've seen cell pics of the dude, and I wouldn't hire anyone that looked like that). He and the boss are at each other's throats. The Beardo fired the first shot by being openly disrespectful and insubordinate of the boss. The boss has lost his chit, and has told The Beardo that not only does his work have to improve; if he ever wants to get ahead in the company he'll have to do something about his attitude, grooming habits and make an effort to be presentable. The Beardo went on Facebook and opened fire on the boss there; and things escalated. When it started Flapz laughed at their antics - but it's not funny any more.

Or, maybe it is, depending on your viewpoint. A corporate HR Inquisition has been called for. A team of adults are being brought in from a branch in another province to sort this out. Apparently The Beardo sent out an SOS saying he didn't feel safe at work and was being threatened by management! All the people involved are in their 40's and 50's. The HR team will be accommodated in a business like manner at local hotels for a couple days while they hash this out.

I hear the usual suspects mouthing off about globalism, crony capitalism, banksters, eeeeeevil jooos/corporations/rich people/insert-your-bogeyman-of-choice here. But really, here's the take away, folks. THIS IS WHY YOUR JOBS ARE GOING OVERSEAS. This is why many of you can't get a friggin job at all. You want nanny gov't and you want nanny corporations. Don't expect the corporations to work any better than the gov'ts is all I can say. It's a sad fact that poverty and stupidity go hand in hand.

Contrast: The former CEO of my company was a WW2 vet. When he was 19 he was one of the first Canadians to arrive on the D-Day battlefield by parachute. He started my nation wide company when he got laid off in the late 70's at the age of 54. Out of the back of his car! He retired last year at 91 but still comes into the office to hassle the shit out of his kids running the company and chat with the guys out on the shop floor.  Once I found out Ol' Jim Sr. was a  distinguished vet - handling him became a piece of cake. Whenever I was having problems with the childish antics of the kidults at work, or the idiot that was supposed to be managing the place - I threw it on Jim's plate. I even presented it like a Marine to his Gunnery Seargent. Nature of the problem, sir! Efforts at resolution, sir! People involved, sir! Phone numbers, emails, and incriminating documents for same, sir! He always handled it the same too: "Thank you very much Filthie, I will deal with this." I wouldn't square up my shoulders, snap off a salute and dismiss...but I always gave him a flawless, regulation "Very well, sir". I had been to the woodshed once or twice with Jim Sr. when I first started and once I learned the ropes - the old bugger slowly started to trust me. But the cardinal rule with him was that you did your job, you didn't screw with him and if there was a problem with professionalism - HE would deal with it and Lord help you if you were part of that problem. Ol' Jim could solve the problem Flapz is having with a phone call. All he cared about was that you were making an honest buck for the company in an honest way and being fair and honest with your coworkers. It's what adults do. Children (and sadly, too often, women) - will turn the workplace into a political mine field. Jim would round those meat heads up - give 'em all crew cuts, make 'em wear pocket protectors and bow ties and the hell of it is that everyone would be happier for it, even the perps driving all that nonsense!

Today Jim Sr. has lymphoma in six of his organs (or so I've heard) and even though he makes it in to the office from time to time - he sleeps a lot. It is with some trepidation that I poke the kids from time to time to ask about his welfare and health - but they keep me in the loop. I like his kids too. His 'children' are in their 60's and are as feisty and scrappy as their dad. Will they hang in like their father did? Somehow, I doubt it.

We have no means of producing men like Jim Sr. anymore. I'm about as close as you're gonna get - and as I said, I laugh at pooh jokes. Our universities, however, keep punching out pasty faced millennials like The Beardo with their participation diplomas like they were sausages. Yeah, every generation thinks the one preceding it is worth less than a hill of beans - but I think we are seeing history here. It isn't my imagination, Gen Y men, by and large - ain't worth a hill of beans. Hillary Clinton is counting on those types. There is a big societal 'reset' coming... and knowing the human animal... that usually involves a healthy cull too. There's gonna be some awfully soft people growing up awful hard and fast - and not all of them are going to be youngsters.


  1. scary.
    keep wondering where european 'men' have stored their testicles, but we are in the same trouble here.

    1. Sure we are, Deborah. We're devolving and people that object get punished. It's getting worse too...