Well the situation with my percussion gun is now better AND worse!!! I don't wanna talk about it!!!! At least I know what is going on, and this one turns out to be a forgivable mistake on both our parts. I am still mad about it though!
So I'm on the email and on the phone with Taylor's we are swapping pics and diagrams and squabbling about parts and assemblies ... and another email comes in. From my daughter. Titled, "Dad"... and my heart stopped. I haven't spoken to her in 6 or 7 years now. I finished up with Taylor's and just stared at the email in my inbox without opening it.
It's the damnedest thing. I was just vapour locked. Part of me wanted to open it, see what was going on, how she was, to maybe talk, tell her I loved her and missed her... and the other part just wanted nothing to do with it.
I heard a line awhile ago on TV where a father was describing his troubled daughter... "She couldn't even make her dolls do what she wanted them to...". Then I thought about all her demons and demons and I just opened the damn email. Whatever it was, I steeled myself to do what was right, no matter how much it hurt.
It turned out to be a scam email. I am filled with relief and sorrow. I wonder if God sits up on his cloud sometimes, looks down at the pickles we get ourselves into... and just shrugs because He doesn't know what to do about it either...?
I'm taking the rest a the day off fellas. I am going to go to the range and force myself to do some serious load developMINT, rather than just plinking and bloviating with the other duffers and stubfarts. I appear to be having a bit of a day and maybe a good range session will help. Thanks for stopping in.
Filthie
PS Hold your kids close.
well, fuck.
ReplyDeleteYOU send the first email, Glenn! Eat your fucking pride and reach out.
Or don't.
Your misery, not mine.
I do hope you can find peace, but the emotions you describe means you ain't got it yet.
long time lurker...
In my case that would be like grabbing onto a stove burner after having done it five or six times and having been burned. My kid only gets ahold of me when he wants something. If I don't pan out, I get the "You're the reason I'm the way I am!" routine. No I'm not, kid. You're a liar, a cheat, and a thief. You got none of those traits from me. ...Take it down the road...
DeleteWhen you have a kid you give them the power to destroy your heart.
DeleteYes sir, I'm right there with you. When I see a certain name pop up on the email, text or phone, my gut lurches like an elevator with a borked cable.
ReplyDeleteI feel you bud. And you never know if contact will result in more pain or less. If history is any indication it'll be more. Taking the first step is a tossup and a gamble all at once. I used to ask one of my kids if they were still alive. And that was the breadth of the conversation. We've gotten along better since, but at least they knew I was interested and not trying to push my way in.
Enjoy making smoke and thunder. Simple pleasures are good ones, too.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses...
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry guys. I should delete this post. No, it isn’t my pain; I went through this wringer 6 years ago and I’m not doing it again. I have cut my losses, taken my lumps, and I accept that I am not a father, and it’s just an old injury flaring up and causing some pain.
ReplyDeleteAs usual Pete has the right of it. People are who they are and they seldom change. God has plans for my kid, I am not part of them and I just have to suck it up and deal with it.
I stumble sometimes. Sorry about that… I appreciate your stopping in and the comments though.
Hang in there, its not an easy burden to carry. The best you can do is try to not get burned. And even when you think you have all the bases covered it still happens in the most unexpected way. Is it any wonder we become bitter old men.
DeletePlease leave this post in-place.
DeleteYou are not the only one.
Kids are like rockets. We have influence for a while but then they go ballistic and our jobs are done.
Maybe they come back into our orbit. Maybe not.
Count yourself successful if they reached adulthood alive. Many are not so lucky.
Leave the post. We, parents, are all in this together.
Glen, agree with ERJ. This will help someone you do not even know now who will find themselves in this place and have no idea where to start or what to think.
Delete(I have gotten those scams as well. It is far too easy, with today's connected world, for scammers to come by the information.
Best piece of advice I ever hear about relationships in general is: “You can be right or you can have peace. You can’t have both.” Sometimes peace requires setting aside who is right or wrong and just finding the common ground. Do with that what you will.
ReplyDeleteSo it is, DH, and well said. There are some wrongs though, that I just won't abide, and some that if you cave into them, will only bring more discord. There are some rights that need to be defended too. The world is getting mean and has carried my daughter off with it... and I don't intend to go with it.
Delete