Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 8 August 2016

When They're Moving That Fast...

...they're called skeet!

Years ago I was out hunting in BW country down by CFB Wainwright. I was at the height of my shooting career and had even eclipsed my mentor in the sport - Baloney Bob. He literally taught me to shoot and reload... and his proudest moment was when I spanked Skin Bag at a rifle rodeo. Skinbag was a braggart and a notorious cheat that delighted in humiliating Bob and when I kicked his ass late one August on the range - well, I was ready to go hunting with ol' Bob.

I tagged out on that trip and made the best and worst shot of my illustrious shooting career - the boys had scared up a couple white tails and they were bounding across the field I was traversing at speeds approaching those in the pic above. I put the lead animal down with one shot from my graceful Ruger No. 1 single shot rifle. That little doe didn't even twitch - and the boys started hollering and hooting their congratulations from about 500 yards away - where they had seen everything. "Taught him everything he knows...!!" Bob gloated. "All hail The Mighty Filthie!" Rotten Rod bleated.

But everything went for a chit when we came upon the downed critter. "Filthie," Bob gasped, "That isn't a white tailed deer - that's a friggin Chi Hau Hau! You should be ashamed of yourself for shooting such a puny critter!" Rotten Rod, goddamn his wretched soul, started chortling and trying to console me by saying "Oh, it's not that bad...I'm sure Filthie will get a burger or two out of it... and look on the bright side - we'll have it dressed and skinned in 10 minutes! FNAH! FNAH! FNAH!" Rod had the most annoying laugh of anyone I've ever met! "More like 5 minutes," Bob groused, as he pulled his knife. "Go get your Jeep, Filthie - and be ashamed of yourself!" And with that, he snidely relieved me of my flask. Bastard.

To this day I'm still angry and furious about it. The Great And Powerful Glen Filthie does NOT shoot Chi Hoo Hoos, and anything those two cretins say to the contrary is a damned lie!!!!

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