Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Fuzzy Thinking: The Definition Of Marriage

Let me preface this. I do not understand my world, nor my place in it. I spent the first 50 years as a punching bag for dissatisfied, unfulfilled baby boomers and bailed out when I learned the remainder of my years were to be spent as a punching bag for degenerate queers, ethnics and other failed liberal social experiments, HAR HAR HAR!!! So I sit here in the maelstrom of and unplumbed perfidity - and try to make sense of what the hell is actually going on at any given time. The other day I had a rotten wood fire in my cranium that set off the smoke detectors.

One a the big gun bloggers got remarried. I won't mention names, y'all know who he is and if ya don't, it doesn't matter because identities are not the point here. Anyhoo, his wife passed a year back, couldn't have been more than two... and he posted the other day that he's since remarried. I wished him well. But - ya know how ya think about things that are 'none a ya business' - but ya do it anyways? I thunk to myself that 'Jeez - that was fast!' And of course the follow on thought to that was - was it a wise move? How good could the previous marriage have been? To re-marry so fast?

Please, don't anyone take any of this personal, I don't mean it that way and I am not out to slag anyone. My brother did the same thing, basically, when he divorced his first wife. They had two kids, split the sheets and did the divorce with a 'Do-It-Yourself-Home-Divorce-Kit'. For them the divorce was easy as pie; they split everything down the middle, 50/50 and that was that for that. No lawyers, no messy court battles, no drama.

And within a year Big Bro was married again. That must have been 20 years ago now. Last I heard, they're still together. I know all kinds of people like that. Most of 'em are good folks too. My question is this - what does marriage mean to them?

The reason I don't get it, maybe, is the way my own marriage came about. In school, my girl was a 6 or a 7 whereas I was maybe a 4 at best. Yet somehow she chose me, not the other way round. She took my hand first, initiated our first kiss, and my heart was lost before I knew it. Her parents tried repeatedly to end it. My future father in law took me aside, handed me a beer - and told me not to get serious with our relationship because his daughter was meant for a better man than I was. We had our first child nearly out of wedlock, her Mom arranged a hasty shotgun marriage to stave off the scandal. She was a Baptist and the other ladies of the church frowned on such things. It's one of the reasons I initially wrote off Christianity as a young man. We actually managed to make a family work out of all that, for several decades. Even when that family collapsed under the weight of its own stupidity - our marriage somehow held.

If my marriage crashed, or I lost my spouse...I would be emotionally wrecked. Easily for years, possibly for life. It would be worse than losing a limb. I could not see myself re-marrying. Yet these guys just seem to shrug the hit off and get back into it in record time. Do these guys love their women less than I love mine, and that's why it is so easy for them to recover? Or is it that they are tough bastids that can soak up a hit like that and just brush the wreckage off and keep going?

Maybe it's a bit of both?

Have a good Tuesday. Give the wife a hug.




6 comments:

  1. Yea I never get that either. I'd need a few years to lick my wounds and heal up. A couple years ago, Jake, a neighbor a couple houses over from us, whom we were cordial with let me know him and his missus were parting ways. Yea I thought they were a bit of an odd couple to start with. She was really the odd bird. I gave him my condolences of over the failed marriage. Jake said no big deal and they were parting as friends. He told me her new boyfriend was buying him out of the house and he was good with it. The new man moved in and a couple weeks later even bough the same model Subaru as Jake had. All of us were left shaking our heads. Shit I have fretted more over buying a new TV than those two did over their parting.

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    1. Yep. All ya can say is 'Good Luck!' and leave it at that!

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  2. When a woman I'd been friendly with for years lost her mother, I sent condolences and attended the funeral. Six weeks later her father was dating someone else, and shortly thereafter the two were married. My friend was furious, as she just knew that her father had been cheating on her mother with this bimbo, and... well, on and on. After a Q&A session it was revealed that no one had seen the two together prior to her mother's death, and the old man hadn't been disappearing once or twice a week for late night sessions with anything. Conclusion: This move was a bit soon for the girls to handle, but not for him. Different strokes, and all that.

    That said, I've never met the gun blogger in question and I have no urge to do so. I've read enough of him to convince me that he and I would get along famously until we disagreed on something, which wouldn't take long, and I'd be sorely tempted to fracture his proboscis for him as a sort of gentle reminder to employ graceful human behavior when conversing with someone who is not a properly groveling sycophant. By all appearances (public writings) the blogger in question is a strong type A personality, meaning he leads with his chin, and such people are often quick to recover from personal tragedy and move on with their life. In this case I suspect he's one of these guys who enjoys being married, and so after a suitable period goes in search of another wife.

    A good friend of mine, also a type A personality, lost his wife to cancer in 2005 (pancreatic cancer - she lived 7 weeks after the diagnosis), and he was devastated. He's never remarried, but dates regularly and is very active. He just got over it, and that was that. I've know other men who've lost a wife and it took years for them to recover.

    Now me, I've never been married and have no plans to change. I can't imagine any woman would put up with me for than an hour or two, what with my habits, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

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    1. Yep. He's a little prone to vanity, abrasiveness and arrogance - but he has a great style of telling the right people where to go and how to get there. I've read him for years and I think that he thinks of women as commodities, almost. Given the rise of the North American Skank - it's hard to fault him for it.

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  3. I think it really depends on the individual Glen. I have known folks that can move on and folks that cannot.

    For divorces especially, I also think there is an element in the status of the relationship. for some, the divorce is a complete surprise and wrenching ordeal; for others, it is simply admitting that the relationship has dissolved into a business relationship at best and an uncomfortable daily reminder of a bad decision on the other.

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    1. Probly right TB. Sometimes, maybe the less you know of other people's affairs, the better...

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