Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 28 September 2016


Couldn't post yesterday. Uncle Bob fired up the short bus for the stupid kids, loaded us all on and took us on a field trip to a military museum.

It took Quartermain the better part of the day to sound and cipher it out for the rest of us, but eventually he figured it out.

The largest battleship ever put to sea, the Japanese mega warships of the Yamato class, carried armor up to 26-inches thick. While no Iowa class battleship ever fought a Yamato, a section of 26-inch armor plate for these Japanese beasts was found at Kure Naval Base after World War 2. Settling a great historic ‘what if’, the plate was shipped to the US Naval Proving Ground in Dahlgren, Virginia and in tests, was shot at by a 16-inch/50cal armor-piercing round. The results? Zipped right through it like butter. To ensure bragging rights, the armor is on display at the US Navy Museum just in case anyone asked to see the math.

So I asked Wirecutter what a 16-inch/50 cal armour piercing round was, and he told me it was prolly a 16" artillery round necked down to .50 cal. Then Stackz. O. Mags started perving out and wanted to place an order for gun chambered in it.

I just shook my head. Those guys are so fuggin dumb: if anyone ever actually DID make a shell like that, it undoubtedly would launch its projectile at supra-relativistic velocities and a fella could theoretically end up shooting himself in the back with it yesterday!

Well! That pissed Stackz off, and he told me I was full a chit so we tried to get hold of some obscure bum in England named Stephen Hawkings who supposedly knows all about time, space, mathimatrics n fizicks.

So far he hasn't returned our calls.


  1. 16 inch Gun: Barrel length = 66 feet 8-inches (800 inches) and Bore = 16 inches. Artillery ‘caliber’ (length divided by bore) = 50, therefore designated 16-inch/50-caliber

    1. Well I'll be darned! Thanks for straightening that out - and thanks for stopping by!