Friday Fireside Culture Post: Poetry Corner

As the campfire burns low, I would like to thank Wirecutter for his wonderful rendition of 'Here I Sit Broken Hearted'. Poetry like that makes one question the wisdom of coin operated crappers.

Poetry serves many functions culture - from raising political awareness, to inspiring the soul, to feeding the spirit. Now it is my turn to take the lecturn, in an attempt to feed and inspire your souls too. Ladies and gentlemen, please re-fill your glasses, make yourselves comfortable, and grant me your undivided attention whilst I recite a harrowing poem from the homeland of my Scottish ancestors.

 

 

BIG STEVIE HAS THE SHITS AGAIN

 

Big Stevie has the shits again

I cannae use the cludgie

 

He's perched upon the toilet seat,

Half man, half giant budgie

 

Ah told ya, Stevie,

Ya shouldnae huv

the lukewarm Tandoori mince!

 

Now finish before

I kark mah breeks

And give the toilet bowl

A rinse.

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: this poetry comes from an obscure Scottish comedian who I think was Jimmy McNulty. He had a website years ago filled with humorous doggerel, but I can't find it for love or money. If anyone else can find a link I shall post it and accredit the inspired author accordingly.