Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 27 May 2016

There's Gonna Be A Dunkin'

Well my wife seems to have found God and has even managed to drag my raggedy arse into church. Just to set foot in a church set me on edge because I have been raised by people that hate religion almost as much as the Mohave Rat does. The Rat and my liberal family are all wrong about Christians, of course. My dealings with them have been nothing short of neighbourly. There's no pressure, no bullshit - so far. They are starving for numbers - when I went the church was half empty but it was encouraging. Sure, there were a lot of old farts but it made me feel good to see so many kids. They're wonderful folk too - the young men are big strapping brutes trying to puzzle their way through their bibles and their wives are pretty gals with beautiful kids. During the break the little ones chimped out and the old farts barked at them like baboons - it looked like a symbiotic relationship going on there. The old stogies like bitching at the kids and the kids liked tormenting them. :) I fell in love with these people the moment I saw them. They seemed to be good with me too. Next time I might even toss out a prayer for my daughter...

But ya know - when I went to church I didn't expect to find God. I know that somebody had to light the fuse on the Big Bang, and although I've never spoken with God or seen a miracle - I can feel that there is one. It's good enough for me. My wife is convinced and quite often she perceives things I do not. She's decided to get baptized this weekend.

I dunno what to buy for these kind of things! I went to the store and they had ones festooned with diamonds costing thousands and thousands of dollars and something about that just sat wrong with me. I think the chain is 14 kt. and the crucifix is 22kt but I dunno - but it's simple and elegant - like her. I thought something like this should be easy but when it comes to fashion and taste - I have been threatened with legal action by offended women and children and fashion police. (I will so tuck my goddamned pants into my socks if I feel like it! When you're three stories up on a steel I beam you don't want your pant legs tripping you up. And I'll wear my damned hard hat if I want too! I'm bald, I wear hats. Deal with it!)

GAH1 Unfortunately I am going to have to deal with my potty mouth too or  I'll certainly go to hell with shitbirds like Uncle Bob, Stackz O. Mags and Flapz! HAR HAR HAR!!! Okay, alright already - I will wag a civil tongue in my head if possible! But - no guarantees! Misbehaviour could break out at any time!

I hope the wife will like it. After the crud we've been through the last couple years she deserves a break and if she can find it with the church I will be behind her 100%.


  1. You have surprised me again with one of your posts. I think simple and elegant is an excellent choice, especially for this event.

  2. Your wife will love it and you. Under that hard hat is a very, very thoughtful and kind man.

  3. I lucked out! She loved it!!!

    Maybe I should quit my day job and take my rightful place as a designer? Pierre Cardan is advised that there is a new kid on the block!