Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 19 June 2017

Had To Walk Out Of Church Yesterday

Yesterday I went to church with the wife as I do from time to time.

They had a busy morning lined up: 4 baptisms (or dunkings, as they jokingly call them), a spiel on Father's Day, and a picnic afterward. It started out awesome. All the families were there and some proud parents took pics as their kids got submerged in God's holy wash and they were beautiful. They were mostly young daughters.

And then the Father's Day spiel started. The preacher started off talking about the father's duties in the family and I just wanted to crawl under a rock. I had failed as a father in so many ways. My in-laws pretty much stole my fatherhood and undermined it whenever they could - but it was me that let them do it. And here I was, in a house of God, on Father's Day, with fine strapping young men and beautiful wives raising beautiful daughters and sons that would make them proud - and I thought about my own  daughter ... and I just couldn't take it. I fled. I didn't belong there.

I went home and grabbed my friends and went to Dawg Island for a long slow walk. I wasn't worried too much about my wife; she understands the score and knows the ins-and-outs of it. But the people at the chapel? I hope none of them noticed. I love the people there, they are real Christians all the way through and my wife is too. Usually when the subject of my daughter or my in laws come up I start raging and foaming at the mouth but not this time. Lately it's just become a fact of life - 'get over it already' I tell myself. Everyone has baggage these days.

After I got back from Dawg Island with a couple panting hot dogs, I talked it out with the wife and she thinks I have a place in their chapel while I am not so sure. All I knew was that I didn't belong there yesterday and I knew it with a certainty that is hard to describe. Maybe God was talking to me, who knows.

Hold your kids close. Don't ever let them go, and don't let anyone get between you.

3 comments:

  1. Jesus didn't come to save the righteous, he came to the drunks and the tax collectors and the adulterers and the people who have failed in every way possible. The place is yours if you want it.

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  2. What ASM826 said. In addition to which I'll add that what you see in the congregation on Sunday is the best every member has to offer, and you're seeing it for an hour or so. You don't see the rest, and let me tell you something - you're a long way from being alone.

    Have lunch with the Pastor and give him a shortened version of the difficulty, then ask for his Biblical advice. Believe me when I tell you that there is a place for you and yours in the Lord's house.

    You're a good man, Glen. Stop beating yourself up.

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  3. Sorry boys - and thanks for dropping in. I seriously need to forget about this. Everyone has a family failure or issue or something ... but sometimes I look at the way things are, the stupidity of it... and I despair. I've spent decades with in laws trying to drive a wedge into my family and the clueless idiots had no idea they were driving it into their own family as well.

    Think I'll drop in next Sunday and see how it goes.

    ReplyDelete