Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Saturday Speakeasy

A sultry singer with a velvet voice. Seedy negro musicians. The incomparable Post Modern Jukebox!

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time and wrong place. Maybe I watch too many gangster movies. I dunno - but I think there would be nothing cooler than running a seedy speakeasy in 1930's Noo Yawk Focken City - or NYFC as the Internet used to refer to it. I wouldn't eat - I would drink scotch and smoke all the time. In addition to racy entertainment provided by disreputable negroes and unsavoury musicians - all my customers would be high rolling low lifes with whom I could always count on for a little side business. I would bet on the horses and ball games with creepy bookies. Whores and sinners would provide the hotties for my establishment and I would buy and sell bath tub gin to sleazy politicos and corrupt cops. Anyone that pissed me off would end up in the river wearing cement shoes. Gotta problem with it? Foygeddabaddit!

Whadda you focken polookas lookin at? Geddadaheah!

I must say the quality of our gangsters has gone straight to hell here in the last 50 years or so. The mafiosos had class. You can work with guys like that. At least there's a choice - the carrot or the stick! Play ball, keep your nose clean - and everyone wins. Be a dick...and take your chances.

But these filthy Russians, ethnic Vietnamese and other turdies - they have no class at all. They operate on fear and terror and the only way to deal with them is to dispose of them. Their business model is contagious too. You'll never see those creeps building swanky billion dollar casinos, or setting up posh night clubs. Those mutts have their hands full with trashy meth labs and scabby addicts. If I ever became the POTUS or Swine Minister of Canada - first thing I would do is reach out to the mafia and put a hit on the feral triads and imports. Hmmm... probably have the Clintons and the Turdeaus whacked too - and then I'd absorb their crime syndicates - after a good bloody purging, of course!

There is no reason that all things, up to and including crime - can't have at least a modicum of class and civility.


  1. Wow! Great, great music Mr. Filthie! Glad the young 'uns are bringing it back. You could have named your joint the "Tinderbox" instead of the 'Thunderbox"....

  2. Those kids are awesome. I just love them.