Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 23 January 2017

Things Ya See When Ya Don't Have A Daisycutter


Never fails. Every single time.

A guy's out goose hunting and takes a break for a cup of coffee, or to take a squirt. As soon as you unload the gun and lean it up against the tree or fence post - the teals go over at warp 8. But you don't care; even if you were ready for them ya probably woulda missed 'em. So ya lean back and sip your coffee, or ya keep on draining your lizard - and then the big geese go over so low and slow, you can hear the air under their wings... and all ya can do is piss all over your boots as you look up in shocked wonder and ask "how can the hunting gods be so cruel to me?"

Once I was eating my lunch in the shade of a great big round bale and I'll remember it to this day: I finished up, brushed the crumbs off my formal camouflage wear, picked up my bow and stepped around the bale to get back to my hunting spot - and startled a perfectly edible doe on the other side. She was out of range before I could even think of nocking an arrow.

So I've been watching the nooze about that woman's march and I'm watching the deranged, the degenerate and the depraved shrieking and capering about - and wondering where the sportsmen are with the rubber bullets and the pepper spray and the tear gas! Godddammit - they're gonna get away!

HAR HAR HAR!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your delectation, may I present Nina Donovan's "I Am A Nasty Woman"
(Dammit - somebody give Gorges a slap! He's fallen asleep already!!! How RUDE!!!)


I'm a nasty woman.
I'm not as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in Cheeto Dust
Not as nasty as a man who is a distract to America
From back to broken back he stomped on
Words are just white noise ruining this national anthem.
I'm not as nasty as confederate flags being tattooed across my city
Blah blah blah, my vagina hurts
It's all your fault...
Tell me of a decade that didn't have traces of white hoods, burning up our faith in humanity
I'm not as nasty as a swastika painted on a pride flag yadda yadda yadda...

WAIT. What!!??! Somebody - get Uncle Bob! A swastika on a gay pride flag??? HAR HAR HAR!!! We are SO doing that!!! We'll fly it over Bob's Treehouse! It'll be AWESOME! Holy chit! It's a thing, I guess!!!



Whaddya think, Gruppenfurher Wallace?



This one has all the frooty colours of the rainbow
AND
goes good with the commies and fascists....



Oh man. I am putting this one up at Gorges house!
I will get pounded and have my face washed out with snow for it
...but the joke will certainly be worth it!  :)



It woulda been nicer to see an airstrike on that outbreak of feral zombie womanhood... maybe catch a few for some entertainment on the waterboard... but that's the life of the sporting gentlemen. Sometimes you win, sometimes ya lose, and sometimes you hold your nose and beat a hasty retreat before the stink menstruating, estrogen crazed womyn overpower ya, HAR HAR HAR!




Makes ya appreciate the ol' Stars n' Stripes, dunninit?
I've heard the Usual Suspects
saying it should be outlawed as a hate symbol too.


I think this was a tune from my distant childhood by Squirtin' Burton and some obscure band. Some long haired freak was yodelling a warning for the woman to take her hypnotic charms, her war machine - and hit the road! When was that one? Back in the 60's? Well, America - you have the woman you want - and you're welcome to her! And never has this tune been more appropriate than it is now. Marching, angry women offended by nothing and everything?

You've come a long way, baby.


4 comments:

  1. When you get set to raise that flag, I wanna be there. I'll bring booze, broads, blow - whatever it takes. I wanna see that flag go up, and I wanna be around when the moonbats, SJWs, and Feminazis find it and try protesting in Unca Bob's backyard. I'll have a friggin' CASE of bear repellent.

    And that will be a party worth having.

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  2. AND - if we're making bumper stickers, I need a dozen or so for my friends and neighbors. HAR HAR HAR!!!

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  3. As the news media sings songs about the Gay Knight and his misterus.

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    1. Well, while they have their party, we need to have ours boys. Trump isn't sparing them a second thought - he's looking ahead and sending in the earth movers to clear away decade's worth of deadwood and I say we should join the work party - and invite all the deplorable rejects! :)

      (WL is buying....:D

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