Years ago I had an Appaloosa who was more thoroughbred than Appaloosa and he was flighty as hell. He tried to kill Pop’s dog whenever he could and even stomped a coyote once. Granny was always poking and prodding him so one day, the old bird went into the tack shed to find a comb to torment him with - and the sly bugger ran up, parked is fat ass against the door - and wouldn’t let her out. Granny screeched in outrage and the bastard would let her push the door open a few inches… and then would throw his weight against it and close her back in. Pop and I watched the whole thing with rude smirks.
One day Big Bro was feeding the nag, and for a joke, the horse decided to munch on his hair instead of grass. If you’ve ever heard a horse cropping grass… Big Bro’s scalp made the same noise as the horse tore it out by the roots, HAR HAR HAR! Big Bro didn’t find it funny at all and slugged that joker right in the nose - which is a very sensitive part on horses. It’d be almost like kicking a man in the balls. For a few minutes they both wallowed in their unspeakable pain whilst I rudely looked on in approval.
You can’t let these brutes discover that they are stronger than you, or you’ll have no end of trouble with them. It’s funny when it happens to somebody else, but that monkey is probably going to need stitches, and they have a dangerous animal on their hands now.
I've had a few horses. They're dangerous brutes, and should never be trusted.ReplyDelete
My grand dad had a spoiled horse he picked up somewhere. He named him Littlebit. Said that horse would turn and bite him when he tried to mount up. So he took and old boot sole and drove a wad of nails in it. When Littlebit turned to bite, he got a snootful of nails. When I was a pup, that horse was fun to play on and ride. Never went faster than a trot. When grand dad rode him, that horse could cut cows, and run like the wind. Best horse ever. Grand dad was mounting up on Littlebit one cold winter day, had a heart attack, and was dead before he hit the ground. Littlebit only lasted a few years after that... They were best friends...ReplyDelete
Horses are different from cats and dogs, and will take a piece of you when they go. I suppose that works in reverse too...Delete
Well, if your dumb enough to think you can wrestle a 2000 pound camel into place, sooner or later you're going to be roadkill. A horse with a bad disposition would qualify as a well behaved camel. Nasty brutes.ReplyDelete
If you're not the alpha, for pity sake stay on the porch, you're gonna get hurt.
I have heard that they are surly sonsabitches at the best of times too. Kinda like their riders I guess.Delete
I saw a show where those mutts were having a camel beauty contest. Their concept of beauty is futzed too...
Yep. They bite, kick, spit, and fart just like us older guys. A little known fact about the niqab: there were no brown paper bags to put over the women's heads.Delete
From what little I know, camels are quite intelligent. Most have a spiteful nature and will spit on you when you aren't looking. You'll get nailed with a glob of phlegm about the size of two fists.ReplyDelete
Llamas and alpacas are also able to spit, and will do so if provoked. Many years ago a car dealership in Toledo brought a 'petting zoo' into the new car showroom as advertising. What could possibly go wrong?
As I remember it, they had a spider monkey that liked to climb over people and tended to bite. People thought it was cute, then try to pet it, and the damn' thing would bite. The monkey lasted one day, and that was it.
They also had a llama, which has the disposition of a not-terribly-friendly dog. Some little girl cornered the beast in order to pet it, and got a wad of partially digested food on top of her cute little blonde head. The guys were all trying to hide their laughter, the kid's mother did not think it was funny, and the animal handler explained that spitting was a defense mechanism that llamas would use when they felt threatened. Translation: If your little cherub hadn't screwed around with the llama, she wouldn't have got what she deserved.
I think there were a couple goats as well, but then one of them butted a customer and another started chasing the kids around the showroom.