Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 26 December 2022

Arty Facts: The Perch Of Kings


There’s a famous movie scene where it’s Friar Tuck, or maybe King Henry - and he’s bellied up to a feast table full of savoury rich food. So he grabs a turkey leg and takes a bite…then throws it over his shoulder. He grabs a big chunk of cheese, takes a bite…and throws the rest over the other shoulder. He grabs a meat pie, takes a bite…and throws it over his shoulder… he goes on like that and it really is quite hilarious.

I dunno what the plot was or the context of it…but I feel like I’ve been eating that way for three days! I think I’m beginning to understand vegetarians a bit. If I eat one more candy or Christmas treat…I am going to have to vomit….

🤢

So it was that when this mystery piece of antiquity popped up on my radar I recognized it immediately.


That’s King Alfred Of Anglia, or possibly Cederq Of Wessex…
Perched on a thunderbox after the Yule Feast.

I have the same thousand yard stare today, with a food hangover…
wondering what the hell I’ve done to myself
and whether I’ll survive it.

I don’t think my lower intestine was designed 
to take this kind of
punishment…


Groooooaaann….

I hope you are as miserable as I am and that you managed it the same way! If you’re young enough to handle it… a quart of whisky will lube your innards and make passing high volumes much easier.

Just sayin’….
 

4 comments:

  1. Quart of whiskey and you won't feel it, easy or not.
    Steve S6

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  2. Yep, paid my dime and only farted...

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  3. I didn't really overindulge yesterday, but yes, the morning constitutional was a tad bit earlier than usual.
    When I was much younger, I could go to an "all you can eat" buffet and REALLY get my money's worth. Sometime in my middle years, I discovered that the pain after the third plate just wasn't worth the effort. As always, I try to be gracious about encountering these "limitations of age", but still and all they are often a pissoff.

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  4. Not quite the level of "Gunner" but our little Cairn terrier knows when a delivery or post truck is heading our way yet is 3 blocks away, And that while sitting indoors. Thanks for all the great posts Glen.

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