Let me preface this. I do not understand my world, nor my place in it. I spent the first 50 years as a punching bag for dissatisfied, unfulfilled baby boomers and bailed out when I learned the remainder of my years were to be spent as a punching bag for degenerate queers, ethnics and other failed liberal social experiments, HAR HAR HAR!!! So I sit here in the maelstrom of and unplumbed perfidity - and try to make sense of what the hell is actually going on at any given time. The other day I had a rotten wood fire in my cranium that set off the smoke detectors.
One a the big gun bloggers got remarried. I won't mention names, y'all know who he is and if ya don't, it doesn't matter because identities are not the point here. Anyhoo, his wife passed a year back, couldn't have been more than two... and he posted the other day that he's since remarried. I wished him well. But - ya know how ya think about things that are 'none a ya business' - but ya do it anyways? I thunk to myself that 'Jeez - that was fast!' And of course the follow on thought to that was - was it a wise move? How good could the previous marriage have been? To re-marry so fast?
Please, don't anyone take any of this personal, I don't mean it that way and I am not out to slag anyone. My brother did the same thing, basically, when he divorced his first wife. They had two kids, split the sheets and did the divorce with a 'Do-It-Yourself-Home-Divorce-Kit'. For them the divorce was easy as pie; they split everything down the middle, 50/50 and that was that for that. No lawyers, no messy court battles, no drama.
And within a year Big Bro was married again. That must have been 20 years ago now. Last I heard, they're still together. I know all kinds of people like that. Most of 'em are good folks too. My question is this - what does marriage mean to them?
The reason I don't get it, maybe, is the way my own marriage came about. In school, my girl was a 6 or a 7 whereas I was maybe a 4 at best. Yet somehow she chose me, not the other way round. She took my hand first, initiated our first kiss, and my heart was lost before I knew it. Her parents tried repeatedly to end it. My future father in law took me aside, handed me a beer - and told me not to get serious with our relationship because his daughter was meant for a better man than I was. We had our first child nearly out of wedlock, her Mom arranged a hasty shotgun marriage to stave off the scandal. She was a Baptist and the other ladies of the church frowned on such things. It's one of the reasons I initially wrote off Christianity as a young man. We actually managed to make a family work out of all that, for several decades. Even when that family collapsed under the weight of its own stupidity - our marriage somehow held.
If my marriage crashed, or I lost my spouse...I would be emotionally wrecked. Easily for years, possibly for life. It would be worse than losing a limb. I could not see myself re-marrying. Yet these guys just seem to shrug the hit off and get back into it in record time. Do these guys love their women less than I love mine, and that's why it is so easy for them to recover? Or is it that they are tough bastids that can soak up a hit like that and just brush the wreckage off and keep going?
Maybe it's a bit of both?
Have a good Tuesday. Give the wife a hug.