Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 10 November 2019

The Filthie Archeologist: “Okay, Boomer...”

The other day on the rod and gun forum I was entertaining the younger members with stories about The Great Canned Tuna Shortage Of ‘97 and the little chits responded with a contemptuous “Okay, Boomer!”

That’s apparently the scathing new insult the young ones use to dismiss prattling seniors  disrespect their elders. Look it up online - I tell no lies! Kids today hate baby boomers. Whatever, you little chits! When the SHTF and there’s no canned tuna to be found - see if I will waste my wisdom and energy on you little punks!!! You’re all BUNGHOLES!!!

I better settle down and slam some Metamucil before someone gets hurt!😆👍

This week I’ve assembled a baffling array of ancient and mysterious artifacts and implements for your inspection and evaluation. If you can divine the purpose and function of some of these items... keep it to yourself and don’t share it with the youngsters! Let ‘em figure it out for themselves! That’ll learn the arrogant little pricks!!!

Mine all had props and were powered by rubber bands.
I dreamed of the day when I would fly those high tech RC planes.

No idea. Perhaps one of our esteemed 
visiting academics can sort this one out....

I think it's a hoe.
(Like yo mamma, HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!)
((I crack me up sometimes.))

This is the heart and soul of every 
Harley Davidson owner.
The difference between the 9 year old that owns this bike,
and the pot bellied bald headed old boomer on the Harley is purely conversational.
It is my contention that joy is the constant in that mathematical relationship, not

Do you little young pukes know what these are for?
I'm not gonna tell ya!!!

Depending on who ya talk to, this was either a miracle
or a shitstorm of biblical proportions. Either way it is an event
that will never be repeated again.

Toronto delenda est.

I've never seen these, and I'd be willing to
wager that ASM and BP haven't either, HAR HAR HAR!!!

I know enough about radio wave physics to be dangerous
and that's it.
I'd love to know what in hell is going on here.

That is a vaginal speculum.
M has one in his shop for when he gets sand in his.

This is a combination spittoon and bidet.
We used them in school in the industrial instrumentation wing all the time.
When you spat out your chew, ya washed it down the drain
with a squirt of water.
I still remember the hysterical gobbling and screaming
one of the plumbers did when he tore ours apart to clear a blockage.
The man was severely traumatized. 

Oh man!!!! Dammit - I have no matches! I'm not allowed to play 
with them!!! Any of you that can help out???


These are illegal and prohibited in Canada.
No loss, really, as most of the ones I saw were literally
built by pakies and so poorly made that they were liable to kill on both ends.

No idea.

That is not me, although you'd be correct suspect....
Yannow - that actually could be me.
It was a long time ago.
I even had hair!!!

No idea.

Junk. If you have one of these, do yourself
a favour and throw it away.
Bust it up first, to make sure that no passing garbage
pickers fish it out and use it.

I coulda used one of these during my days of 
detention, dunce caps and lines...

Gawd I hate loonies and toonies. 

I think Stu The Jew had one a these in his
280Z rice rocket.
(And that thing was more rice than rocket, if ya catch my drift...)
That car was built by clippers, FOR clippers.

This is not what pervs like Jack and Quartermain think it is.

Dunno if I'd wear one of these or not. I suppose if
I were chasing the gold and competing with the snipers at Camp
Borepatch I would... but otherwise... meh.

They are with the mighty herds of buffalo now...

I'd REALLY like to know what that one is....

Ladies and gentlemen of the intelligentsia and academia - thank you so much for stopping by! If you can help us out with some of the tougher ones - please enlighten us in the comments.

In the meantime have a great Sunday and thanks for stopping by.


  1. I just missed being a boomer by months. So I can be lumped in with them by the youngsters, but I have to say that the boomers are the worst. Almost everything wrong with culture today can be laid at their feet. The world will truly be a better place when that generation has no more influence.

    1. Filthie...I believe I have picked up from your blog that you and I are just a few months apart age may be able to call yourself an early Gen Xer and avoid the purge.

    2. The bench mark seems to me to be around 1965 - with those before being boomers and those after being Gen X. Others may disagree with that - and by that definition I got lumped in with the boomers by a few months.
      Supposedly the boomers inherited the world and pissed it all away for their grandkids and there is some element of truth to that. The boomers in my family all fell upwards and financially don't have a care in the world. All their families fell to pieces though - and they are incredibly arrogant and entitled.
      Others - mostly late boomers like me... got none of that. We worked for everything we had and felt the social consequences of early boomer decisions good and hard. For the record, I will welcome our new Gen X overlords - and when they start purging the boomers after the revolution, I want a front seat at the public executions. If I am to swing with them from the gallows, I would ask that I get to watch my elders swing first, HAR HAR HAR!!!

  2. They may think we're antiques, but they never stood in line for a polio vaccine, did duck and cover drills during the threat of nuclear war, or walk three miles for enough soda bottles to turn in for a Zero candy bar and a Frosty root beer. Those things create character, intelligence, and integrity.

    1. They weren't raised right, Jess. They are not doing themselves any favours as adults either...

  3. Yes, the old duck and cover drill. Being a precocious, erudite youngster, I was one of the few who pointed out that ducking and covering would accomplish nothing, as we'd all be incinerated - reduced to dust. I was sent out of the classroom as punishment.

    As for the rest of the photos, here are the answers to most:

    1. I had both varieties, the glider and the rubber band propeller.
    2. I'm clueless.
    3. An agriculture implement, used in place of the common garden hoe.
    4. The bubble gun card motor. You could also use balloons, but they'd eventually give out.
    5. More fun than a barrel of - I'm not gonna say it. It was an amusing time waster.
    6. No comment.
    7. The coin is some of the funky Michigan money. It won't work in vending machines, and the local bank doesn't want it.
    8. The rabbit ears pick up local TV stations (VHF). The little twist in the middle is supposed to pick up the UHF stations, if any exist.
    9. I don't know what it is, but I know it's NOT a speculum.
    10. Don't be daft. It's a water fountain. You didn't spit your gum into the fountain; you stuck it to the underside of your desk.
    11. Never seen it before.
    12. Jews harp. Anyone can play one.
    13. I think that's an auto-loading magazine fed shotgun.
    14. Don't know for sure, but it might be a crude remote control.
    15. Ah, the old dunce cap. Contrary to this photo, the dunce cap was not directly associated with bad behavior. It was the reward for being the worst academic in the class.
    16. I'm clueless.
    17. It's a knife sharpener that doesn't work. I never owned one.
    18. It holds five sticks of chalk, and was used to draw a musical staff in one stroke.
    19. Monopoly money, Canadian edition.
    20. Don't know.
    21. How would you know? This is actually a toy specifically designed to drive adults right out of their mind.
    22. Shooting jacket.
    23. A pay phone. You see, prior to the era of the cell... nevermind.
    24. I have ideas, but none I'd care to share here.

  4. The yellow thing (16?) is a BFA or Blank Firing Attachment (Adapter) for the FN C1 / C2 Rifles.(a Man's Rifle) And them thar pink ball thingies (21?)are Clacker Balls (Fuddle Duddle Balls)

  5. The Orange box is a Live Bait holder for worms

  6. I'll take that back. It is shaped very similar to one that I had years ago but this one looks like some kind of string dispenser.

    1. It looks like something the forestry or seismic guys might use to me … but I can't imagine what that is...

  7. #2 is a spider for a 45 rpm record.

    1. Good work, CB!!!

      45's were before my time. By the time I got into buying music in my teens it was all LP's with mind blowing covers.

      Jack was telling me they might be the ends for cylindrical records - which he still plays! :)

  8. A measuring chain for rough measurements as you walk. It pays out a string as you go, and counts off feet.

  9. #20 looks like a booster for a CB. They would bleed out radios & TVs for miles around. And you didn't want to get caught with one so they were mount in out of the way places. Yup #2 is for 45s. My older sister had all kinds of 45s she played on her turntable cause she didn't have the gizmo that fit over the spindle. The speeds were 16, 33 1/3, 45 and 78.