Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Dog F*ckers VS Dog Lovers


Holy mackaral.

How fuggin stupid are these people?

I'm a farm kid. I'm actually fairly good with animals and better than most. I've trained horses, chickens and dogs and the metrics are always the same. Good behaviour is always praised, and sometimes rewarded. Bad behaviour is always punished. Your average dog (or horse or cat) will respond well to a bag of cookies in one hand, and a spanking with the other - all they have to decide which one they want.

When I got Macey she was in the SPCA to be put down. She was about 2 years old and had behavioural problems. But because I was The World's Best Animal Handler (I'm a farm kid!) - I knew all about dogs and there's no bad behaviours that ya can't beat out of 'em, right?

Welp. Yeah. No - Macey had some real issues. She was a good girl but anything smaller than she was - was considered prey. Small dogs, cats, rabbits - if she saw one she'd try to slip her leash and go after it. And make no mistake: she fully intended to kill it. On walks she was a terror. She almost ate a Yorkie and a couple ankle biters and when she did I would slap her hard enough for my hand to hurt. She just shrugged it off and went after the next victim. Soon I was beating her ass so hard I had to quit because either she or I was going to break something. I'm not lying either, that is how bad it was. "Cookies? Shove your cookies up your ass, Filthie!"  "You call that a beating, Filthie? I can take that all day!"

One day we were out running and she saw a rabbit and lost her shit. The leash got between my feet, I went over and picked up some road rash - and I lost MY shit. I beat her again. When I got home, I got one hand on her tail, the other on her collar and I threw her in the back of the truck! That bitch was going BACK to the SPCA or out to the gun club and she wasn't coming back!!!!



God bless my wife, she got the keys to the truck away from me, talked me down, and slowly my rage started to subside and I began to think. Clearly, I wasn't taking the right tack with this dog and needed other options. The idiots at the SPCA were no help. 'Have you tried this?' Yep. "How about that?" Yup. "And what about the other thing...?" Yup...

Couple days later we did coffee with King Peter and Mary and Pete just laughed. "Glen, ya got a GREAT dog there! Your 'problem' is that she's smart, and you - maybe not so much. Buy a spikey choke collar and you're good to go!" I told Pete that he was full a shit - and he is - but I went out and forked over 20 bucks for the collar and figured I was wasting my time.

The next day she spied a little dog and went off - and I yanked on that collar HARD. She yelped and instantly submitted! I was stunned! Are you kidding?!?!? All I need is this stupid collar to make my dog behave? Three days later she minded her P's and Q's when small dogs were about. She watched the rabbits with intensity - but minded her manners. 5 days later she started to heel - that's a tough one to teach high energy/high intelligence dogs. A couple months later she was off leash altogether.

My dogs need a five commands:

Heal
Sit
Stay
Lie down
Come

They HAVE to do those commands without any bullchit. If they are out in the road, or getting into a fight with another dog I need them to stop NOW. That's all any household pet needs, really. But lord, that girl was smart.

People started to notice and a couple offered me money to train their dogs. Hey, I only look stupid! But it felt good to be noticed that way. Pete and Mary had 'Schutzen Hounds'. The dogs are all German Shepherds and they compete in a variety of dog events like tracking, obstacle courses, obedience and what I call 'fighting and biting'. There is a name for it but it involves some idiot in pads who is a 'bad guy' and the dogs attack him, take him down and then have to withdraw when the handler calls. Macey could  have gone head to head with them on the obedience events. Not bad for an SPCA mutt, HAR HAR HAR!

That $20.00 collar saved that dog's life. Not only that, it transformed her from an unmanageable threat to a dog to be envious of. They look like vicious torture devices but are exactly what some dogs need. Today Macey is a teacher. Mort is as dumb as Macey is smart; so he pretty much does what she does and it works for everyone. If you see a dog wearing a collar like that - it's because the dog needs it and rest assured, they work. If you have to walk on glaze ice often as I do, you can't be doing that and fighting with a disobedient dog because if the owner gets hurt, that isn't good for anyone.

Once your dog has those five commands, they won't need that collar anymore. Obedient dogs are happy dogs - a lot of people don't understand that. Once a dog realizes that he can make his owner happy by doing a couple stupid tricks - he becomes happy too. Those vicious looking collars can literally be a life saver.


1 comment:

  1. We used a gentle leader, and it worked. I was raised on a horse farm and so understand critters pretty well, and I know that there's not a thing wrong with the choke chain or prong collar, so long as the owner doesn't misuse it. Clearly, you didn't, the proof being in the dog's behavior.

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