Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 20 January 2019

Just Add Tears



Sometimes I wonder about the idea of markers and memorials. When I am called Home it will be good enough for me to leave my heart to the winds and my soul to my Maker. Monuments - to me, at least, seem to focus and intensify grief, whereas memory softens and diffuses it.

But what do I know.

Quantifying The Soul


Does a soul have mass? Does a soul have dimension? Or properties that can be measured the way mass and energy can?
Can it manifest itself in terms of one, or the other, or both?

Monday Morning Coffee Symposium

When I was a kid I had a part time job in a warehouse with a great but sullen prick of a boss. First day on the job I said "Good morning Henry!"

"Gawdammit" he replied. And into his office he went to do whatever it was he did. Warehouse work isn't particularly challenging so I did alright. I did my thing, he did his. The next morning... same thing again: Good morning Henry! Gawdammit!!!

It went on for a week like that and at first I got mad about it. The odd thing was that there was no malice in it. Soon I was curious and that was even worse! I couldn't take it any more and one morning I followed him into his office and closed the door behind me. "Do we have a problem Henry?" I asked. "Would it kill ya to say 'good morning' back to me? Or have I pished in your cornflakes somehow...?"

The wretched little man smirked and said "It may be a good morning for you - but for me, any day at work is a waste of my day! I say gawdammit because I wish I wasn't here!" And with that he LOLLED and I HAR HAR HARed. The next morning I saw him, I said a cheerful "Gawdammit Henry!" and he just nodded and smirked..

Today's guest speaker is gonna learn ya everything ya need to know about starting the week off right! With a good cup of coffee!



Gawddammit everyone - and have a good Monday!

Just Spit Ballin' Here



It's all the rage now in Hollywood to change the race and gender of the leading characters of much loved classics. The comic books are the worst. All my childhood superheroes are now queers, or women, or coloured. Now - I don't buy many comic books anymore but it still pisses me off to see the touchstones of my childhood getting vandalized this way. When I gripe about it, some pastey faced millennial she-twink with face jewelry and pink hair will tell me I'm a fat old bigot and a hater, or they'll tell me to FOAD.

Maybe it's time to turn this around on you Gen Y snowflakes and sexual freakshows?




HAR HAR HAR!!! Take that, you little shits!
What's the matter, kids? We have to be inclusive and diverse with our entertainMINT
Dontchyaknow!!!


Okay! Alright already!!! I'm sorry everyone - that is enough bigotry for today. I don't think my wife or Maker would be all that impressed with my sense of humour this Sunday either.




Pakies On Parade


Get in line, ladies!



The Collapse Of The Story Teller's Circle

I dunno if it's just age, or a case of familiarity breeding contempt. But I can't seem to catch a break when it comes to critically acclaimed arts n' literature. I'm not kiddin' ya - I had a go at the short story thing and even the crap I wrote is better than the shite plopping onto the bookshelves from the big publishing houses. The movies are all pozzed to hell too - I cannot imagine forking out good money to go see that crap. What is it for a movie now? 30 bucks? More if ya buy a tub of popcorn and a coke? The big thing now for our inspired literary class is remaking the remakes but having perverts and lifestyle degenerates in the leading roles.

Pass.

Do you remember the trance of the story teller? Back in Ye Good Olde Dayse you could have the bank foreclose on your house, your dog die, and be diagnosed with terminal cancer - and forget it all under the spell of the storyteller. I have not been so entranced for at least 15 or 20 years. I'd love to be lost in a story again. The masters of storytelling set your mind free to fill in blanks, flesh out details, and they seem to deliberately leave this kind of stuff to the listener. Today's parodies try to control the plots and themes and refuse to let a listener enjoy the theme - assuming they have one in the first place! Why, I'd give my left nut to have the real story tellers back!




The Old NFO writ this one,
and it comes recommended by world famous adventurer
hunter, and man-about-town: WL Emery.
I think some of the other retards and gunnies are
speaking well of it too.
We shall see.

I bought it off Amazon for a couple bucks. It's not a Noo Yawk Times best seller, or a Nebula Award Winner - so it has that going for it - at least as far as I know. Just as the Filthy Critic (no relation)posts scathing movie reviews - I shall do the same with the Rogue Storytellers. Old NFO has earned the right to be my next potential victim. (WL was my first and he survived only by the skin of his teeth!!!)

I'm a couple pages into this one and it's alright so far and looks promising enough. Think there might be a prequel or a back story that I missed so that might be on me and not the author. That's where you separate the men from the boys. You can jump in at any point in a good story and be entertained. I'm sure the Old NFO will lose sleep at night worrying about my coming critique - but that is part of the curse of the storyteller. Rest assured, no good deed will go unpunished around here!

Have a great Sunday.

Saturday, 19 January 2019

Aesop Is SO Dead Now...! Death From Above!!!!!




Stolen from Wirecutter! How did I miss this??? I'm
gonna do this to Aesop!

I'm going to go after him when he's out duck hunting with
The Pastor. Betchya I can get 'em to shoot each other...!!!
HAR HAR HAR!!!

Actually, no I'm not. Regrettably.

This is a truly nasty piece of crapcopter mayhem. To make sport of people that are actually mentally retarded is... unsporting. Like shooting fish in a bucket, really. Far more fun (and fair) to taunt and torment those that are deliberately stupid - like Aesop and The Bayou Renaissance Man! HAR HAR HAR!

There is a lot going on here that they don't see - which leads them to say stupid things like drones can be flown down the gullet of roaring jet engines, carry explosive payloads, kill thousands or millions with bioweapons, etc etc etc. As I've tried to explain to these guys repeatedly - if these toys were viable weapons... WE would use them! There is a reason Uncle Sam spends billions on his drone programs, and while Abdul the goat humping terrorist uses IED's for his mayhem. There's just better ways to kill people.

Behold this spectacle: perfectly calm winds. The drone is perfectly tuned and locked in - I suspect the pilot is pushing his exponentials on the radio to the hilt, and his PID's right on the money. And the pilot! This guy is poetry in motion, not some dumb ass kid with a toy! Notice the way he dances around the lady, not even coming close to her or any of the obstacles on the street. The only guys with situational awareness (the ability to orient oneself in an imaginary 3D space) like that - are fighter pilots and crack drone pilots. Those things have no peripheral view in tight quarters like that. The pilot has the reflexes of a cat, and is probably a local resident that lives on the street.

Watching such a pilot, one might get the idea that these thing could do massively dreadful things. But the real world and physics intercede: to lift heavy payloads, you need heavy aircraft. To fly precision drones, you need a gifted pilot who knows how to set up and tune the drone. 

Don't let the retards get to you, young lady! Next time you are assaulted by a pestilent drone, make short work of it with the garden hose. I guarantee you that after losing a $400.00 drone, the pilot will never mess with you again.

The rest of you: please note that while it is open season on retards - those crossed by the stars and Emissaries Of God are strictly off limits. They have their hands full without arseholes like us picking on them. Have a great Saturday - and be nice to someone that needs it.

Friday, 18 January 2019

Oh Bloody Hell

I wonder who's responsible for this?

Pete? Quartermain? Somebody pulled a fast one on poor ol' Mad Jack here at Uncle Bob's Boarding School For Retards N' Wayward boys. They switched a bottle of his usual cheap bourbon for a bottle of high octane energy swill - and now Jack is stuck to the ceiling like a wad of bubble gum on a urinal mint!


Found at the scene of the crime.
In his haste, instead of pounding back a fifth of rotgut,
he slammed liquid adrenaline instead!

The boys tried to scrape him off with spatulas and putty knives - but he is up there good! At this point we are pretty much left with soaking him in bourbon and letting nature take its course. We'll have him down an eating tide pods with the rest of us - all in good time.

So what about the rest of you? Why are you lollygagging round here? Get off to your classes - and be snappy about it or else! And - no tide pods!!! Those are for lunch!!!

BBQ Knives

One a the kids on the long rifle forum wanted to buy his 'ultimate hunting knife' and foolishly turned the topic over to the stubfarts of the forum. Knife posts always generate all kinds of conversation and controversy and this one was no exception. The boys waded into that knife fight with the usual gusto - half of 'em proudly displaying expensive customs and semi-custom blades.


Skinbag waded in with this one. There is no doubt that
blade would be a joy to use...but it is uglier n' chit to look at - just like
its owner, HAR HAR HAR!

I got in this same dog fight with a popular and opinionated gun bloggeress that has an exceedingly sharp tongue that is controlled by an utterly dull mind. She knows her guns, but like many women, she feels that expertise transfers over to everything else in life too. She proved that she knew chit from shinola one day when she started yammering about idiots buying blades made of 440C stainless. When I waxed poetic about the wonders of that alloy (it's cheap, it holds an edge reasonably well, and sharpens up the same way) - and she turned her ropey mouth on me and gave me the very hell of it! HAR HAR HAR! You won't win an argument with an idiot, or a fishwife - or a sportsman! (I wonder why that is?) Now that I think of it, that dunce is out to lunch on guns too! HAR HAR HAR!!!


NOW we're talking! A simple, elegant drop point. I'd go for a smidge shorter blade myself.

These days there is absolutely no real need whatsoever for expensive customs. That is just the simple reality of it. Good steel is abundant and cheap. 440C isn't perfect, and the real true blue knife whore will talk till he's blue in the face about alloys and properties and exotic materials. If you are going to listen to whores, they are the ones to lend your ear to - not the gun whores! :) Those guys obsess over metals. Custom knifemaking is part science and part art! For me - I am good with one of the mass produced knives. They will do anything I need done - but I get the itch for a custom on occasion too.


Perfect! A blade like that will work like a hot damn
on every critter that walks in North America.

One of the best knife rants came from one of the older longriflemen. His wife had just spent a small fortune on a custom for him as an anniversary gift. But for the last 30 years he has been using an El Cheapo Schrade that he bought from Ukranian Tire back in the Plasterscene Era. A couple of my hunting buddies had the same blade when we were kids, they cost about $30.00 back then. Anyhoo, he took both blades along on his last deer hunt.


A few a the boys posed their blades in hero photos.


So he lucks out and tags out at the end of the day, dresses the animal out with the old Schrade and heads home in the dark. The next day he unpacks all his gear - and the Schrade is gone. Our boy goes into a meltdown. He talks about how the blade matches perfectly to the curve of his hip, probably from too many falls and stumbles out in the woods. He talks about some of the hunts he's had with that blade and finally just loses it! He hops in the truck, drives three hours back to his hunting spot, and checks around where he parked. No luck. So he hikes in to where he dressed the animal and finds the Schrade in the snow. He figures that if he took into account the cost of gas and his time, he had more money into the Schrade than he did with the custom! HAR HAR HAR! When he got back home, all was well with the world again.

I totally get that and would have done the same myself. I suppose at the end of the day the best knife for you - is the one you have. Have you checked it lately? Now might be a good time to strop it and maybe oil it.

Have a great Friday.

Thursday, 17 January 2019

The Filthie Activist: Old Man Shouts At Clouds

Back when the hormonal harpies in my family decided that gender was an artificial construct, and that my daughter could define it anyway she wanted and I could not - I fought it. I thought that if I could just make a reasoned argument - that would be that. Age and maturity finally caught up with me and I realized that reason meant nothing to them, and wouldn't be allowed in their decision process. And - if their men knew what was good for them - they wouldn't allow it either. Long story short, we parted ways. They were, in a word - shitlibs. We made each other unhappy so I just walked away. But before I did - I let everyone of them know what I thought of them. They were shocked and horrified too - good heavens! Men aren't supposed to talk to women like that!!!! And yet, the women in those families had been talking to their men "like that" for ages.

When my father in law got hen pecked he'd get that look in his eye like an abused dog - that one where they seriously think of snapping back, tearing the throat out of their tormentors and suffering the consequences regardless. In the last civil discussion we had around the campfire, he let it slip that he wished he'd divorced his wife and walked away back in the 70's. He was the product of a dysfunctional family too. There were other complications too, there always are. When my mom started popping off, Pop just turned her off. You could see it - It wasn't worth fighting with her and he could ignore her. Us kids though, could not.

It wasn't till I was free and away though, that I realize how utterly awful the women in my family were. One other thing I noticed about them was that nothing was ever their own fault. They treated their men like shit too and the men all took the attitude that it was their duty to put up with it - and mine too. All it did was seem to make things worse.

Couple days ago Gillette did their thing on toxic masculinity and enraged the men that bought their products. I held out on it, just to see what else shook out of the brouhaha. I learned that Proctor and Gamble was the parent corporation and that I should boycott their products too. I learned that the organization is very vibrant and diverse at the boardroom level. One of the vibrant affirmative action execs assembled xer team together and announced that no white males under her would ever be promoted again while she was in charge. She was commended for it and applauded.

I have a Gillette 5 blade that I use when I need to shave quick and close and fast. When my wife bought it, she also bought me a year or two worth of cartridges for it. I am not going to throw it away - but when that last blade cartridge goes - that thing is getting cut into pieces and quietly thrown in the trash. There is no reasoning with people that think like this. It may be a waste of breath - but the reason I am doing that isn't because I hate women - it's because I hate liberal women, The ladies at our church don't act like this. When I shave - I want to shave and start my day. I don't want my nose rubbed in liberal femcunt politics.

Now might be a good time to drop in on CW and see his various recommendations for The Shave Of The Day. That is my protest done. Nobody will notice... but I will.

Wednesday, 16 January 2019

The World Belongs To Them Now

I am half arsed looking for a new tent. I don't want a big outfitter... but those little teepee tents with wood stoves sure look tempting. I went on the rod n' gun forum to ask the boys what they know about them and they all stepped up with what they thought was best. I haven't slept in a tent in close to a decade now.




The kid that posted this one told me to forget about teepees, he camps above the treeline when he is out after rams and a regular 4 season tent will do just fine. His blood still runs hot, and a 40 lb. pack and a heavy long range sheep gun are a piece of cake for him. It struck me again that the days of being able to do stuff like that myself are gone for good.



One a the kids recommends this one for me.


The younger men on the sportsman's forum treat me like a stupid old man now and regularly have to slow down and bring me up to speed on stuff. Often they talk about stuff and I have no clue what they're on about. But they are sportsmen, God bless them - and they slow down for me the same way I slow down for my elders.


What's this? Stubfart heaven?

It's a difficult place to be sometimes. To old to keep up with the youngsters and still young enough to have cabin fever. Gawd, I need to get out - to get away.


To the kid that posted this, it's just a regular old hunting pic.
To this old fart - it was an act of kindness.


The world moves on and I am content to be left behind for the most part. Until the talk turns to stuff like this. A fart sack, a flask, and a fire crackling in the stove... yep, it's time to get out. Time to be part of the real world - at least for awhile.

Hope y'all had a good Hump Day.

No Thanks



Fellas, other than as carry guns, alloy guns are a bad idea. Sure, some can be made to shoot like a house on fire - but they won't hold up to prolonged use of heavy loads and their service lives are shorter than steel guns. My first serious centrefire pistol was an alloy gun and I nearly cried when it finally croaked. This gun is fine for pocket carry or the tackle box... but for serious target work... steel is your best bet.

Just One Of The Girls



Good lord. Every time this fwench flit gets in front of a camera, he embarrasses the nation. I live here - and I can't take this clown seriously. The next election can't come soon enough...

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

Filthie's Speakeasy: Ah Gots Da Dishwasher Blues...



I can see where a solution like that'd solve a whole bunch a
problems round the house!
HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Well we just got a call from the Canada Labour Board that this is not the way to solve our dish washing problems here at the nightclub. Screw 'em - we have other solutions!


Then some fink from health and safety told me this wasn't acceptable either!!!



It's just getting harder n' harder to make a go of the night club bidniz. Looks like I'ma gonna be here awhile. In the meantime - I will leave it to Jimmi Limo to sing my blues away!




A Song Of Love - From Meat Head!


Meat Head was a hot rodder?
Whodathunkit?


I was going to paste in a videeyah from Meat Head but nobody deserves that even on a Tuesday.

Monday, 14 January 2019

The F Files: Trust No One


Hmmmm. M's airplane DOES have some sophisticated 
avionics on it....


Yesterday I got a frantic e-mail from Jack telling me that I was in terrible danger and that the aliens were gonna get me. Further, he said, M was one a those bum-headed shape shifting aliens and if I didn't watch out - I'd get abducted. A short time later some guys pulled up in a van - piled out and beat the pooh out of Jack and then threw him in and sped off! I didn't think much of it and figured it was just another bender and maybe some angry husbands catching up with him.



Explain this, M?


Then this one came in from TB! So I phoned him up for more details and he was hysterically gobbling about The Deep State and black helicopters - and then the phone went dead! Nothing else... just static.

So I turned my own formidable intellect on things - and whaddya know?


Well, well, well! 



I knew it!!! Get your rifles men! Seems we got us a problem with illegal aliens.

The Hobo Stove Project




Welp - my retard built beer can stove was a bust. First I used five minute epoxy to hold the two halves and inner wall together and ended up with a serious case of eye-lid and nostril bonding. Hey - see no evil, smell no evil! HAR HAR HAR!!! When I got it done and lit it - I was too close to my stash of Goex FFFg black powder and I had an unexpected and inadvertent chemical energy surplus. Fortunately Pete and Quartermain got the blaze under control before my main powder magazine cooked off!

ASM had a design he prefers that I am going to try, and there are a couple others on OyTube and elsewhere that a fella can try. Next time I will carefully measure and follow the instructions too - I just slapped this one together and I think the burner holes are a little too big. It didn't burn well with Isopropyl Alcohol - but it did alright with methyl hydrate I guess.

I'll keep you posted. If you hear any loud explosions coming from Castello Di La Filthie - don't worry, everything is under control.

Now that Monday is over with - we can get on with the week!

Somebody's Gonna Get Shot

I am thinking it will be a younger officer or officers - just doing what their sleazy supervisors tell them, and getting a bullet in the pan for their efforts. I can see why they are pushing for gun bans.

Asnine draconian laws are nothing new for these liberal fart suckers in Canada. Back in the days of Jean Poutine Cretin - he and his mealy mouthed fart catcher, Allan Rock - enacted Bill C68 as an attack on lawful gun owners. It was a knee jerk reaction to a vibrant fwench/moslem/mystery meat psycho that shot up a vibrant class of feminist gender study students in Montreal. It was basically a successful predecessor to stuff like the St. Trayvon Crucifixion where the 'victim' was a skittle gobbling toddler, and Zimmerman was a 300 lb. White Supremist with an AR15 that had a shoulder-thing that goes up. The narrative that Marc Lepine was a disturbed white fwench-Canadian, and not a moslem mutt that hated women - held for over a decade. The liberal spin doctors used to be very good at what they did.

A decade and a half later, four brave mounties were gunned down in a small rural town called Mayerthorpe in Alberta The story goes that the young officers were dispatched to a small farm to take a local loon into custody. Apparently the nutter had an HK assault rifle handy and he shot those four kids out of lunacy. That's the narrative, and I have no evidence otherwise - but I don't believe a thing those red coat canary legged sons a whores say anymore. They are a shit stain on first world law enforcement and you have no idea how it galls me to say that.

It used to be that if a cop or a Mountie knocked on my door at 3:00 am... I'd do what good citizens should: I'd invite them in, put on the coffee, and ask how I could help.

Now?  Pbbfbfbffffft!!!!!

There is good news in all this though. The cops see this BS for what it is too, by and large. The cops out here in Alberta don't enforce the idiot gun laws we have, and on the few occasions where good citizens were getting burned by this moronic legislation - they threw the cases out!

It is the same in America. If the Donks ram through their gun control, you will see law enforcement at each other's throats if they try to enforce it. I've read of local sheriffs telling Obutthole that if he sent in the ATF to confiscate guns in their jurisdiction, said ATF officers would be disarmed and taken into custody.

 Nevertheless, the message here to lawful gun owners is clear: stock up on ammo and high cap mags. Do it now. And whatever you do, don't register all your weapons. The way things are going you may very well need them in the future.

Sunday, 13 January 2019

Sunday Night Bed Time Story

Light years ago I got destroyed in a philosophical argument with my chitlib brother in law. We were still using floppy discs in our computers in those days. One dayI had opined that one of these days the computers would be talking back to us. "Impossible," said he. "What would make an idiot like you think AI is even possible?"

I considered. Welp, I said, the computers are always getting faster, and the fastest ones were making thousands of calculations per second and one day, they'd get so fast that they could make their own decisions. "What does speed have to do with it, dumbass?" he asked, "All the computer is doing is math, and flipping ones and zeroes with no input of it's own..." I had to sit and admit he'd bested me in the argument... again. He was fast talker, one of those guys that can make BS sound good. But, had I been smarter and faster, I might have replied to his question with one of my own: What's the difference between the computer flipping ones and zeroes - and you doing the same thing? There are times I am still sincerely thankful that those people are well in my past and gone.

Back in the 90's the DOD guys were working on developing the fully autonomous cruise missile. The idea was that it could literally cruise around on its own and and observe. If it identified a target, it would be able to make the decision to attack or pass on the target itself. In the latter stages of that decade, a documentary claimed that the algorithms were so difficult that the AI could only differentiate friend from foe 60% of the time. A little while later I remember seeing articles claiming that the risk of friendly fire from milbots was just too great, and that the effort was being ditched on ethical, humanitarian and technical grounds. Henceforth, no further effort in that direction would ever be made again.

Pull my other finger, fellas. It has bells on it, HAR HAR HAR!!!

Over the last little while I've seen some great short stories from guys like TB, Jess and a few others. Here's another one from a millblogger that seems to have gone offline since.

Enjoy and we'll see ya tomorrow.

The Filthie Aviators

Oh Danny Boy
Those sewer pipes are rattlin'
From glen to glen, and down 
The mountainside...

I have been subscribed to Captain Blazc and Pilot Robert for some time now. Over here in North America, making cheap RC aircraft from garbage and junk is an artform - google 'Spad To The Bone' and you can get free plans to make aircraft from pizza boxes and cheap chloroplast. I am gonna do that too when I get older.

Unfortunately though - the bloody Slovenians have taken Spad Technology and advanced it by decades. I fear for our future if the Russians or Chicoms ever get hold of this technology. If our leaders had any smarts they'd send in a black ops team to capture these Slovenian scientists - and bring them back here where their talents could be used on behalf of the forces of niceness. 



RC geeks only. Anyone with a triple digit IQ
will want to do something productive.
Pilot Robert flies an advance Sewerpipe Jet.
In my scholarly opinion it needs a lifting wing rather than a
gliding wing - especially given the 
ruddervator configuration.
A steerable tailwheel might help things out a bit too.
But it sure looks cool!

Yannow - this can only end badly! That thing is destined to die hard, lawn darted deep into the earth after a glorious flight from dizzying heights above. Losing a model is a deeply emotional loss for the RC aviator - and a source of merriment and sport for his cretin friends. A couple years back I lost a crapcopter in one of the Centennial parks with all hands... and it bummed me right out! Here is a proper farewell to the toys we love and lose.



Fart Sacks N' Stubfarts

One of the problems of being a squaddie in Canada is that on the social totem pole - servicemen are at the very bottom of it. The liberals up here will sing the praises of the military but you can tell they hate it by what they do. They slash funding and cut support and services - and use the money 'saved' to pay off their cronies and pay for pork for their power base in Queerbec, Morontario and Hongcouver. In Canada, our red niggers First Nation Freeloaders get free food, free housing, free education, free medical - and special treatment in the courts and at hiring time. More than a few of our squaddies need to hit the food banks to get by. And the stuff liberals do to veterans - suffice it to say I would never wear the uniform of a force that defends such people and I would never take orders from them. But I digress.

Suffice it to say that Canada spends only a fraction of what it should to fund the military. As a result some of the gear our squaddies get has been stretched far beyond its service life, and is less than optimal. In the late 90's a small shop arose here in Aaaaaaaadmontin called Spike Camp, if I recall correctly. The guy that ran had one goal - to make the best damned gear possible. He sat down with the squaddies and put together BDU uniforms with stitching and materials that exceeded milspec and was actually deemed as acceptable alternates to military issue - provided the serviceman paid for it himself. Spike camp did all it's sewing and manufacturing in house. Many of those with the resources bought there gear there and turned their noses up at the issued stuff. It was a good call on their part.

Everything that shop made was top flight, from duty clothing to insulated winter gear to sleeping bags. It struggled for about 10 or 15 years and went out of business. The owner let his situation slip during a friendly chat - and I sucked it up and blew 500 bucks on my own first winter camping sleeping bag. I hoped it would help him out and I needed the bag... so it was a done deal.



It has a -40 C comfort rating. You have to be careful when picking a fart sack,
it used to be they all carried temperature statements as survival ratings.
Surviving the night and sleeping in comfort are two different things.

It was the best $500.00 I ever spent. I could go out camping and enjoy myself and the only thing that held me back is that vehicles start having problems starting when temps dip down to around -30C. The coldest I was ever out in was -28C and I did just fine I think I had a comforter over top of it too which might have helped. I'd get up in the middle of the night and go out to take a leak or a dump - and would be warm as toast after a couple minutes back in the fart sack.

If you are going to do winter camping - and you should - start with your fart sack and DON'T CHEAP OUT. The preppers should be all over this type of stuff too. Blankets are fine and dandy in the home but if you ever need to bug out - a good bag and a good sleep at night will improve your odds in adverse conditions.

The proper way to store these things is to throw them into a big box and let themselves settle. You do NOT want to store them in compression sacks. That is okay for the trip, but when you get home - take extra pains to store it right. Dry clean a good bag - and if you take care of it, not only will it take care of you - it will do the same for the kids and grandkids too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some cabin fever to take care off. No camp trip this weekend... but soon! I gotta get out one of these weekends. It has been far too long.

Have a great Sunday and get outside if you can.

Saturday, 12 January 2019

A New Year Resolution, Of Sorts

Contentment. That's it. That means changing a bunch of little stuff but other than that, contentment will be my motivator this year.



The last year was a big one for me. I finally managed to bury some bodies that were haunting me for years and living in my head rent free. For me, I didn't grieve - I hated, and that was worse. It took my mind off important things. I stopped flying my planes and crapcopters, I stopped shooting and camping, I stopped fighting senior delinquency with my crime fighting K9's, and I spent a lot of time brooding. I was lost.

Still am, I suppose... But 2018 put a lot of that to rest! I discovered my Maker and got a new foundation and moral compass of sorts. I may still be lost - but at least I know what quadrant I'm in now. So for me, 2019 will be filled with some minor dusting and cleaning. I am going to find fun, but stupid things to do - both near home and further afield. Here is what I am up to today:



This is the perfect project for fathers n' sons - and Special Ed retards like
Yours Truly!
Pete - Jack! Stand by on the fire extinguishers! Quartermain - keep that
first aid kit handy!!!

Yannow, I have one of those super efficient Jet Boil camping stoves but this sucker looks like way more fun. I will keep you posted! As for you all - find something that make YOUR day - and get after it! You're burning day light!!!

And have a good Saturday!

NOT Photoshopped!


Kids...Kids! You're ALL Bungholes!



Friggin Aesop. He's at it again, stirring up the pot as usual, and working all the retards into a flather! HAR HAR HAR!!!


I dunno where I stand on generational politics. I mean - my and my wife's parents are baby booming liberal arseholes that sit around and lecture me and my generation about great things like multiculturalism, tolerance, political correctness and all the crap that goes along with it. They would never stand for the social fallout of any of that themselves. They tell me that I am lazy and selfish for wanting the same things they take for granted. As far as they are concerned, a lifetime of 7.3 hour workdays, golden Fridays and flex days, and regular cost-of-living increases - all that hard work entitles them to a posh retirement! And in their eyes I am a lazy good for nothing bum because I won't work 60 hours a week plus - for peanuts. I don't want to be a son that disrespects his elders. I just want to tie them into a chair and beat them to death with a lead pipe, HAR HAR HAR!!!

I spoken about my prodigal daughter in these pages before - a militant lesbian social justice warrior and gay artiste. She and her creepy girlfriend think they are owed a living and shouldn't have to work or grow up. The fact that they do is proof of all the hateyness and homophobia in the world. They're victims, bravely carrying on in the face of all the evil in the world. Given the way she turned out, I should be tied up into a chair and beaten with a lead pipe!

The generational politics to me are another sign that the coming cultural war is going to be a cataclysm of biblical proportions. Something stupid this way comes - and I don't want to be around when it gets here.

Friday, 11 January 2019

Filthie's Friday Fake News: The Coopville Hoosiers - Shooting Baskets



Play the game: you have ten seconds! I didn't even see it, but the wife pointed out it was a photo-shop. Can you see the give-away?

No whispering from the Peanut Gallery! No prompting from the studio audience!!!

Hope y'all have a great weekend lined up - and thanks for stopping by!

Eras


Filthie Friday F-Tards


This morning I was laying around in bed trying to summon the ambition to haul my arse out of bed - and listening to the latest and greatest podcast from my favourite political blogger - The Z Man! The Z Man Power Hour is like Saturday morning cartoons for sullen, angry conservative retards and intelletuals alike - I heartily recommend it.

Anyhow - my wife (who doesn't particularly like or agree with Z)… well, she LOLLED when Z was talking about that rebuttal speech of Stretch Pelosi and that other democrat dick head in response to Trump's presidential address. Z waxed poetic, comparing those two clowns to brain dead zombies from bad horror shows. The wife laughed and rolled her eyes at Z's antics, and I got mad and gave her the frowning of her life! How dare that contentious woman mock and deride my super heroes?!? The bloody cheek!!!

Now... I'll grant that Z can be pretty caustic and abrasive. But:


Ask yourself this: which pair of clowns did the make-up artists
spend more time on?





And my personal favourite.
GAK GAK GAK!!!

Now, I am in no position to slag people for their personal appearance. But it is what it is. If ya look like a clown, and sound like a clown, and embrace stupid politics...? Well... it is what it is, I guess!

HAR HAR HAR!!!

Thursday, 10 January 2019

Four Tickets To Hell



A hundred years ago I used to be on this Canadian politics forum and got booted off on a regular basis for my ignorance and wrong opinions. Gawd, it was a non-stop laugh riot. Anyhoo, one a my arch enemies on it once quipped, "Filthie was actually pretty good at animal husbandry - until they caught him at it...'

HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR!

And that spawned a whole raft of rude jokes and knee slappers that had the ban hammer flying faster than a speeding bullet!  We even had a proto-SJW that we beat on with gay abandon. Back then he was a clown - nowadays, he and guys like him run the corporations, the gubbimint and the schools. And it shows too!




An electric ban hammer from the Pre-Bookface Era.

Of course nowadays the people driving that chit are in charge … and about the only thing that's kinda-sorta on that list above that won't get you mobbed and beaten - would be shagging farm animals! But if you actually show some talent for something, the talentless, marginal morons will get offended and have you burnt at the stake. Nevertheless, these are qualities to strive for, regardless of the temporary insanity so prevalent today.

Hope y'all had a great Thursday! Keep up the good work, it's almost Friday!

6 Tickets To Hell


Those gloves under the gun have finally given up the ghost.
They were very expensive and look like just crappy old work gloves. Think
I've had them 10 years now.
I got them as a gift for a Christmas long ago.
Wish I knew where they came from.

Thursday Screaming Memies

I have a particularly rank selection this week. The problem is that I am cooped in an office full a soy boys, femcnut chubsters, and political correctness - so my bitter nature gets the best of me sometimes.



common core math...



I tried this on BW. It works, he's still getting
flogged with a rolling pin by the old lady!




A hundred years ago my daughter was born.
In the blink of an eye she was walking and trying to talk.
I blinked again - and she was gone.





Wednesday, 9 January 2019

Old Fears Faced

When I was a kid I couldn't handle monster shows. Pop had just got a new fangled invention wired into the house called 'cable TV'. He was just jacked about it too: every football game, every hockey game - there wasn't enough beer in the world to be swilled for every game he was going to watch. He told us kids the Americans had all these great  cartoons too - every Saturday!

FFS - the first week we had it - it was Monster Week or something like that. I saw an SF yarn that left me with nightmares for several nights afterward but I never learned the name of it - until the other night.





I don't think it would be a spoiler alert; this film first aired in 1955.  But near the end, the hero clubs the chit out of the monster, escapes with the girl and preps the space ship to take off. And of course, before they can seal the hatches and get away - the monster wakes up and climbs into the space ship to confront the hero again later - just when everyone was heaving a sigh of relief and thinking they were finally safe!




Before you laugh, many of the other little kids on my street saw this too and were horrified by it, HAR HAR HAR! What I don't get is this: that goof in the rubber suit was able to terrify us kids almost to hysterics. And yet today, kids watch stuff like aliens and laugh and joke about it afterwards! I'm 55 and still nearly poop my pants in fear watching stuff like that!



It's a shame because when I watched This Island Earth again... the monster was just a guy in a rubber suit, the actors were all hams and the story was pretty corny. But it did evoke memories of old times when the world was still new and fun and terrifying too and made me smile.

I am hoping the old hands might help me out with another one from Monster Week. In it, the Limeys are digging a subway tunnel in Britain when they unearth a bunch of alien bug creatures that have been dormant for millions of years - and of course they all come alive and start burning London to the ground. Does that ring any bells with any of you? It was in black and white too. I would love to watch that one through the eyes of an adult if I could.

Hope y'all had a great Hump Day.

The Filthie Aviators


I see that M got that avionics upgrade I have been advocating.
For everything wrong with the world right now...
that'll fix it right there.
We will eliminate hunger and disease, achieve world peace,
and finally ban white underwear
for men.

Coopville Machine Works Inc.




I've heard about cheap labour alternatives to conventional American labour...
but this is ridiculous!
Still, ya can't really blame CM and her hubby. Wilma does better
work than I do and her manners are better too!

I see that Chicken Mom is still dark. I hope she's okay.

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Fuzzy Thinking: The Definition Of Marriage

Let me preface this. I do not understand my world, nor my place in it. I spent the first 50 years as a punching bag for dissatisfied, unfulfilled baby boomers and bailed out when I learned the remainder of my years were to be spent as a punching bag for degenerate queers, ethnics and other failed liberal social experiments, HAR HAR HAR!!! So I sit here in the maelstrom of and unplumbed perfidity - and try to make sense of what the hell is actually going on at any given time. The other day I had a rotten wood fire in my cranium that set off the smoke detectors.

One a the big gun bloggers got remarried. I won't mention names, y'all know who he is and if ya don't, it doesn't matter because identities are not the point here. Anyhoo, his wife passed a year back, couldn't have been more than two... and he posted the other day that he's since remarried. I wished him well. But - ya know how ya think about things that are 'none a ya business' - but ya do it anyways? I thunk to myself that 'Jeez - that was fast!' And of course the follow on thought to that was - was it a wise move? How good could the previous marriage have been? To re-marry so fast?

Please, don't anyone take any of this personal, I don't mean it that way and I am not out to slag anyone. My brother did the same thing, basically, when he divorced his first wife. They had two kids, split the sheets and did the divorce with a 'Do-It-Yourself-Home-Divorce-Kit'. For them the divorce was easy as pie; they split everything down the middle, 50/50 and that was that for that. No lawyers, no messy court battles, no drama.

And within a year Big Bro was married again. That must have been 20 years ago now. Last I heard, they're still together. I know all kinds of people like that. Most of 'em are good folks too. My question is this - what does marriage mean to them?

The reason I don't get it, maybe, is the way my own marriage came about. In school, my girl was a 6 or a 7 whereas I was maybe a 4 at best. Yet somehow she chose me, not the other way round. She took my hand first, initiated our first kiss, and my heart was lost before I knew it. Her parents tried repeatedly to end it. My future father in law took me aside, handed me a beer - and told me not to get serious with our relationship because his daughter was meant for a better man than I was. We had our first child nearly out of wedlock, her Mom arranged a hasty shotgun marriage to stave off the scandal. She was a Baptist and the other ladies of the church frowned on such things. It's one of the reasons I initially wrote off Christianity as a young man. We actually managed to make a family work out of all that, for several decades. Even when that family collapsed under the weight of its own stupidity - our marriage somehow held.

If my marriage crashed, or I lost my spouse...I would be emotionally wrecked. Easily for years, possibly for life. It would be worse than losing a limb. I could not see myself re-marrying. Yet these guys just seem to shrug the hit off and get back into it in record time. Do these guys love their women less than I love mine, and that's why it is so easy for them to recover? Or is it that they are tough bastids that can soak up a hit like that and just brush the wreckage off and keep going?

Maybe it's a bit of both?

Have a good Tuesday. Give the wife a hug.




Monday, 7 January 2019

Sunday, 6 January 2019

Sunday Tempest In A Tea Cup: The Great Retard Food Fight

A retard food fight of biblical proportions has broken out on the internet over the war on drugs.  All the big guns are in on it, pies and manure fly and head shots abound. I am still wiping the mire of my own face - fuggin Aesop!! HAR HAR HAR!!! That boy may be a little slow, but he's faster than me and he has an arm on him. Even Pete The Pastor is flinging it for all he's worth!




The hell of it is that with all the shots being thrown - I haven't seen a single wrong thing said yet. Most of 'em are absolutely right, as far as their arguments go. Oh sure, some of the similarities between the drug issue and other things like booze and gun problems are a bit contrived. BP and ASM are arguing from the vantage point of noble values like personal rights and freedoms and see the problems with drugs as a price tag for those values. They have a point. Aesop argues from the point of view of the ERT guy that has to scrape druggies off the pavement and guardrails, and clean up the mess when addicts go awry and astray. There is no arguing with him, IMHO. The guys that lean to libertarianism are forced back and throw out precedents and legalities - but the truth of it is that there are no precedents for crap like this. The people that founded our countries and our legal system didn't have to worry about stuff like terrorism, abortion, drugs, welfare dependency, or any of the other crippling social ills that get worse for us every day.

It's getting worse - the boys GOT bent right out of shape over it too. The problem is that nowadays, where rights and freedoms are more important than ethics and morals - we have no foundations to deal with crap like this. America's founding fathers (and Canada's) - were Christians. They had a moral code outside the law that allowed them some common ground to start the debates on the issues that divided them in their day. We have nothing. Most of us have thrown out our faith for one reason or another - and for many of us our morals and ethics went with it. So it is that we are faced with asinine problems and we come up with asinine solutions: first it was the queers, then it was the concept of 72 fake genders, and now pedophilia and bestiality are on the table. And it isn't enough for the degenerates that do this kind of crap to be free to do it; it's not enough for you to tolerate it and hold your nose and ignore it - you have to applaud and encourage it. "Whaddya gonna do boys," someone said at one point, "Burn down the village to save it?" Guys - the village is on fire already! That is why Aesop sounds like he does - his ass is on fire and his hair is catching and the flames are getting the better of him right now. We can't run a country like this.

It is my contention that the US Constitution and the Canadian Charter Of Rights are not suicide pacts. They were noble documents written by noble men for other noble men. They will work reasonably well for them too. They will not work for savages, drug addicts, degenerates or certain political and religious sects. For them, our laws are turned on us so they can strike at us and then hide behind them. They need different laws so that we can protect ourselves from them.

As for us - we need the morals and ethics to craft them, and the courage to face the inevitable failures and setbacks as we try to be fair to all concerned. Where are we going to get those?

Welp - that's my face shot off for the day. Thanks for stopping by - and have a great Sunday, eh?

Saturday, 5 January 2019

Today's Inspirational



Wish I had something more inspiring for ya's - but this will have to do for now. Thanks for stopping in, have a great Saturday - and watch the hell out for falling anvils.

Jokes They're Telling In Canukistan

I ordinarily don't bother with the long typed-out jokes and delete them from the email the second I see them. Maybe when I am retired and have time to read through all the ones I get spammed with...

Anyhoo - there's an exception to every rule, and this one sums up our political problems here at home quite nicely!


Victory Takes Many Forms...

That looks suspiciously like a battle from Nails & Sawdust...


Mind you, the agony of defeat also takes many shapes and forms too...


Errrrr… I hope that's my finger...!!!