Friday, 5 October 2018
An Antenna Farm
Filthie's Theorem states that ya can't put something into something else and get more out than what ya put in. I developed that ground breaking observation back in an electronics lab in my school days. We had those idiot 'bread box' circuit boards and learnt ya everything ya needed to know about electronics by building elementary circuits. I did alright up until we graduated from switches and resistors to capacitors and coils. JFC - then we started adding in diodes, op amps, and black box black magic that I can't even pretend to understand now.
One day I put together an awful circuit that when ya applied a voltage to it, you got more out than was going in. Our instructor was a ghastly little man we all called Fur Bag. The fella ran around with pocket protectors, flood pants and all the rest of the nerdish attire - and he hated us all with a passion and made no secret about it.
So Ol' Furbag comes over to investigate. "Hell's bells Filthie - did you get a retard to wire this up for ya? It looks like a friggin antenna farm!" I told him to shut his gob because I had just invented free electricity and my intellect was right up there with Einstein. So we put the voltage on it, and sure enough, more was coming out than was going in. "I don't believe this," Furbag muttered. So he put his glasses up on his greasy head, and leans in close to take a better look at what I had done - and one of the capacitors exploded right under his nose and scared the chit right out of him.
"Way to go, Furbag," I raged, "Ya just destroyed mankinds's only chance at free, clean energy!"
I suppose it's just as well. If I had gone public with my discovery, I would have been hunted down and kilt by the eeeeeevil Joooos that run the world, and they would have patented my discovery for themselves. Or some filthy sand rat from OPEC would have blown me up to save their evil oil cartels.
Sometimes bad things end up being good things - maybe I should copyright that astute observation before somebody else does.
Have a good Friday and thanks for stopping by.