Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 14 January 2023

The Filthie Plumber


The fags at Busted Knuckles are picking on me AGAIN.  I tried to complain to Phil but he got mad and told me to FOAD and threw things at me. I get a lot of that rude mistreatment on the internet… can’t imagine why for the life of me…. But I digress.

I have three crappers in my house and they all seemed to go after 25 years of hard work with Texas sized turds. We replaced the guts up in the tanks a couple times but even then… they just weren’t flowing right any more. Even my wife clogged them once or twice and she poops like a sparrow (but stinks like a skunk, HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR!)

So I’m thinking about all this and wondering…why do toilets wear out? Other than the guts up in the tank…there’s no moving parts, right?  Observe:

So…there’s nothing to wear out in the bowl. What is it that impedes the flow? Could it be some kind of scale in those bends of the pipe? On the first crapper I did I found a big, long strip of what looked like a desiccated piece of beef jerky lodged in the stand pipe but it was nowhere big enough to impede the flow. That was my washroom - the one in the wife’s was free and clear as far as I could tell. The one downstairs looked clear too. I didn’t reach in to feel around or anything… but those crappers all got snaked… how do toilets wear out…?


  1. Lmao 😆. You, Sir , are a Trip, and so is Phil.

  2. Did you pay your gravity bill?

    If you are in arrears you can send me a certified check and I will straighten things out.

  3. I'd check the vent. Critters have a tendency to build webs or nests in vent stack covers that impede the ability of the toilet to flush correctly. That, and leaves seem to find vent stack covers a good place to accumulate. With the vent blocked, the pipes never really flush completely like they should.

    Toilets don't wear out. The flushing mechanism can, but the toilet is nothing but a porcelain bowl.

  4. Part of the problem is that the government says that we have to live with these stupid "low flow" toilets that only use 1.6 gallons per flush, or less. Mine used to clog a lot until I figured out a method that works. First, flush before you sit down, to make sure everything is clear. Next, flush immediately after you finish your business, before using any paper. Next flush again after using paper. Finally, give it a goodbye flush. Each time you flush, hold the handle down until the tank is empty. Problem solved!

  5. Had a similar problem with a 10 yr old crapper. Turned out to be scale buildup in the small bowl inlet. Used a bendable bristle brush and some lime-away to scrub inside the inlet after shutting off the water and flushing it dry. Soaked for a couple hours and brushed again.

  6. As already mentioned, vent needs to be free for gravity flow to do its work. And scale can definitely slow down flow rates.
    I've been told there is a thriving black market for old 3.5 gallon toilets. Make some discreet inquiries at salvage yards and remodelers.
    While it's true the porcelain doesn't "wear" out, it's easy to crack it at the bolt holes. Easy does it with new gaskets and bolts.

  7. don in the states14 January 2023 at 12:47

    Are just your loo's slow or does the whole place act sluggish? If it's the whole house you might have roots blocking the line. I would have the lines TV'd to see what's in them. Another problem might be the house settling which can reduce flow. Also if all 3 toilets use the same outfall line you might have sagging piping in the horizontal run.

    And FWIW the beef jerky thing in the stand pipe was probably part of the wax ring seal between the toilet and drain pipe.

    1. It makes sense guys... but since the crappers have been replaced everything works fine. If there were peripheral problems... wouldn't the new crappers be affected too...?

  8. Some day we all just say “I’m just not taking that shit any more!”