Never fails. Every single time.
A guy's out goose hunting and takes a break for a cup of coffee, or to take a squirt. As soon as you unload the gun and lean it up against the tree or fence post - the teals go over at warp 8. But you don't care; even if you were ready for them ya probably woulda missed 'em. So ya lean back and sip your coffee, or ya keep on draining your lizard - and then the big geese go over so low and slow, you can hear the air under their wings... and all ya can do is piss all over your boots as you look up in shocked wonder and ask "how can the hunting gods be so cruel to me?"
Once I was eating my lunch in the shade of a great big round bale and I'll remember it to this day: I finished up, brushed the crumbs off my formal camouflage wear, picked up my bow and stepped around the bale to get back to my hunting spot - and startled a perfectly edible doe on the other side. She was out of range before I could even think of nocking an arrow.
So I've been watching the nooze about that woman's march and I'm watching the deranged, the degenerate and the depraved shrieking and capering about - and wondering where the sportsmen are with the rubber bullets and the pepper spray and the tear gas! Godddammit - they're gonna get away!
HAR HAR HAR!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your delectation, may I present Nina Donovan's "I Am A Nasty Woman"
(Dammit - somebody give Gorges a slap! He's fallen asleep already!!! How RUDE!!!)
I'm a nasty woman.
I'm not as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in Cheeto Dust
Not as nasty as a man who is a distract to America
From back to broken back he stomped on
Words are just white noise ruining this national anthem.
I'm not as nasty as confederate flags being tattooed across my cityBlah blah blah, my vagina hurts
It's all your fault...
Tell me of a decade that didn't have traces of white hoods, burning up our faith in humanity
I'm not as nasty as a swastika painted on a pride flag yadda yadda yadda...
WAIT. What!!??! Somebody - get Uncle Bob! A swastika on a gay pride flag??? HAR HAR HAR!!! We are SO doing that!!! We'll fly it over Bob's Treehouse! It'll be AWESOME! Holy chit! It's a thing, I guess!!!
Whaddya think, Gruppenfurher Wallace?
This one has all the frooty colours of the rainbow
goes good with the commies and fascists....
Oh man. I am putting this one up at Gorges house!
I will get pounded and have my face washed out with snow for it
...but the joke will certainly be worth it! :)
It woulda been nicer to see an airstrike on that outbreak of feral zombie womanhood... maybe catch a few for some entertainment on the waterboard... but that's the life of the sporting gentlemen. Sometimes you win, sometimes ya lose, and sometimes you hold your nose and beat a hasty retreat before the stink menstruating, estrogen crazed womyn overpower ya, HAR HAR HAR!
Makes ya appreciate the ol' Stars n' Stripes, dunninit?
I've heard the Usual Suspects
saying it should be outlawed as a hate symbol too.
You've come a long way, baby.