Gone, But Not Forgotten

100 years ago there used to be this great blog called Die Hipster in which the author paid homage to the hipster in all his greasy, grungy glory! When he wasn't beating them to death with things like spaghetti and broccoli - he immortalized them in song! To start your Tuesday off right, we have a very special tune from Billyburg Joel - sung to the tune of  'The Piano Man'. If anyone has seen this blog revived or reincarnated somewhere else - please let me know! Proper, formal attrition is a must on the Thunderbox!


The Casio Man – Billyburg Joel
It’s 9am on a Wednesday
Emaciated Ethan sleeps in
There’s a tattooed Megan laying next to him
Her job is riding around on a Schwinn

He has arms that resemble celery
And sounds like he talks through his nose
His new art loft is sweet
I read that from his Tweet
He fits into young women’s clothes.

Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.

Now Josh at the bar is a friend of his
He gets him his craft ale for free
He claims to be broke but always has coke
Thank god for that liberal arts degree

He says, “Ethan, I believe this is itching me.”
As he scratched the filthy beard on his face
“One day I’ll be a famous artist,
But for now my dad pays for my place”

Oh, Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Zoey is a waitress practicing smugness
Part time Vegans chew on chicken bones
Yes, they’re sharing with us their pretentiousness.
But it’s better than flying back home.

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.

Now Zach is a real ch*tty novelist
Got held up for his iPhone with a knife
He’s extremely lazy
Got fired from Old Navy
He’ll be in credit card debt for life

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
McCarren’s full of Chloes and Kyles
They’ve done sh*t all week; this park really reeks
And probably will for a while
And the Casio, it sounds like a 5 year old’s
And Ethans body is shaped like a spear
And they sit at the bar – drink from mason jars
And say, “Yah, PBR is the best beer”

Oh, Yah yah yah di di yahhhhh
Yah yah di di yah yahhhhhh

Sing us a song, you’re the Casio man
On the Bedford Ave platform tonight
You claim we hate you out of jealousy
Your beard I’d love to ignite.

 

That was wonderful Billy! Now - if you'll just indulge us, Uncle Bob will be along shortly with a zippo, and I will have the gasoline siphoned from BW's scoot in a thrice! Does anybody have a funnel...?