Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

No, That's Not Me...

… but you'd be correct to suspect it.

This getting-old-thing blows.

Sometimes I still forget that I'm a stupid old fart. Couple weekends ago I bought a 48 pack of beer... and it's been riding around in my truck ever since. Why, when I was a kid, I would a slammed half of it down in one go, and then pished in Quartermain's face from three counties away! And that in a strong head wind too! Then I'd puke all over my girlfriend's shoes, your shoes, your girlfriend's shoes, her friend's shoes - and still have enough left over for the hedge!

But today if I drink more than 5 my weekend is pooched. I just started a new job this year so I won't get any vacation time - so I bought myself some cigars for my summer blow out instead. I have to be careful with that because I quit smoking 9 years ago and I figured I'd get hooked again if I smoked too many. Fat chance of that; I smoked a tin of 10 and finished them off the other day... and I am happy to go back on the wagon, thanks. My lungs won't take much of that either.

Oh well, it's not like I don't have better things to do with my money.


  1. Oh I'll take getting old over the alternative.

    1. HAR HAR HAR! Methinks you have the right of it!