It never fails. I blearily stumble down the stairs, narrowly avoiding tripping on the dawg underfoot as a go. The dawg dances round me feet, anxious to be outside to do her business. I fight with her to put on my crocs. Finally we get out. Having gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, I angrily note how happy the pup is. I think of all my neighbours… and I think about how they’re all still snug in their beds, or sitting down to a big weekend breakfast. “Eff them ALL!!!” I growl to myself, and fart loudly for emphasis. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is hell.
Then I notice the pretty gal on her doorstep a couple doors down… watching me and smiling… and I want to crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment.
FML.
Embarrassed because of the fart, or the Crocs?
ReplyDeleteHappy Saturday from Gavin's playground.
"...I want to crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment." Tell her the crocs were a gift!
ReplyDeletePuppies are chick magnets.
ReplyDeleteThe crocs reverse the polarity.
DeleteThese might solve the problem:
Deletehttps://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fodditymall.com%2Fincludes%2Fcontent%2Fcowboy-boot-crocs-are-here-to-make-cowpeople-s-dreams-come-true-og.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=dc2e064d122e5854c630af0201021fe67f0e399342613bdc99fc2200c1495590&ipo=images
A good bit of flatulence with loud sound effects and jankiness is one of the little pleasures of life.
ReplyDeleteHad to stop stomping around like an elephant due to pets underfoot and crocs are cool, just hard to find in my size.
An earlier commenter is right, take your animal to the dog walking park and you might meet up with a milk maid!
Looks like she pumped a large quantity this day. She should have left it in for you to gaze at.
ReplyDelete