Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

An Open Letter To President Trump: A Clear And Present Danger


Dr. G. Filthie
Minister Of Unsavoury External Foreign Affairs
Foreign Enemies Division


Donald A. Trump
United States Of America

Dear Mr. Trump,

As you've already heard from your own internal security experts,me and my compatriots can rain death, destruction and mayhem on any citizen of the United States, at any time. If you have any doubts of our intent and ability - may I refer you to the pic enclosed below:

Doesn't that make your blood run cold, you American pig-dogs!?!?
Bet yer sorry you gave Justine Turdo a wedgie
during the NAFTA talks, eh...?

That, if your technical and security experts don't already know - is the beginnings of a long range drone station. Other components are inbound as we speak. Once assembled, I will be able to bombard you or any other American I choose with a rotten egg, wadded up used Depends diapers - and possibly even genetically altered killer gerbils. Mock me at your peril.

The attacks will begin in one month unless the following demands are met:
  • The Dallas Cowgirls must be turned over to me in chains and skimpy outfits
  • One Heart Attack Grille must be opened and operated in Aaaadmontim Alberta at US expense for at least 5 years
  • Canadian participation (i.e. 'mine') - in the firing squads convened for Bill and Hillary Clinton, Maxine Waters and any other worthy democrat a-holes. Canadian versions to be added at my discretion.
The clock is ticking.

Have a great Thursday, eh!


Dr. G Filthie


  1. If you're looking for volunteers for the firing squad, let me be among the first to assure that:
    1. I can hit stuff at 25 feet
    2. I'll bring my own gun and ammo
    3. I'll pay my own travel expenses, including the celebratory breakfast right after the main event

    No need to thank me.

  2. 1. No Dallas Cowgirls. That's Presidential only, bud!
    2. Sure thing! We get to keep the profits, right?
    3. Well... We'll see. The current plan is to raffle off the positions. That could seriously lower the US debt!