Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

My Last Will And TestaMINT

A couple weeks back I sat down with world famous adventurer, author, and man about town - WL Emery - and we figured out my last will and testaMINT for the settlement of the vast Filthie Estate. We agreed that my earthly remains would be cooked to a cinder, and then loaded onto a drone copter. The ashes would then be flown over the next DNC convention and then dumped on the hordes of screaming stupid people below. Inhale that, Blowjob Bill! HAR HAR HAR!!!!! Or he can do that with the Liberal Party of Canada - just as long as it insults stupid people I am good with it!!! :)

That was easy! All it took was a quart of gin and some cheap malt liquor!

Other issues are a little more sticky. My life insurance is up for renewal and we had the beneficiary down as my daughter. We had a falling out about 7 years ago - the regulars know the gory details - and I haven't seen her since. It's a horrible thing to say but I don't think I want to see her again either. Yannow those idiot kids at the universities that want 'safe places' and think they have the right to abuse people that they don't like and disagree with? That's her crowd.

Long story short - I have problems leaving everything I've worked for in this life - in the hands of a feckless, childish kidult that won't grow up, has done nothing to earn it, and more than likely will just piss it away. I would like my meager leavings left to somebody that will do something good with it.

Are any of you familiar with the ins-and-outs of designating charities as your beneficiary rather than your children? It's an awful, morbid thing to talk about but I am one of those guys that rests easier knowing his affairs - all of them - are in order. I am going to sit down with a legal beagle at some point - I was just curious about the opinions of the experts! :)

Your two bits, as always - is sincerely appreciated.


  1. I would do the estate planning with a pro. Then I would, if opportunity presents, give away as much as possible while I was still alive. That prevents a protracted court battle because there is just not enough left to make it worth it to a lawyer.

  2. wife and dogs first.
    if either of you have a protracted stay in a nursing home everything you worked for will be used caring for you both and you won't have to worry about any remainder.
    otherwise, look closely at 'charities' as many of them line their own pockets first, sometimes up to 80% or more of donations.
    p.s.- why sully your ashes by pouring them over asses?
    let your wife decide.
    a nice mausoleum niche for both of you together?
    then we of the faithful can make pilgrimage!

  3. Put everything into a trust, then leave the trust to your wife (if she outlives you) and to your favorite charities if she doesn't. In the US of A, a trust isn't likely to be challenged successfully in court, which is what happens when you leave everything to charity and the kid finds out the truth.

  4. Well thanks for all that folks. All I want to do when I shuffle off this mortal coil - is to do something GOOD and leave something behind.

    I strongly suspect my wife will outlive me and unless she gives me a decent send off, my ashes will likely end up in an outhouse basement somewhere if it is left up to my daughter! I don't care; they're only ashes, I suppose.