Wednesday, 5 April 2017
I wear crocs.
Yes, I know that it is legal as church on Sunday to beat up a man wearing crocs, and that wedgies are an acceptable alternative punishment for wearing them. Even self-respecting chinamen won't wear them.
Pop always bought moccasins. He still does and they wear out and look like shit. Big Bro buys them too and his look like hell as well. When Pop saw my Crocs he kept his lip zipped because he is too old to beat me up now - but I know that he would if he could. As for 'big' bro... I will end him with a beer-belly-bop into the middle of next week if he ever got stupid about it! I LIKE CROCS.
There. I said it.
Mine cost about 20 bucks three years ago - they are even more contemptible than Crocs because they are knockoffs! And they still look brand new! Why, if you wanted to follow that alligator around for three days and retrieve your Crocs after he was finished with them - you could probably just rinse them off and wear them again!
That is strength and integrity that is worthy of a United States Marine, never mind a grumping old stubfart.
Critique my crocs at your peril.