Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

How To Disgust Women And Get Rid Of Them

 
This thing delights children and old farts but will completely disgust a woman.
Go figure.
 
ALPHA GAME FOR OLD FARTS
 
 
Last year I was hanging out at the RC airfield when Flapz and his latest girlfriend popped by. She temporarily joined us for a quick introduction but soon got bored with us and sat down at a picnic table to text and yak on her phone while we all made nuisances of ourselves. I think today they call it male-bonding or some such rot.
 
We were about to break and go for our planes when Scotty The Retard showed up. Everyone likes Scotty. While he isn't exactly a retard in the 'Emissary From Heaven' way...he is close enough to it for the nickname to stick. And - because he doesn't care one whit about what a bunch of stupid old farts think about him - we get along famously! In any event he had cobbled together some green army soldiers with parachutes - and needed us to find a way to get them aloft.
 
It's harder than it sounds. The skydivers run a serious risk of fouling the props so you need to get them up and then dump them without having them bring down your $400.00 (or more) RC airplane. We hemmed and hawed about it when Rick The Dick came up with a solution. Next thing ya know, the plane is in the air with a cup rubber banded to one wing, and the skydiver inside. When he got up to altitude he rolled the plane over, the skydiver fell out - and we all cheered with gusto at the success of our mission. The wind then caught the skydiver and sent him toward the golf course a mile away from our field - with Scotty The Retard and half the old farts in hot pursuit!
 
With the fun over, I joined Flapz and his girlfriend at the club picnic table where Flapz and I did the high five. Then his girlfriend goes "I don't believe you guys. You're playing with parachute toys..."
 
There was an awkward pause and then all I could do was bellow out laughing! HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR! Looking over at Flapz, though...he had a dark expression on his face. Never saw that girl again. Did Flapz give her the punt? Did she give him the punt? Did they mutually break it off like mature adults, or did Flapz put on a goalie mask, fire up a chainsaw and cut her up into little itty-bitty pieces???
 
I dunno - but she was never heard from or seen again.
 
 
At one time I had this thing looking like a miniature blacked out stealth Death Drone, looking like it was ready to go and send Osama and his rag heads to their virgins and monkey god wholesale! For some unknown reason the thing seemed to just offend people who actually thought it was a serious surveillance machine and not a toy for a stupid old guy. One day they were selling those goofy yellow guys at Rotten Ronald's. I had seen them before flying RC jets worth upward of $20k and figured they would be just right for my Crapcopter. So I had my wife buy one. The next week they had another one so she had to buy a Kids Meal to get it too. Then they came up with a third one so she had to buy another kids meal to get that one too. She cheated on her diet, then came home and I got the toys! It was a win for everyone! Now these three yellow goobers delight pretty much any that see them. Surprisingly - they have no impact on the machine's performance at all.
 
I'm beginning to think that Scotty isn't the only retard at our RC club.

10 comments:

  1. I once had a girlfriend who simply could not shoot a pistol. That relationship ended pretty fast.

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  2. I once had a girlfriend who simply could not shoot a pistol. That relationship ended pretty fast.

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  3. The Minions are an interesting touch.

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    1. They are awesome.

      We rented a movie where the Brits were going to hand them in the Tower Of London for trying to steal the Queen's Crown ... and they turned the torture chamber into a playground. They swung from the noose on the gallows, did therapeutic stretching on the rack, and laughed and giggled like demented children all the while. It's easy to see why the kids love them.

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  4. Didn't have that fancy-schmancy flyin' machine - we dropped them out the attic window. Or used a slingshot...

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    1. That would suffice for a reasonably intelligent 8 year old girl like yourself, CM.

      When you are a 50 year old man working with 20 year old intellectuals like Scotty The Retard and respected modellers like Rick The Dick...the game changes a bit! ;)

      The Crapcopter is not your average drone. It's actually a V-Tail quadcopter that is so aerodynamically inefficient - that most respectable RC guys don't bother with them. It flies in direct contravention of common sense - which makes it perfect for me and my Minions!

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  5. 8 years old - Ha! I was a terror back then....

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  6. I dig it man. I just got into quads too. My wife bought me a cheap one to learn to fly and crash before I got an expensive one to fly and crash. I'd say that there's not much more I can do in the current cheapo model. I mean, let's be honest, how many barrel rolls and flips can you do before it gets old? The set up I want to build is for racing with a heads up display in the goggles.

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    1. Hey - thanks for dropping by, Stackz! Yep - those 250 quads are super fast! Too fast for my blood! I tried FPV with that Mobius camera on the V Tail but there was a time delay caused by latency that made it a complete bitch to handle. I am going to a new board mounted camera for FPV and using the Mobius strictly to record. I'm hoping this bigger machine won't be as twitchy and snappy as those little racers...I am going to have to work up to those...

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    2. Honestly Glen, what made me kind of a natural at the quad flying was all of the helicopter piloting that I've done over the years gaming on XBox, via Battlefield 3 and Battlefield 4. One does not pick up a controller out of the shoot and fly it like they stole it either. Thinking in first person view is tough to accomplish, especially while in a hard bank turn going diagonally backwards and looping back.

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