Friday, 14 July 2017
One Thing I've Noticed About Divorced People
Last night I went over to Mom and Dad's. Mom drives me crazy the way fat bitchy old grey haired ladies do with their fat cranky middle aged sons... but fortunately the old bint spent most of her time talking at the wife. Whatever - one day she'll be gone and I will probably miss the old bitch, HAR HAR HAR! No problem, I will see her again when I die and go to hell, so there's that!!! :) Mom yammered mostly at the wife while Pop and I smirked and rolled our eyes at her shenanigans and let the gas blow. At one point we got a status update on all the relatives and acquaintances.
When I was a kid our family was in tight with the Overshoes. Mr. and Mrs. Overshoe were always out camping with us, we were always over there on weekends and their kids were like close cousins of my brother and myself, if that makes sense. They had three kids and we all went our separate ways when we grew up. I learned that they are all divorced now. My brother is divorced. Out of all us 5 kids, only my wife and I have managed to stay together.
The gods must have a sense of humour; given my grizzily countenance, sordid disposition and pissy views of the universe I woulda thunk I wouldn't have gotten married at all and if I did, I woulda been the first one to get the punt from an angry ex-wife.
But it wasn't so. Pammy O who was the big sister I never had - is on her second husband. Pat O. is on his third wife. Together as kids we tortured and beat his little brother, Graham O, for fun and amusement - and he's single with a casual girlfriend. My brother's second marriage seemed to hold but I'm pretty sure he has a chip on his shoulder because of it. Apparently one or two of the various children and grandchildren of the O clan no longer speak with their parents either. "I can relate to that," I said, slipping a word in edgewise, "stuff like that gets complicated -" and my mother rudley shushed me into silence. (Good lord, I swear, when Pop is gone, I am going to choke that arrogant old bint... but then I suppose Big Bro will choke me so maybe I will behave myself. We'll see).
But this is where things get weird. Sure, out of 5 kids - Filthie is the only one to stay married. That is weird enough and can only be explained by the fact that God loves cowards, little girls and fools. But of all the kids, financially speaking - they're all doing much better than I am. (Mom made sure I knew that too, the nattering old boot!) I'm serious, they all live in palatial homes and one of 'em has vacation properties. My wife and I brag about the fact we have no bills or debts!
Near as I can figger it, this is the way it may work: divorced people go through the ringer whether they cash in on the divorce or not. The men, with no family - have all the time in the world to work and will happily do so because they have nothing to go home to. So, they work 80 hours a week and make twice what I do at 40 hours a week. The women cash in and get the house. When they re-marry, they usually wed to a man like the one I just described - and hit the jackpot again! So hell - maybe it all works out in the end for everyone? Or maybe I'm just full a chit, I dunno.
For me, I don't have to worry about my marriage unless my wife regains her sense of sight and smell, it's Friday, and I don't have to put up with my mother for another week or two! HAR HAR HAR!!!
Have a good Friday! And if anything awful happens to my mother - I didn't do it!!!
But you'd be correct to suspect it!!! :)