Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 23 February 2017

A Manly Business Day

Ahhhhhhhhh. Days like today are one of the life's great pleasures and makes me thankful for being a man.

Yesterday was a complete chit burger - I pulled into the office in the morning and my new manager that I've been fighting with and training - is just fed up with the owners and the bullchit of the job and I don't blame him. Like many men that spend too much time behind a desk, he is hung up on procedure and methods - and that is totally understandable, they have to be in place for a business to run - but he goes nuts when I and the senior management leap outside the box to get a job done. When I dispense with the rule book it often means extra work for him. As gently as I could I told him that the idea was to make a buck.... not make sure his paper work was all teed up, nice and neat for the bean counters. Now the comptroller back east hates him almost as much as he hates me and nobody needs enemies like that! I see his point entirely and I told him flat out that if he was to start developing an ulcer or start having strokes on the job, I would fire him and no bones about it! Poor Al - he tried to smile. He needs more help but he's so damn picky he doesn't like any of the resumes he's getting. I dunno what to tell him. Then the outside salesman came in, in the afternoon, and one of my idiot customers is trying to poach him from us. I just threw my hands up in despair - guys gotta do what's good for them, and after our idiot national sales manager blew through here last week and shat on everyone for doing a superlative job - it's no wonder people are looking. I probly should be too.

This morning Rotten Rod the gunsmith called and said the Retirement Rifle was ready - I just had some precision Vernier Soule Sights mounted so that I can pop Yankees, buffalo, injuns and other game animals at long distance! HAR HAR HAR! Okay, I lied - I will almost certainly be shooting steel or paper targets with it.

There she is.

Rotten Rod is a creepy old man to look at. He's got a mouth on him that can set water on fire too - and I just worship the man. His dingy shop is PACKED with the precision machine tools and when I go in there we exchange the obligatory insults - and then start talking about the best things. I even quoted him on some cutting tools and he called me names - but will keep me in mind.

Then he was b*tching about how he had run out of snoose. I used to chew Copenhagen when I was a kid and quit about 15 years ago to graduate to cigars - and then quit everything about 8 years ago. I was absolutely stunned - did you know a tin of snoose is going for $25.00 now...?!?!? HFS!!!! "Rod," I said, "How do you afford to buy this chit? I love it too but got tired of being anally raped when it was at $8.00 per tin! 25 bucks???? WTF????"

Rod just lit up - "I got a wrinkle, Filthie!" It turns out he gets his snoose from Scandihoovia or some such place and the country of orign allows him to bring it in under the radar without tariffs and such.  It's apparently better snoose, and he only pays $15.00 (including shipping) a tin for it... it's called "Odin" and is a much finer grind than Copenhagen and has an elevated nicotine content. He passed the tin over and I smelled it - and it was heaven. I would have loved to have dug in and chawed up like I did when I was a kid... but I'm too smart to get addicted to tobacco ever again. Reluctantly, I passed it back. Some gubbermint turdie will find out about Rotten Rod's Wrinkle eventually and shut it down - but for now, Rod is chewing on borrowed time, HAR HAR HAR!

Since when did snoose start costing $25.00 a tin?!?!
Fuggin liberals - no wonder tobacco theft is the crime that
it is in Canada!
And - good grief!!! PLASTIC tins???
Somebody should be shot for that...

Then we have another project rifle to do. I bought a Uberti 1876 Centennial Rifle in the obsolete .45-75 cartridge (not a typo - .45-75, not .45-70). I bought it off some shit head on the Canadian Gunnutz and he sold me the gun with a botched trigger job - without saying so up front. For years I have been trying to buy a replacement hammer for it without success - but this morning, out of the blue - the boys at Taylor's down in the US got one in and now it's on it's way up to me! Woo hoooooo!!!! I will have Rotten Rod put a Soule sight on it too.

One would think this gun to be an American thing - it is called The Centennial Rifle after all - but not many people realize that the Canadian RCMP were using a carbine variant of this gun back at the turn of the century. I am probably one of less than a dozen people in Canada that has a good supply of brass for this obsolete old girl. If you can get it, it goes for around $80.00 for 20 brass - if you can find it. I have about 200 of them and stoking this dreamboat with black powder...they should last me a long, long time.

Before I knew it my &^%$@ cell phone was going and I had to take my rifle and go. If I win a million dollars on 649... I will friggin QUIT my job with the other two stooges and go to work for Rotten Rod for $5.00/hour just to play with the machines.

Funny how a visit with real men, discussing real matters - refreshes the soul and brightens the outlook. All I know is that it made my day! Keep your hands, jokes and mind dirty, and your rifles clean, boys.


  1. I used to have a gunsmith like that, but he moved to the wrong side of the river and retired. Now he's dead. He shouldn't have moved, I think it's the air over there.

    1. We don't have many real gunsmiths in Alberta, Pete. In the whole province, we have Rotten Rod, Grampa Smith - famed for his gain twist barrels, and Karl Schmidt.

      None of 'em are training any new talent either! If I was smart I would go to school and buy one of them out in about 5 years...