Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Calmly Sizing You Up...




When I was a kid there was no such things as dangerous breeds of dogs. A couple of friends had pit bulls and they became members of our gang just like the other kids did. And of course we beat the tar out of them and teased them and SHOULD have been bitten a hundred times - but they always forgave us when we had food and they ate all the same garbage we did too.

Brent had a big Doberman called Zeus and our favourite game was to let him out the front door - and then chase him down. Brent was a jock athlete as were most of his friends and they would take to that dog's heels and run forever. When we caught him we would gather round in a circle and curb stomp him the way Tony Soprano or the Goodfellas did to their rivals - and he would just soak up the shots and grunt with the impact and smile the way dogs do.

One day he led them on a merry chase and came round a corner with the hairless monkeys baying at his heels - and ran into me between two houses. To get away from the kids, he had to get past me. You could see the gears turning in his head as he sized up his options - and then took a run at me.

I tackled him as he flew past, we crashed to the ground - and then all the kids gathered round and I got curb stomped along with Zeus. I actually ran into Brent about 5 years back. He had a wife and kid and was suffering from some kind of premature cancer. He had some crappy job with The County but he was doing alright. We talked about Zeus and smirked to remember his good nature.

Folks, when some idiot starts yammering about 'dangerous dog breeds' do everyone a favour and kick him in the nads. There are no such things as dangerous breeds - only dangerous humans.

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