Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 15 January 2020

Where's My Warble Gloaming, Greta?

Greta Toonberg is so fuggin dumb, even Uncle Bob's Institute For Wayward Retards turned her application for enrollment down. It is my conviction that religious faith is being replaced with shithouse consensus science. The polar bears are thriving, Greenpeace got stranded up north and had to be rescued by an ice breaker, there's record snowfall in Hongcouver, former weather models are debunked... and the monkeys still sing and dance to the old tired tune. If we had a dustbowl event like the one in the Dirty 30's - the envirotards would hurl retards like Greta into a volcano to appease the weather gods, HAR HAR HAR!!! Errrrr…. yannow that might not be a bad idea after all, HAR HAR HAR! They could throw in Greta for an appetizer - then toss in Fat Al Gore for the main course... and then pitch in David Zucchini for dessert! HAR HAR HAR!😆👍

She was a little crispy out there this morn, folks. The cell phone said it was -36C, the old lady's car said -38C, and the thermometer on the wall said -42C. Whatever it is - it's getting down there.

They're hopping from wad to wad to keep their feet warm!
Somebody should look in on the birds and CM
at Coopville. 
If they are getting this weather they probably all have The Rig*
by now.

*Rigor Mortis

I don't mind cold weather, I have the gear and if I wanted I could go for a nice comfy stroll out there. I have one of those big bejeezus Canada Goose parkas and insulated pants that they use on polar expiditions. Problem is the dawgs - Mort is a big shaggy galoot so he'd be okay... but ... Macey. Cripes, she's half blind, arthritic, and senile and she tuckers out fast. We'll just stay in today, thanks.

It has to get colder than this to make taking a leak a problem.
A dump, on the other hand, can be problematic
given the heat exchange surfaces and durations involved. Texans, truck drivers
and rig pigs could do it... but civilians will
need special accomodations for cold weather work like that.

I used to work in this stuff though. When you get down this low, there's no bones about it: you have to take it seriously or it will kill you if you're not careful.

Somewhere on the job in my last life.
Probably February, Fort McMuck. Fort Hills? Firebag?
I can't remember.
In February, the clouds give way, the skies turn crystal clear and blue and beautiful...
and the temps drop like a stone.

I only got hypothermia once in my life, and it's true what they say - it creeps up on you. If you're out there - just be aware of yourself. Ordinarily the gunnies and dissident conservatives are fond of saying "Stay Frosty Boys!"

Today is not the day for that! Stay warm.


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