Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

Poetry Corner: I Am A Man Of Scholarly And Literary Pursuits


Stop that laughing, damn you all!!! I will NOT tolerate any disputation of my cultural and literary authority!

Bastids.

Harumpfffff!!! Now - before I was so RUDELY interrupted - I used to read voraciously. That was back in the days before the invention of 71 genders, cultural fascism, and copycat, paint-by-number derivative plots n' themes featuring bland, unlikeable affirmative action heroes and villains. Most of my reading was schlock paperback thrillers, sci-fi and the odd chit house horror novels. You could still get original stuff in those days, before the industry was taken over by vinegar drinking cat ladies and whored out to commies and lesbians. I read a few classics here and there too - and am taking recommendations on those in the comments if you're so inclined. Thanks in advance for your kindness and consideration.

There are two areas of literature that have yet left my soul parched and dry: the short story, and poetry.

Short stories for me have been hit and miss - with far, far more misses than hits. In fairness that is the hardest genre to write. I have seen maybe a half dozen stories that reached out and kicked me in the head the way their authors intended. I haven't read one author that can do that with any sort of regularity - until a couple months ago. Jess can do it easily. He can just conjure up characters that are people that I've known all my life and love - yet haven't met yet (if that makes any sense). I present, for your enjoyment and delectation, the spectacular Columbo. As a boy growing up shooting at small game I learned the shame of poor marksmanship and needless suffering on little critters. If I blew a shot I moved heaven and earth to finish the job and put critters out of their pain. I did it without thinking about it; and after reading that story... maybe it is something I should have thought more about. I hope Jess keeps writing. It's worth your time.

Poetry in this country is currently a foppish chit show featuring illiterate cretins and poseurs like yours truly that seriously have no talent at all. Most of it is an utter waste of time. My eyes glaze over at the reams of doggerel spewing from the phoney finks and faggots putting on the airs of the artist. And somehow, a quiet blogger like TB can blow them all out of the water with only three lines. Who'da thunk it? A Scottish warrior poet, dispensing with his competition wielding line and verse with the precision of a Samurai katana?

Of course I cannot let these gentlemen walk away with their vast talent unchallenged. I submit, for your consideration, a thought provoking and introspective poem of my own that I am sure you'll all enjoy. It has it's roots in the history of my ancestors - also noble Scots. Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your undivided attention!  *Ahem*

SUNNY HAS THE SHITS AGAIN

Sunny has the shits again
Ah cannae use the cludgie

He's perched upon the toilet seat - 
half man, half giant budgie

Ah told ya, Sunny,
Ya shouldnae huv the lukewarm Tandoori mince;
So finish

Before Ah kark mah breeks
And give the toilet bowl a rinse.



Wasn't that beautiful? Eh? Eh??? Okay I admit it! I stole that but can't remember where I got it! If the owner of that fine piece should ever happen across these pages, I will gladly give full credit where credit is due. Thank you, whoever you are, for a good belly laugh.

I hear that World Famous Explorer, Adventurer And Man About Town - WL Emery - has a new book out too. I have to set up the new iPad with kindle or whatever it is so I can buy it and read that too. 

If any of you have an artistic steak in you - The Thunderbox is always at your service.

Have a good Thursday.

4 comments:

  1. my limited experience says that mark twain and rudyard kipling are the best--short or long stories.
    modern poetry that i've seen is crap.
    my favorites are langston hughes and jon donne.
    if you read milton, read his biography first--very anti catholic which informs his writing.
    resad a book of lytton strachey's poems in junioor high and liked it, but that was long ago.
    tennyson is my daughter's favorite.
    i read so much when i was young but cannot remember mot of it.
    beatrix potter, edith nesbitt, george macdonald's children's books.
    the white stag, written by an hungarian author and her other kids' books, whoever wrote the little white horse and her other kids' books, cannot remember the authors. not mens' books but good. these authors also wrote for adults.
    for the short stories i go with kipling and twain.
    in her early carreer louisa may alcott wrote shorts.
    american poetry the strange lady from amherst--bele of amherst, - who hated cats is decent reading.
    also i loved hiawatha- by the shores of gitchee goumi- and the author's other poems.

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  2. Since Mark Twain was my great grandfather's first cousin, I am an authority on just about everything so what you need to do is go to http://www.gutenberg.org/ where you will find all of the old good stuff and it is free. You will find a world of books when common sense prevailed, try this book first, I found it thrilling and learned a lot about how they killed rats back in the good old days: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/17243 It is a very interesting book that would never be sold today because today there is probably a rat lives matter movement. Interesting that these groups are all called movements. Anyway there are hours of reading for free at this site, some of it is nasty porn from the 1700s so be careful to stay away from that stuff as sometimes titles are misleading.

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  3. there was porn in those days? gosh!

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  4. I enjoy T.S. Eliot. One of my favorites is Mr. Eliot’s Sunday Morning Service, which describes the Sunday Morning Circus and concludes:

    Sweeney shifts from ham to ham
    Stirring the water in his bath.
    The masters of the subtle schools
    Are controversial, polymath.

    Sweeney, like Fred Reed's Uncle Hant, is a literary device. But that doesn't make either one any less enjoyable or erroneous in their views.

    I hope to publish my next book in 60 days. Writing is a little tough these days, but today I'm doing a bit better.

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