Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom!


Welcome to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom! Join me, Glen Filthie, as we stalk and hunt the most fearsome and vicious of dangerous game with world famous author, adventurer and explorer - WL Emery! Today we'll be hunting the African Cape Buffalo....!!!

Oh my...EWWWWWW! Some aspects of motherhood are
common across all the species....WL and I will pass on this shot
out of gentlemanly sportsmanship and compassion for the calf...

Ohhh.....GAAAAHHH!!!! Gross!
Think ya can give the poor buff a pass on this one WL? Maybe shoot the damned bird instead?
Now we know why the African Cape Buffalo is so mean and dangerous!
I don't blame 'em one bit!

Looks like the animals aren't going to cooperate with us today folks. Instead of a thrilling hunt, we seem to be getting a disrespectful scat show!!! I'm sorry everyone!

Let's clean things up a bit and change the subject! Maybe we should have some tasteful classical music, and see how masterpiece big game rifles and shotguns are made for big wheels like Earnest Hemingway, WL, and Yours Truly!

Who woulda thunk that cheese-eating surrender monkeys
could produce elegant firearms for elite sportsmen
like us?

Yannow I'm old enough to remember when portions of Africa were still largely unexplored and mysterious. Every Sunday the stubfarts from Mutual Of Omaha would come on TV and wrestle small tame gators and large snakes for the cameras. The tribesmen were always a hoot, I still remember laughing with Pop when some Oogah-Boogah with a bone through his nose got a spear in the ass from a rival tribe. Sometimes Africa was a very dangerous place to be back then. Today it's ALWAYS dangerous depending on where you are and who you're dealing with. I remember Colonel Jeff Cooper railing at a young couple who wanted to cross the continent on motorcycles - and he told them not to do it! Not surprisingly they were murdered and their adventure was cut brutally short.

Sadly, the Dark Continent is pretty much no longer a mystery. It was better back in the good ol' days when a kid with an imagination could imagine lost cities of gold, talking apes and fearless hunters and explorers adventuring into their realms. With all the mystique gone, the real Africa becomes a dirty, vile continent with little to nothing to recommend it.

1 comment:

  1. Wanna get your heart started in the morning? Right in the middle of your first cup of coffee, point your browser at Filthie's Thunderbox as hosted by the illustrious, irascible Glen Filthie, and find out you're now a character in a blog post. I managed to swallow before I lost it all over the keyboard.

    The first picture intrigues me. I don't know just what sort of craft this is, but it looks suitably luxurious. Given that my idea of 'roughing it' is a motel room without air conditioning in August, this is the sort of ride I'd want in Africa.

    The second photo (cow and calf) simultaneously demonstrates the unfortunate side of growing up in Africa and working for an insurance agency in a clerical position. Moving right along...

    The third photo, water buffalo and bird, strongly resembles and reminds me of a certain female who is currently residing in the double wide at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. If our noble host was anyone else, and I mean anyone else, I'd say this was pure coincidence. But this isn't just anyone hosting this particular axle breaking 'chuck hole in that great electronic highway we call the Internet. This is Glen Filthie, and he did this on purpose. I know it, he knows it, and anyone who knows him (electronically or otherwise) knows it. Go ahead, try denying it. We could all use a good laugh this morning.

    The clip of the French firearms manufacturer held my attention for the entire 20 minutes, and I wanted more. That's unusual for me, as I recognize click bait in five seconds or less. This is an outstanding clip and well worth watching.

    Glen's observations about Africa as the Dark Continent mirror my own. Largely unexplored (for good reason), it was easy to imagine a lost city, head hunters, and rogue elephants. Sadly, Africa hasn't been tamed and never will be; it's been invaded by civilization and the inhabitants now enjoy the chief advantage that civilization has to offer: the AK-47.

    On another note, the term 'Ooga-Booga' is so old it isn't even politically incorrect anymore, and I about snorted coffee for a second time. Nice one.