Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 23 July 2017

The Filthie Critic



I am just learning my way around Amazon and Kindle. I have decided to start reading again. Last time I was on Kobo and I think that's a Canadian company because unless you're a chick or a faggot the reading lists are utterly dismal. I'm serious - all the genres are infested with lecturing social justice wankers that make sure all the characters have the right multicultural backgrounds, and that at least a couple scenes include graphic homosexuality and explicit detail. I can do without the fudge packing, the canoe licking and the scolding, boring plots with powerful women that come across as nags and bitches. It never occurred to me to leave a review of those books I got ripped off on and given the antics of the Hollyweird/Arts n' Lit crowd these days maybe I shoulda.

Mind you that could backfire; Brig over at Borepatch got a crappy review and apparently she's a little bummed out about it.https://borepatch.blogspot.ca/2017/07/theres-no-terminex-for-trolls.html Poor kid. But - it's a fact of life, I guess. I personally won't write a negative review on a book, because a given work may stink to high heaven for me - but one a you fellas might think it's just fine.

I will write a positive review and left one on Murder One by WL Emery. Amazon has a gizmo where you can give however many stars ya want depending on how good it was so I gave WL all five of 'em.

I think he has another one I might grab, and I fully intend to rake the other blog authors over the coals eventually too. I fully intend to be the biggest prick about it too! WL got lucky (this time) but The Bayou Rennaissance Man and the Old NFO are up next. How will they fare against the worst internet troll and literary art critic of all time? I will let you know! HAR HAR HAR....errrr.... BWA HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAH!!!!!

It's weird to have actual new, entertaining material to read again. I am glad somebody is doing something about the drought that politically correct publishing companies have made.

Road Rage



Yesterday on the way home from the rod n' gun club I noticed Mrs. Mallard trying to get across the highway with about 5 ducklings behind her. I am a sportsman and a conservationist so of course - I applied the brakes to slow down and give her time to cross. I looked in the rearview - and noticed a fat old grey haired bitch right off my bumper with her gums flapping at 1000 MPH - and she set up to pass - right over momma Mallard and her little family.

I know people are assholes, and in her defense maybe she didn't see the critters - but all the same... where I was pulling over and gently breaking before, welp - I swerved out and hugged that centre line and STOOD on the brakes - watching that cnut in the mirror the whole time. Mrs. Mallard and her ducklings barely made it across my lane.

And got run over by an 18 wheeler going the other way. Guy didn't even slow down.

I dunno why but that just hit me wrong and left me numb. The fat old bitch passed me and I got The Bird and her mouth was running even faster and I barely noticed. I sped up to 60 MPH, set the cruise and watched that fat old bitch floor it over the next hill. She got into it again further up the road with another driver when the two lanes merged into one and we almost had another pile up as neither would give way.

These people vote. They breed. They get driver's licenses, jobs in positions of responsibility and authority and handle power tools.

And they tell me that private citizens shouldn't have guns. I will be keeping my guns thanks. If I can back up and avoid such people I will - it's a free country and a big one. I don't have to share oxygen with assholes, and there are mallard ducks that will breed and survive and have the next year's clutch of ducklings.

But lord help these people if they ever back me up and I feel that wall or corner at my back.


Saturday, 22 July 2017

When They Were Queens



I am a chauvinist and a patriarch all the way through. I think there are things women shouldn't do and combat is one of them. They don't have the stamina, their joints won't take the punishment and we've seen what hard combat can do to strong men - to willingly put women into a role like that is an act of sheer folly and stupidity that is going to cost lives.

HOWEVER

If the bad guys get past us - I would love like hell for them to be greeted by our women like this. Further - the friggin feminists bitch and piss and moan about eeeeeevil men and the awful gun lobby - and if any of those clucky bints had any brains at all they would be behind concealed carry 100%! Rapists should get justice right at the crime scene.

If you're a lady - proficient gun skills may not be part of the feminine arts but they should be something you master all the same. You owe it to yourself, your family and your man.

When We Were Kings




That's a Big Wheel - after my time. I had an old fashioned steel trike that I preferred to the cheap plastic of the Big Wheels and managed to kill myself on it several times.

Minimum Wage


When I was a kid I flipped burgers at Rotten Ronnie's for $3.25/hour.

The real minimum wage is $0.00 and no bones about it. I just wonder how these people honestly think? Consider: every day low skill/low IQ Africans and Moslems are coming in by the boat load. Mexicans are swarming over the border and are even showing up here in Canada now. And of course, because everyone knows that women can do everything a man can (only better) - we now have a massively glutted labour pool. What do they think that will do to wages?

Oh well. The market always wins, and the forces driving them will not be decided by some idiot politician with a pen.

The Gender Spectrum Simplified


It has to be an inside joke. I have experience with queers and good lord - their sexuality is one thing but the other behaviours that go along with it? Even basement dwelling chit house rats make more sense.

When my daughter was growing up there was no shortage of teachers that said she was mentally defective and needed drugs and counselling and warm fuzziness. To me it looked like a disciplinary problem. I tried the time outs and soft punishments and the kid just snoozed and kept doing the behaviours that got her in trouble. Finally after dozens of notes from the teacher I beat her ass and mysteriously - all her behavioural problems disappeared.

Her marks sucked of course (due to learning problems. The pooch screwing public educators were sure of it). So - I didn't home school my daughter but I tutored her. She was failing grade 7 math and by the end of the years she had honors. Not only that, I had her started on grade 10 algebra and by the time she hit grade 10 she could do elementary calculus. She was a full blown honour student and I was so proud.

So proud.

Today of course she is a gay hipster that copped out on life as soon as she got out of the house. I wonder now if maybe those teachers were right and I was wrong? I thought her problems were self induced and a product of normal childish rebellion and that traditional methods would take care of that as it had with me and my friends when we were kids.

Who knows. Do you feed a child's demons, or try to exorcise them? Either way, they are in for a rocky ride and I just don't have the wisdom to make that call. I know for a fact our idiot public educators don't either.

All you can do with your kids is your best, I suppose.

Have a good Saturday.

Friday, 21 July 2017

The Perfect Martini



I am hopping mad at Mad Jack! Lookit how he pooped in the comments of my scientific hate graph post! A matini? A martini?!?!? Who does he think he is??? WL Emery?


Welp. Some people shoot Glocks and some fellas drink....martinis.

I would like to get snobbish and sophisticated about the dram of Black Bull I am having before bed, but why bother? Everyone knows I will drink whatever's in the jerry can or radiator - and I've been known to siphon the old style photocopiers back in the good old days, HAR HAR HAR! 

BEEEEELCH!!!!

It's Friday night, the dogs are walked, tomorrow's ammo's been made and if you are having a martini so be it - you're allowed and you earned it! I will just leave this helpful tip on making the perfect martini - and then hit the hay. As always - thanks for stopping by!



For The Last 8 Years...

... I've been trying to replace my 'go-to' rifle.

Sure, I had AR's n' .22's and a couple blackpowder guns, but MY gun - the one I use when the stubfarts at the range get lippy and unruly and need to be humiliated to restore their manners - was a heavy barrelled Ruger No.1 in .25-06. That thing would shoot .5 ~.75 MOA all day long and I shot that gun like crazy for 15 years. All the gun club duffers would start sucking up and being nice and try to buy it off me, but I rudely told them all to get stuffed! I was the king of the riflemen on my range, and I wasn't going to take any guff from the peons and peasantry!!!

And one day - I noticed my groups started to open up. I was at the peak of my game back then and trusted my marksmanship. In horror, I dug out the chronograph and noticed my velocities dropping off too. Over then next couple months it was too horrible to contemplate but it was true: I had burned the throat out on the barrel. That gun would never shoot like it used to again.

All my arch enemies came crawling out of the woodwork to mock and slander me as I fell from gun-club grace. Suddenly, cretins like Flapz, Chains, Old Jim, Ian and that fuggin paki guy could wipe the matt with me using their precision bolt guns. I had become a peon.

Oh sure, I could try and re-barrel the old No.1 or build a precision bolt gun - but that's a crap shoot. I started buying and selling guns, looking for something new to challenge me. One day Clay at Prophet River ordered me in a Springfield M1A - the civvie equivalent to the M14 Garand rifle used by the US militaries back in the 50's and 60's. I got the Match Rifle version. I loved the gun, but they aren't meant to be shot with scopes. It's easy-peasy to put a scope on one if all you do is shoot from the bench... but I sling up and shoot from the formal marksman positions and sometimes even off my hind feet. I dicked around with my M1A trying to make it 'user friendly' for a serious rifleman and marksman. I bought and threw out my first scope mount. I found some guy on the internet that made The Mother Of All M14 scope mounts and thought I was good to go - but scopes sit so high on M1A's that ya need to get a cheek riser to use them. I could only get crappy junky cheapo risers here in Canada - so I said screw it and made my own out of leather. Then I threw an expensive Swarovski 3x9 on it and just couldn't get that damn gun to fit me for love or money. Over the last years I diddled with it and finally lost my temper about a month ago. I was either going to get this damned thing shooting and fitting me properly,  or I was going to build a custom AR15 target gun in 6.5mm Grendel.

Finally...finally I think I got 'er all figgered out!

That's a Trijicon 5x25 variable with a simple 4 plex reticle.


This is a serious, expensive piece of glass. (Actually it isn't, I suppose. I paid $1800.00 for it installed but a similar Nighforce is $3600 and the Steiners get up there too). Putting a better scope than this on an M1A starts to take on a 'polishing turd' aspect.



That's the cheek riser I made for it on the back. It has a couple 
maple leaf and buffalo conchos on it
and it kinda has an RCMP-ish air about it.
Not sure I like the looks of it - but it works.


I had the geezer at P&D mount the scope because they true everything up, prep and square the bases and they only charge $40.00 for it. I could do all that myself but I don't want to buy the tools and spend the time with it. Usually they set the scopes up so that they are at least on the paper at 100 yards.  Not this time - when I went out to formally sight it in - it must have been hitting at least a couple feet high. Usually I can sight in with ten rounds, and six of those are just a formality. This time I burned up 25. I've never had that happen with scopes mounted by P&D before.



Those are my last three off a rudimentary rest. Then I found one last shell rolling around in my shooting bag and sent it at the 6" 100m gong off hand and made it ring like a bell! The gun gave me a gentle push and rolled up just like my beloved old No. 1 used to.

The King has returned - and He's madder than hell! My arch enemies are all in for a very, very rude surprise at the next match! HAR HAR HAR!!!!

Have a great weekend guys - we'll see ya on the range! No rude jokes at my expense will be tolerated!!!

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Vagining Out With The CTV



BAWK BAWK BAWK!




I made it one minute and change - and then had to shut it off! It was that, or cut my wrists. I ain't lyin' - I can remember hearing girls talk like that as far back as grade 7 ... and thinking they were idiots then too! I've heard my Mother talk like that and she's in her 60's. Do women ever grow up?

For you boys - sorry ya had to see that. Here is something worthwhile to watch. Used to be you could get quality programming like that on CTV too. But the world's moved on, and I'm none to sorry to watch it go, sometimes. Let's drink some beer and burn some meat, fellas:



Today's Rule 5 Violation




I just got 30 days for this
veritable feast for the eyes.
There is no justice.

In Another Couple Months It Will Be The Moose And Deer



Welp - can't do much about the moose and deer doing it..
But these cheeky fish?
I am off to Jack's to pick up a 1 lb. can of IMR4350 gun powder,
a fuse, and a lighter...

Trans-Gender Bathroom Follies: The Mummy




Who woulda thunk a corpse could stagger into a stall and take a dump?
Imagine the stink...!

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Glen Filthie's Planet Of The Apes






Hey, if it works as a musical it should fly as a porn too!
Have a good Thursday - and we'll see you at the theatre
Studio 82 tonight!

The Hate Graph - Check It Out, It Works!





Hmpffff - people that drink Whisky, Beer and Wine are only mildly hateful of others. BW, Mad Jack and Yours truly are all mild mannered gentlemen and cool headed, by and large. So far this graph is 100% accurate. And lookit - gin drinkers are REALLY hateful of others just like world famous adventurer, explorer, and man about town - WL Emery. What does Pete Forester drink? I see him as a white rum drinker, based on this scientific chart.

In other news, I discovered that Fat Al Gore is absolutely right about warble gloaming, and that we are all gonna die if you don't give us all your money.

Hammy Hampster And Matty Mouse Go Bye-Bye



It's a good thing they don't sell these things to civilians. I'm serious: I would LOVE a box of these. I would go down to the dump and throw them at the junked cars and mounds of rubbish just to watch it fly! Just think of the practical jokes: pull the pin, drop it in the boss's desk - and feign innocence when he comes in the next morning to find his desk reduced to flinders! Hell - I would set one off in MY desk too!

Some Final Advice On The Gun Thing



So. Congratulations! You’ve taken my scholarly advice and bought yourself a mid grade AR15 (or better) and a …. A G…. a Gl…..GAH! You bought one of these:








Ick. Ptheh! I can’t even bring myself to say it’s name!!!
Never the less one a these in a standard service
configuration is probably the best ways to get started.



So? You’ve probably hit the range and done the PEW! PEW! PEW! thing. You had a ball, right? Even though ya missed a few? That is awesome. You’ve probably developed a few concerns too. If you’re like me and pretty much everyone else, you’d love to spend more time shooting… but the cost is prohibitive! Last I looked, bargain bin .223 was around $30.00 for 50 shells. When you start blamming , 50 rounds doesn’t go far, does it? If the wife and kid are out with you, you can be out of shells in 20 minutes. Ditto for the pistol. What does factory 9mm hardball run these days? I know it is pretty easy to pay out $35.00 for a carton of 50 .45ACP shells, and over $40.00 for .45 Colt.


Basic reloading is easy and safe.
Kids are good at it if ya watch 'em.




So now you’re at a crossroads. You like shooting, you’d do more if you could afford it because you want to shoot better too. But – the damned cost! How does a guy do it when he has a budget, a family, and all the other BS that goes along with being a father?



The answer is simple and straightforward: you have to reload! Good shooting is a function of trigger time and good instruction and building good habits. There are no shortcuts. Reloading intimidates people and especially the new shooters and it really shouldn't. You see big manuals and write ups that can gobble pages and hours as gas bags lecture and hector and bore you to tears with meaningless details! I know because I have been right where you are – about 35 years ago. Then there’s the goofs warning you that “you’ll blow yourself up doing that!”

The truth of it is that the ‘hold my beer and watch this’ crowd HAVE blown themselves up. It can happen but it takes almost criminal and deliberate negligence to do it. In real life I can have you loading your own shells in an our or less. Your ammo will be serviceable, reliable and well made. But after that? Depending on how anal you get – you can spend your next 40 years trying to develop ‘the perfect load’.

You have to decide what shooter you want to be. Kim du Toit is THE definition of The American Rifleman. He generally shoots curios, rack grade milsurps, surplus and service ammo and generally gets by well with them. By all accounts he’s a respectable shot and any hobgoblins intent on doing him harm are probably in for a nasty surprise. That guy’s a patriot and a rifleman in every sense of the word.

There is no room for snobbery in this sport. But – do you want to go beyond that? Reloading your ammo allows you to do that by tailoring your ammo to the rifle or pistol in your hands – and saving you $$$ in the process. Before you get another gun – buy the reloader. Yes you can save money by buying dies and presses second hand but there’s a rule about that too. If the seller is an old geezer that looks like he has health problems – he probably is, and that is the only reason he’s selling his stuff. You pay a man like that his asking price and you DON’T dicker. Congrats, you’ve done a good deed both for him and yourself – a deed worthy of a Marksman. Another rule of thumb about geezers and range etiquette: when they come by and start boring you to death with their bullshit hunting stories, you listen respectfully as long as you can, and only break off when you can do so courteously. A lot of those guys are old and lonely and ‘there but for the grace of God go I' applies. A lot of times those guys will drop some great tips along with the spewage. Treat them well. Honour is a gift you give yourself.


That's 20 consecutive shots, 25 yards, offhand
with a .45ACP, all in the black.
Think it's easy? After several years away from
pistols I got back in the game a couple years ago.
This is the first time I have been able to do it!
It's harder than it looks.
Sadly, I will never be a marksman, they can do this all day long.
I am betrayed by age and old eyes.




Final advice? Welp – the best shooters in the world are the United States Green Bean Fuggin Marines with their M16’S! (Otherwise known as the USFMC). Those guys live with their rifles day in and day out and a lot of ‘em are renowned pistoleers too. For the best in rifle instruction, I recommend reading "Sight Alignment,  Trigger Control & The Big Lie" by Master Sgt. Jim Owens. His book is on Amazon, and I think his website is jarheadtop.com or something like that. Your scores WILL improve merely from reading the book and taking his advice.


If you think you can 'fight your way to your rifle' through a
guy like this, you are in for a whole WORLD of hurt.
If he had an interest in coming between you and your rifle you
WILL get the worst of it.


Read anything you can lay your hands on by Colonel Jeff Cooper – he wrote for almost all the gun rags, he pretty much invented the sport of IPSC, and he will open your eyes to what a man skilled in pistolcraft can actually do. One of the worst things you will hear from gunny scribblerians is that ‘the handgun is for fighting your way to your rifle…’. If you learn to use the pistol to it’s full potential, in most close tactical situations you won’t need that rifle because you’ll have potted the bad guy(s) with the pistol! Cooper stresses mindset and practicality in his shooting and is a wonderful recounteur as well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Rifleman (or a Riflewoman). Keeping the sport casual and fun is what it’s all about. As for me, I hope you decide to go to the next step and get into the sport all the way. The discipline it instills is good for the soul and the psych, and there is a camaraderie and fellowship that go with the sport that are their own rewards.

Now if anyone needs me – I’ll be stinking out the range with my marksmanship! See ya out there.




Tuesday, 18 July 2017

The Art Of Soeed: The Lost Files


What is that? An old school motorcycle with JATO?

BW - The Teen Years



I remember when BW was so poor that he could only afford one wheel and it was flat half the time. But over the years he invested his money in beer bottles and today he drives a top of the line scooter and invests all his money in scotch bottles.  ;)

The Revolt Has Begun



I'm seeing it everywhere. It used to be that every time some vibrant idiot or progtard got into it with a rational adult, they could shut them down by calling them racists/homophobes/sexists or some other politically incorrect label. That stopped working about a year ago and Donald Trump was elected in the States. Up here in Canada, the very liberal Turdo La Doo has cut the throat of his own party by celebrating diversity with a $10.5 million dollar pay out to a convicted terrorist - this, while the vets from that conflict battle with poverty and injuries suffered in that conflict. Everywhere progs and liberals are telling people to shut up or be called names - and getting slapped across the gob and told to shut it themselves.

EXHIBIT A

"The reason American Progressives endlessly talk about institutional racism, for example, is it is the only acceptable answer for why blacks perform so poorly compared to other groups. To consider anything else runs counter to accepted dogma."



Listen to that idiot. Funny how discriminating against stupidity and incompetence has become racist, inninit? Yannow I hated teachers as a kid and despise them even more as an adult. I have a brother in law in public teaching and he is representative of what's wrong with out teachers just as this black baboon is: the kids are smarter than they are and they know it. Somebody needs to sit down with these clucky women and explain to them that the kids have raised political issues, not racial ones. And - dear God - somebody needs to sit down with those kids and engage them.

Not even our kids are buying the multi-culti bullshit anymore. When I was a kid the message from minorities and women was this: "Give us a fair shot. We are as good as you and deserve a level playing field..."

Today the message is "We can't do as good as you because you discriminate against us and make us feel bad..." Now they want undeserved special treatment and expect us to overlook their honest shortcomings and problems. And the shaming doesn't work anymore. Our kids are demanding answers now. Pardon me, our grandkids. Or great-grandkids. The millennials are a bunch of snowflakes and fairies that can't think for themselves for a second ... but these kids have a clue by the look of it.

Interesting times await. Violence at this point is entirely probable. And avoidable.

Monday, 17 July 2017

From The Uncle Bob Files: Old Sex Ed Lesson Plans




Oh, GAH!!! Looks like Unca Bob was gonna
learn us all about everything we need to know about
the safe, healthy and beautiful alternative lifestyles...

A Great Weekend For An Old Fart



The older I get, the less focused I become. I recently ran out of four calibres of ammunition and was chained to the reloading bench for at leas a week - I still haven't caught up or replenished my stocks.  Of course, doing that depleted my formerly generous stocks of brass and gunpowder and primers so I just place a massive order with Higgy to stock up... $700.00. So - I can finally see the end of the tunnel on that.

Then I ran out of firewood.

You can't go camping without firewood! The problem was this - the people we camp with have a half section out in the boonies and we've been talking about going out there with the trucks, the chainsaw and the log splitter for weeks...but it never happened. They have more money than brains, IMHO; they buy firewood for $10.00 for a small armful of split, seasoned firewood. That kind of thing drives me crazy - pay for firewood? Are you friggin stupid?



By the same token they think we're crazy for wanting to waste a perfectly good weekend cutting, splitting and stacking firewood. I quickly learned that actually going out to their half section to get firewood was something they only wanted to talk about. Fair enough - it's their land and their time I suppose.

We went over to Peter The Great's instead. Pete has 20 acres and a horse paddy full of deadfall and blown over trees. Pete is a big Polish guy and as everyone knows - Polacks are close cousins of the Bohunk - genetically inferior subhumans that are addicted to rude practical jokes and hard physical labour. Yesterday the wife and I sweated like pigs in the hot humid heat as we pulled logs from the brush and stacked them on the wagon behind Pete's tractor. Pete himself cut the wood and dug in and did the work of two guys himself.

My work truck has one of those tailgates with the built in step and hand hold. I had never used it before and when we figured out how it worked - the guys all laughed and said it would be perfect for retards and geriatric old farts like me! I regarded it all with disgust ... but was mighty thankful for it this weekend. My back isn't what it was, and I am really out of shape.

In any event, I have about a half a chord of split firewood seasoning out in the wood shed, my back is on fire from the weekend... but I feel great. Yannow when this company finally DOES go broke and I get let go, I am going to get a real job doing some physical work.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Saturday Foolishness





I was seriously considering joining these upstanding Victorian riflemen this year. These guys literally bring relics and antique armaments back to life and shoot them for fun and amusement. For awhile I seriously considered a Martini Henry in .450/577 - a fearsome assault rifle in its day. Today's modern rifleman will watch this tomfoolery and laugh his arse off. Things don't even get serious for them until you start getting out past 600~700 yards... and even that is no problem for today's designated marksmen who regularly shoot out past 1000.

One is tempted to look sideways at grown men playing dress up - but for these guys it's like putting on a cowboy hat for the Calgary Stampede or the ladies dressing up in Klondike attire for Aaaaadmontin's K-Days. It's about fun - the kind of fun you had as a boy.

Alas. I have motorcycles, a raft of modern guns, dogs, motorcycles, and any number of other diversions preventing me from getting involved in this kind of foolishness. Once I retire - if they're still around, I may enlist in The Queens African Light Rifle Regiment and join my peers in displays of masterful marksmanship.

Friday, 14 July 2017

Saturday Cultural Performance Art


Bad Juju


I'm thinking this must be one of those abandoned black sites
where Nazis or rogue CIA ops
did fiendish genetic experiments on helpless patients.

Stop Watching The Damn Clock!








One Thing I've Noticed About Divorced People


Last night I went over to Mom and Dad's. Mom drives me crazy the way fat bitchy old grey haired ladies do with their fat cranky middle aged sons... but fortunately the old bint spent most of her time talking at the wife. Whatever - one day she'll be gone and I will probably miss the old bitch, HAR HAR HAR! No problem, I will see her again when I die and go to hell, so there's that!!!  :)  Mom yammered mostly at the wife while Pop and I smirked and rolled our eyes at her shenanigans and let the gas blow. At one point we got a status update on all the relatives and acquaintances.

When I was a kid our family was in tight with the Overshoes. Mr. and Mrs. Overshoe were always out camping with us, we were always over there on weekends and their kids were like close cousins of my brother and myself, if that makes sense. They had three kids and we all went our separate ways when we grew up. I learned that they are all divorced now. My brother is divorced. Out of all us 5 kids, only my wife and I have managed to stay together.

The gods must have a sense of humour; given my grizzily countenance, sordid disposition and pissy views of the universe I woulda thunk I wouldn't have gotten married at all and if I did, I woulda been the first one to get the punt from an angry ex-wife.

But it wasn't so. Pammy O who was the big sister I never had - is on her second husband. Pat O. is on his third wife. Together as kids we tortured and beat his little brother, Graham O, for fun and amusement - and he's single with a casual girlfriend. My brother's second marriage seemed to hold but I'm pretty sure he has a chip on his shoulder because of it. Apparently one or two of the various children and grandchildren of the O clan no longer speak with their parents either. "I can relate to that," I said, slipping a word in edgewise, "stuff like that gets complicated -" and my mother rudley shushed me into silence. (Good lord, I swear, when Pop is gone, I am going to choke that arrogant old bint... but then I suppose Big Bro will choke me so maybe I will behave myself. We'll see).

But this is where things get weird. Sure, out of 5 kids - Filthie is the only one to stay married. That is weird enough and can only be explained by the fact that God loves cowards, little girls and fools. But of all the kids, financially speaking - they're all doing much better than I am. (Mom made sure I knew that too, the nattering old boot!) I'm serious, they all live in palatial homes and one of 'em has vacation properties. My wife and I brag about the fact we have no bills or debts!

Near as I can figger it, this is the way it may work: divorced people go through the ringer whether they cash in on the divorce or not. The men, with no family - have all the time in the world to work and will happily do so because they have nothing to go home to. So, they work 80 hours a week and make twice what I do at 40 hours a week. The women cash in and get the house. When they re-marry, they usually wed to a man like the one I just described - and hit the jackpot again! So hell - maybe it all works out in the end for everyone? Or maybe I'm just full a chit, I dunno.

For me, I don't have to worry about my marriage unless my wife regains her sense of sight and smell, it's Friday, and I don't have to put up with my mother for another week or two! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Have a good Friday! And if anything awful happens to my mother - I didn't do it!!!

But you'd be correct to suspect it!!!   :)

Thursday, 13 July 2017

Vintage BARF




They Still Look Like Butt Blasters





It's been hotter n' blazes up here in Alberta and that leaves me wanting to cool off with a long motorcycle ride. Chances are after I get that beating from the Harley-loving elderly baby boomers - I will be riding bitch for awhile.

I am sure BW won't mind...HAR HAR HAR!!!

Not Metric Bikes





Fact is, ever since I started riding, the Japs have produced superior bikes to the Americans and no bones about it. Back in the day the best place to spot a Harley owner was in the breakdown lane as he tried to wrench his bike back to life.

QA/QC-wise, Harley finally sobered up and smelled the coffee. They are no longer producing the junkers they made back in the 70's and 80's and I say that knowing I could get beaten to a bloody green pulp for doing so - but the truth is what it is.

Today Harley is making top notch machines that will go head to head with the Japs and look better and sound better doing it...but that comes at a price premium. I personally live to ride, not look cool going to Tim Horton's or the bar on a motorcycle. The truth of that is what it is too.

Now if anyone needs me - I will be in the parking lot round back, getting the stuffing kicked out of me by angry, elderly baby boomers that won't take any guff off a Gen X punk with a ropey mouth!

Have a great Friday, and please let the ER guys know that I am A+!

This Week In Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Negligence




The Art Of Speed: The Lost Files


As the ultimate internet authority I am forced all the time to correct the incompetent and incomplete posts made by other internet celebs like Wirecutter, BW Bandy, Chicken Mom and others. None of them ever say 'thank you' either! In fact, most of them sullenly ignore my helpful suggestions altogether! Even when I crap in the comments leave helpful suggestions in the comment sections of their blogs.

CW over at the Daily Timewaster has been especially negligent of late, and I am forced to supplement his work with my own in the interests of completeness. Especially lacking of late are his posts about 'The Art Of Speed'. I will leave this one right here in hopes that he sees fit to include it in his later compilations.


How on earth did CW forget to make note of
The Great Coopville Tractor Race?
Sigh. The work of the polymath is never done.

The rest of you are admonished: Filthie is watching you very carefully and you will be taken to task for your errors and omissions!

That is all.

Your First Centrefire Pistol


Awhile back we all agreed your first centrefire rifle should be one of these - especially you Yanks that have more sensible gun control than we do up here in Canada.

The reason the military and law enforcement
go for these rifles and carbines is that 99% of their personnel will be able to
use them effectively. They are a good 'fit'.
Indeed - it's hard to go wrong with the AR15.

Which brings us to your first centrefire handgun. or pistol. Your first pistol should be a G- KAFFF! HACKAFFFFF! RETCH!!!!GAH!!!!

Sorry about that everyone! *Ahem* Your first handgun should be a Gl....ggggyaaaaaaaavchtcht!! Oh dear gawd - I need a drink! I see WL has passed out and foolishly left his gin unguarded - please excuse me for a sec.... glit glit glit glit glit....BEEEEEEEEECH! Glit glit glit....



Ahhhhhhhh.... what is this chit?


Now that I've steadied my nerves and fortified myself and washed the taste of chit out of my mouth... your first handgun should be a Glock. There - I said it!!! I know what you're thinking: "Filthie, you ass hat! None of the cool kids are shooting 9mm! Even a putz like you shoots .45...!" Fact is I own four .45's. Two 1911 45 ACP's, one HK USP .45 and a fine Ruger revolver that will shoot 45 Colt and .45ACP in full moon clips. But never mind all that - this is one of those do as I say and not what I do things. If you are just starting out, and you want to get off to a good start - buy the damned Glock. And yes, 9mm.


Yechchcht.
But - you can beat the hell out of these things and they'll work every time.
They are rightly famed for their reliability.

Contrary to the cool kids in the real world the 9mm is almost exactly the ballistic duplicate of the 45 ACP. I know the old hands will tell ya the .45 is better... and they're full of shit. Years ago some dude did a study of all firefights in the US and noted the calibres used in gun fights that ended in one-shot stops. The 45 and 9mm are almost exactly the same. Ballistics seldom match real world results.

While the Glock is uglier than Filthie's butt, it is robust and reliable as hell and offers superior capacity to the .45. That may be important in a fire fight. More important to stubfarts and gun club duffers like us though is that ammo is CHEAP. Furthermore, if you reload, most 9mm people don't pick up their brass so you can move in and hog it away and nobody will give a damn! Even cheaper ammo! And that in turn means more trigger time! And that is a huge advantage for this pistol. Something else to consider is that you can aftermarket the chit out of this gun the same way you can for an AR15!



Okay, maybe a little heavy on the bling - but Agency Arms
are doing wonderful things with Glock.
Now you have accuracy AND reliability.
This is possibly the most advanced pistol on the market today.


Like the AR the Glock can grow with you as your skills and preferences evolve. I am more a traditionalist and a purist, so I worship at the altar of St. Browning and St. Cooper and shoot God's calibre handguns. But, if I were headed into a firefight where my fat arse might hinge on the outcome? I would hope like hell the bad guys weren't shooting back with Glocks. I am strongly tempted by the Agency Arms rendition of the Glock... but I have too many damn guns already.

If you don't own a handgun - for cripe's sake, get in the game! You are missing out on a pile of fun in addition to compromising your state of readiness.

The Value Of Pistolcraft




A lawyer dodges bullets from an angry client
and unfortunately survives.
Expect more of this in the future.


I suppose I shouldn't laugh. Mentally ill people are not funny. But unfortunately I see more stuff like this on the way, and to be honest, the judiciary does more than it's fair share to bring it on themselves. They have become an institution about laws rather than justice.

Last week, at the behest of our prime minister, Turdo La Doo,  Omar Khadr was awarded $10.5 million dollars by the gov't in an out-of-court settlement. Ya see - back when Omar was only a little vibrant, he threw a hand grenade at some squaddies, killing one and blinding the other. He should have been shot and left for the crows on the battlefield ... but that's not how American squaddies roll. Pity.

I admit I am not too familiar with the case and I don't want to be - because I will say something that might get me in trouble with the pastey faced bedwetters that control the asylum up here in Canada. But apparently, when little Omar got shipped out to Gitmo he was a Canadian citizen and a child soldier... and for all the pain and suffering he put up with there - Justin Turdo figures this moslem POS deserves $10.5 million dollars because his rights were violated. Or something. That's our judiciary at work. That's our liberals at work. May God rot their balls.

In the vid above the perp is described as mentally unstable, disgruntled and of unsound mind. Yet he still had the book thrown at him in court - and I suspect the reason for that is that he went after a judicial apparatchik instead of lowly peons like you or I. If he had gone after one of us, I have no doubt the judge would have taken his mental state into consideration and probably have given him a slap on the wrist.


I regard myself as a law abiding man. I respect our courts and their mission, but I have nothing but contempt for the swine in charge of those institutions today. Some of our judges are nothing more than traitors and outright public enemies. I abide by the rule of law, but remind the Usual Suspects that I am a citizen of Alberta and not a subject of (hork, spit) - Canada. Abuse me at your peril.

Were I a Canadian judge I would have done my duty and protected the Canadian people in the Omar Khadr case. I would have had Omar deported on the next boatload of rotten cabbage to Afghanistan - along with his entire family. (It's a matter of public record - those shit heads raise funds for and support terrorist organizations but we can't prosecute them because racism... or something). Then I would have told the rest of those fig farming goat feltchers that the jig was up - and if they were going to bring their shit to MY country they will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law - and their stupid religion be damned.



That's about the size of it.



Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Toys




What is this thing? I dunno what I would do with such a monster...but...
I want it! Reminds me of my foolish childhood....




Sing along everyone!
"It went BEEP BEEP BEEP when it tracked, BUUZZZZ when it locked
and BOOM when the trigger was pulled
I never knew just what I killed
And I guess I never will!

Have a great Thursday! I'm here all week! Try the veal! No autographs!

Historical Land Mines


Being an out house historian of sorts, I have learned to approach some subjects with a certain degree of caution. Who shot JFK? All I can tell ya is that it wasn't whoever had that Carcano milsurp carbine that supposedly did the deed. And if the authorities are lying about that, God alone only knows what else they're lying about. 911? An inside job? All I know is that when those towers came down it looked like a controlled implosion to me. Even the firefighters on the scene were caught flat footed and were asking how they came down when they were designed to withstand even impacts like that. In the states, the brainless are tearing down civil war monuments because racism. Those who don't learn from history are bound to repeat it, and telling blacks that whitey bought most of his slaves from black Africans is a little detail they would like left out. Whatever - the truth will get sorted out in Civil War Two... at least for awhile. Stuff like that ain't worth worrying or fighting about unless you can win. You can end up arguing with idiots on such thing and never getting anywhere.

I once started to read a copy of 'Flyboys' penned by some liberal cretin that cast Americans as the villains of the war in the Pacific, picking on poor little Japan. Because racism. The author left out all the Japanese atrocities and war crimes of course - and I tried to throw it in the garbage. My wife dug it out and returned it to her father. That author did something remarkable, now that I look back on it: he insulted my intelligence. I don't care if people want to call me a Nazi; if I see work that stupid, untruthful, and slanderous I will burn the goddamn thing so that nobody else reads it! I believe there is such thing as decency, and in my home and in what I read I will enforce that code of decency if I feel it necessary.

But once in awhile I step on historical land mines that unleash a torrent of emotion that spans across generations, decades and even centuries.

This one is from Irish. This is a landmine of a completely different nature. Sometimes truth is explosive too.

Courage is timeless.

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

From CW's 'Art Of Speed' Files: Drive Train Edition

For some reason he forgot this one. Can't imagine why...



Today's Animal Abuse





Last weekend the wife and I camped out and at night, Mort came over to flop himself down between us and the campfire. A short time later M started gagging as Mort began to smolder and stink as his fur singed. He didn't even wake up! He gave me the fright of my life too - I gave him a stiff punt to make him wake up and get away from the fire - and he just laid there. I punted him again, harder... and he just rolled with the impact and laid there. I had a snootful of scotch and I began to think he was dead. I was shouting at him and shaking him before he finally roused and wondered what all the fuss was about!

He's getting shaggy and manky again so maybe I will have to send him to the barber above and get him done with a Bic.

Filthie Agricultural Consulting Services


Here is an example of the work I do as I help farmers streamline, optimize and modernize their ag operations. This one is for Chicken Mom and her hubby that I did:



That'll be $5000.00 please! Please pay promptly!!!

Too Many Pieces Missing




So it goes for parents and daughters too.

That pic is only half right. I get the message it is trying to convey; but it isn't right in that the father becomes less or is diminished while the son becomes more. They both become more complete and better people. With my daughter the more I gave - the more she threw away. Pieces of me went with her when she left.

If you ever find yourself in the same boat my advice is this: Patch yourself up first. It's the prime directive for even professional firefighters and rescue workers. Ya can't save or rescue others if you are a victim of the same circumstances.

Monday, 10 July 2017

BAAAAAAAARRRRRRFFFF...GAH! ULP...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRFFF!!!!


I should quit doing Tuesdays, man....gaaaaaahhhh!!!!

BAAAAARFFFF!!!!




BARF!






The Gun That Started WW1



GAH. Pocket pistols. Hork! Spit! I shot Mad Jack in the ass with one of those for a joke and when he found out about it he ran me down and beat me to a bloody green pulp! HAR HAR HAR!

I shouldn't joke, I suppose - these things ARE deadly at close range. Apparently the Archduke of Austria and his wife were cashiered by this gun. When I look at that little pistol, and the hell and fury it unleashed - I can almost see the liberal lefty calls for gun control. My granddad got pinned down and shot up in No Man's Land in WW1 and became a wounded war vet at the age of 17. Until his dying days he got pissy and sorrowful on Remembrance Day and almost lost his mud when they let shopping malls stay open for business during the 'holiday'.  Grampa was disgusted with me and my guns.

It makes me uncomfortable when I cross swords with vets. They've been in the chit, they or their friends have been hurt or killed there, and I completely understand and respect their scars that you can see and those you can't. But the moral high ground is what it is; our leaders HAVE to fear us, or at least respect us. Treaties, contracts and promises are just hot air - but cold steel and hot lead are real and will make everyone at least try to be honest.

Plywood Bullets: A Belated Wind In The Wires





I often wondered why these GeeBees looked so fat. The answer I found was that they use the same radial engine as the B17 bomber did - and those engines were cheap and available as military surplus when the designers sat down to plan this bird.

Today the old round engines are beloved antiques, and rich aviation purists will pay through the nose to have parts and replacements made from scratch. Their prices would make an billionaire retch.

Human Nature Trumps Everything





Had I been around when nations started going off the gold standard - I would have opposed that with a baseball bat! Fiat currencies are based on trust, and as everyone knows, from the dawn of time - you can't trust the average human animal farther than you can throw him. And of course now we are seeing the value of our money being inflated away, and our investments and accounts as nothing more than unsecured loans to the bank or gubbiment.

This guy mocks the Aussie gubbiment because the crooks involved are trying to equate hoarding with saving. You preppers out there might want to take note - your stashes of beer, popcorn and ammo will be viewed the same way by the authorities if the SHTF - and it seems that is entirely possible these days.

I buy a bit of silver now and then for investment purposes. I won't invest in bitcoin because I don't know enough about it to trust it.

I think it was Borepatch or one of the other bloggers that observed the phenomenon awhile back: back in the fifties creepy Marxist beardoes and weirdoes were bragging about how they would march through the halls of power and control in the nation and take over: first they would subvert the universities and colleges. Then they would infest the media and press, then the courtroom and so on. Who woulda thunk the would even get into our bedrooms?

But this is where the comedy begins. Whenever they take over an organization - it effectively stops working and falls to pieces. These universities that are pumping out gender grievance morons with degrees in kitten studies are a case in point: would you hire one of their grads? The New York Times can't sell a newspaper anymore. Donald Trump is torturing CNN to death. Our courts do law, not justice. All to often justice is done on the street, or better yet, right at the scene of the crime. Nobody can get married anymore and a quarter of our women are on antidepressants thanks to leftist 'family values'. 

When these guys topple the banks and economy - and it looks like they are going to - most of them will end up hanging from the lamp posts or they'll be driven into hiding. But in the meantime the black markets will set up, bartering will become the preferred form of commerce and one way or another - that swamp will be drained. Folks'll get by too.

My thinking is that people need to do business and they need to trust in order to do it. If you start using a fiat currency against them to take advantage of them - they will stop dealing with you and your currency will be used for TP in short order.

I dunno what the answer is.- but I don't think Bitcoin is.

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Sunday Arts N' Entertain-MINT: The Pianists Part La Doo




A sewer boot solo by Hard Hat Mack!




This urine soaked bum tickles the ivories next.
Screw it. If all I got in my wallet is a 20, this bum can have it!



And because I'm Canadian and therefore obligated by law
to admit frogs fwenchmen are people too -
there's something good about everyone - even
cheese eating surrender monkeys!
Let 'er rip, Henri!


I've often thought of going pro as a musician, what with my talents with the gazoo, the bicycle pump and the intestinal explodaphone... but I yam a polymath and destined for bigger and better things. Becoming a professional musician would be like winning the special Olympics - a bit of a slam-dunk for a fella like me. I will leave it to these fellas to explain how easy the whole process of pop music is done - and turn my formidable intellect to bigger and better things.



Four chords! It's easy, all ya need is an instrument and a good set of pipes!
That fat kid is almost as good with a gazoo as I am!

Still HAR HAR HARing



How I envy you Yanks. I just heard that Trump put out a tweet calling our Prime Minister, Turdo La Doo - a moron because he gave a convicted terrorist something like $10 million in some asinine lawsuit or other. I won't even look into the details of that because I will say something that will get me in trouble. All I can say is that if Trump called Justin Trudeau a moron - he was entirely right to do so. That little maggot has shot his face off at other statesmen and it's good to see someone give him a taste of his own medicine.

Then there was that CNN thing. That beshitted news network has been insulting my intelligence for decades now. It finally got so bad I just couldn't watch it anymore without wanting to shoot the TV set. When that meme war broke out I thought it was incredibly lame but again - it was really nice to see those liberal assholes lose their chit over it.

However - Vox Day wins the internet with this meme:


HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!

I suppose as a Christian of sorts I should be offended by that but the toad with the halo? HAR HAR HAR!!!! Schadenfreude is probably a sin too, come to think of it. But yannow - given the asshattery coming out of the Vatican these days, I would be more inclinded to trust Pepe to be God's representative than that meat head that currently has the job.

There is one god but Pepe.
And Trump is his prophet!
HAR HAR HAR!!!!

Have a great Sunday and thanks for dropping in!

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Gone Fishin'




No, that isn't Mort, and no, I've not gone fishin'.
Just out to the rod n' gun club for a shoot, a campfire and maybe a drink or 20.