Dammit, I am still constipated with RAGE. Awhile back I was rendering a scholarly opinion on the action film heroine - Sigourney Weaver. Then those two retards - Cederq and JL showed up and pooped in the comments with rude jokes about me and my favourite 80's gal. This kind of conduct is indicitave of simply unacceptable opinions and fringe lunacy from disturbed individuals! My feelings were also deeply hurt and my self esteem took a beating too. Why - I'm seriously tempted to notify the Liberal Party of Canada of this hateful speech and conduct, and recommend severe punishMINT for the both of them!!!
Bungholes!!!
Those two cretins aside - we need to settle this one. A serious topic like "Who's The Best Action Hero Of The 80's" can only be discussed by mature, informed and emotionally stable adults. Any women, millenials, Gen Zer's - you can move along! Hit the road! Even us old stubfarts struggle with issues like this and often get it completely wrong - not mentioning any names. Some of you Gen X punks are allowed to take part - but you have to be this tall to go on this particular ride - NO EXCEPTIONS:
We need to agree on who should be on the list of 80's action film superstars - and vote for a legitimate winner in our Filthie's F-tard Friday edition tomorrow. I recommend the following for consideration:
Bruce
Arnie
Van Damme
Sly
Sigourny (Women's Category)
Gawd... there were so many. Any other suggestions for the list? If so - please let me know in the comments and we'll vote on it tomorrow. If JL wants to formally apologize for all the rotten things he said about me and Sigourny (and compensate me financially for my hurt feelings) I may consider adding hacks like Rutger to this list of Hollywood greats!
Hopefully, we can get a reasonable and mature resolution to this sordid Hollywood business once and for all.
Hey! Have a great Thursday! That's an order!
Clint Eastwood, then Bruce.
ReplyDelete"This kind of conduct is indicitave of simply unacceptable opinions and fringe lunacy from disturbed individuals! My feelings were also deeply hurt and my self esteem took a beating too."
ReplyDeleteWorks every time! Oh, by the way, your list is mostly good (I'll give you Sigourney, but only because of Ghostbusters) you forgot about Sam Elliott, Kurt Russell, and Clint Eastwood. Rutger Hauer doesn't deserve a place on that list.
Sly "anti gun" Stallone and Arnold "Scroo ya Freeduhm" Schwarzenegger can blow a dead whale.
No mention of Peewee Herman??? WTH
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Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson.
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"a reasonable and mature resolution to this sordid Hollywood business once and for all."...what are you smoking? YOU SHOULD STOP IT!!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure it was Matt Dillon. Or Lucas McCain.
I would have to say I like Mr. Willis. Clint Eastwood would be in there, that flinty eyed glare just before things go pear shaped is classic.
ReplyDeleteAll are good and have high body counts so there is that.
Clint Eastwood
ReplyDeleteBruce
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Chuck
Filthie--you gotta set some parameters--guys like Eastwood, Connery, and Gene Hackett became action heroes in the 60s and kept going...Bruce, Sly, Lundgren, Van Damme and Arnie on the other hand, started in the 80s (leeway can be made if their first action movies were in the late 70s) and became action heroes during the decade in question. Of the five later action heroes, Bruce was the most versatile from his famous Die Hard series, Tears of the Sun, The Whole Nine Yards and Lucky Number Slevin--he showed a much wider acting range than Sly, Lundgren, Van Damme and Arnie--with better movie plots/story-lines.
ReplyDeleteMel Gibson was pretty damned awesome in the Lethal Weapon series.
ReplyDeleteMelanie Griffith! Come on have you ever seen her in Cherry 2000? Charlton Heston, what? Have you seen Soylent Green?
ReplyDeleteMaybe Kurt Russell (Snake from 'Escape From New York') and Ifergithisname in 'Trouble in Little China'). Kevin Costner in '3000 Miles to Graceland' did a pretty good Bad Guy, with Western 'Open Range' mention for Bad Assery points.
ReplyDelete"Sly "anti gun" Stallone and Arnold "Scroo ya Freeduhm" Schwarzenegger can blow a dead whale."
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I admire Arnold, but he isn't ever going to be a real American so he can have a big cup of Shut the Fuck up.
Im voting for Bruce because, as Beavis and Butthead would say, his movies, "rock." And because in real life Bruce is a awesome dad. I read a story where after he a Demi broke up, he bought the house next door so he could be close to his kids. That and because he made a couple of great Christmas movies.
Dishing on Sigouney Weaver, well....pistols at dawn. I was a teenager when Alien came out and, man, Sigourney Weaver in her panties. Thank you Jesus. And then there was sequel with the epic cat fight between Sigourney and the female alien. Epic. Sigourney didn't need to be a May Sue that whoever that chick is in Star Wars.
I don't really count Clint as an action star. I thought that movie about stealing some Russian jet was kind of stupid. But I admire that about Clint. He was not afraid to try stuff.
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The three Angels on Charlie's Angel were a better action gals then too tall Weaver.
ReplyDeleteClint Eastwood!!!
ReplyDeleteBruce for the win. Sigourney? What are you smoking? Looks like a flat chested hear me roarer to me.
ReplyDeleteMr. T followed by the rest of the A-Team
ReplyDelete1974's Thunderbird and Lightfoot earn Clint and Bridges a nomination.
ReplyDelete" started in the 80s (leeway can be made if their first action movies were in the late 70s)"
ReplyDeleteUnder this rule, I would like to nominate, or at least acknowledge Roger Moore because 1) Bond movies are action movies, and 2) the consistent high quality of hotties banged by Moore. For the snowflakes reading this a Langley, I mean women. Women with nice tits and an ass and legs that never quit.
"Mel Gibson was pretty damned awesome in the Lethal Weapon series." The decoy truck chasing scene in Mad Max: The Road Warrior is one of the best chase scenes put to film.
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Don’t forget the slopes and the joggers; honorable mention for Sho Koshugi (Ninja movies kicked ass in the 80’s); Carl Weathers (Action Jackson!); and Eddie Murphy (Beverly Hills Cop 2 is the greatest 80’s movie - fite me)
ReplyDeleteI think there is a rule or maybe a law somewhere that says bald men can't be heros. I think it's a law.
ReplyDeleteWe need a timeframe this is getting out of hand. Next we'll be considering Sean Connery or Betty Page.
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ReplyDelete"This kind of conduct is indicitave of simply unacceptable opinions and fringe lunacy from disturbed individuals! My feelings were also deeply hurt and my self esteem took a beating too."
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"The three Angels on Charlie's Angel were a better action gals then too tall Weaver."
Gah, I see what you mean Glen. Kirsten stewart looks like a fag emo boy on too much heroine.
They replaced poor Tattoo on the new fantasy island with a black lezzie sporting a tattoo. She's chasing after a Mermaid.
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