But this time - I can't help myself!
On a recent excursion into Alberta's back country oil patch I despaired of finding suitable accommodations for a man of my station in life. I was so vexed by the problem that I turned to the world's most famous intrepid motorcycle explorer - BW Bandy - for recommendations. (Did I forget to mention that I rub shoulders with the most elite celebrity bloggers on a regular basis? Why, silly me!)
In any event the adventurer came back with a timely reply, which I enclose for your evaluation.
You were right to be troubled by this problem, and correct to come to me with it. Finding suitable accommodations is often problematic for men of your stature, but I believe I may be in a position to help. May I recommend:
I trust this establishment will be more than adequate for your needs. In the future, do not hesitate to call me for advice on any of your travel needs.
Well! Ol' Beedub learnt a thing or two in his travels, let me tell ya! The hay and straw was only mildly fragrant but otherwise fresh and clean, and the other guests were well spoken and intelligent. I give it 5 stars out of 5!
If I had to quibble and offer a spot of advice, though - if ya lose yer bubblegum, DON'T go looking for it! Write it off and open a new package, HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!