The unthinkable has happened! May God have mercy on us all! Perhaps that isn't enough? I suppose it falls on me. I will take responsibility for this act, before Congress and before God.
Scramble two F16's out of the Aleutian Islands. Target is COOPVILLE. Repeat: Target is COOPVILLE. Confirm receipt of message and execute Priority 1 21 September 2016
Goddammit. We better do Japan again too.
Boomer SSBN USS MICHIGAN: authorization and authentication codes to follow. Target multiple warheads 1 through 4 on Tokyo, 5 through 10 on Nagasaki - and fire the rest at Ottowa, Washington and Tofield!
JFC. I am gonna need a .45 to get that damned ear worm out. And before anyone says it - screw you too!!!
It may not look like it to the bed wetters and snivellers... but this is a mercy we do this day...