Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Falls Are Serious Business For Hale And Hearty Young Men Too

Awhile back, Pop took a spill while out with the dog. He's in his mid 70's and a fall at that age is no laughing matter the way it is with ruggedly handsome young men like us! The old bugger was black and blue and red all over from a simple face plant! I gave him supreme shit for it but he just sat and smirked. Perhaps he was tickled by the way sons show love for their fathers. Perhaps he was revelling in the role reversal - when I was a kid he had kiniptions with my early attempts at flight, tree climbing, etc.

So yesterday I was out on Dawn Dawg Patrol when I slipped on a patch of glaze ice and landed on gracelessly my arse! I woulda been fine but the next thing I know, Mort is shoving his snout in my face and Macy's on the other side sniffling and blowing in my ear and I can't even get up because the damned dawgs are in my face checking me over! Not one - but TWO snotty, moist dog noses! GAH! After that, all the way home, they walked on egg shells with exaggerated care to make sure they didn't pull me off balance and make me fall again.

When we got home Mort wouldn't leave my side and I had to pet him and tell him I was alright and to buzz off and leave me alone. I wonder if those two turd factories were actually concerned about me out of love and care - or just checking over an essential piece of kit for their Patrols. Macey knew I was alright within minutes, and she has an incredible vocabulary and smarts for a dog. She's a collie/alley cat mixed breed that is the smartest dog I've ever known. By contrast, Mort is a few IQ points south of the Polar Bear in the pic above. (He looks alot like that galoot too). He's probly the DUMBEST dog I've ever met but he makes up for it in heart. Maybe Macey regards me as an expendable piece of equipment and Mort loves me? It would certainly back up my hypothesis about their respective intellects...

In any event, you oldsters - go walk indoors at the mall or the gym and you younger fellas - if ya have small dogs, make sure they are out front so ya don't accidentally fall on 'em. 'Tis the season for painful comedy and hilarity...


  1. The dogs love you. Dogs are capable of complex emotions, the same as humans.

  2. How right you are Mr. Emery. I am amazed more and more about animals' emotions, their intelligence, their adaptability.

  3. Yup. Macey has a huge vocabulary. A couple hundred words at least. We had friends that raise "Shutzenhounds" - specially trained German Shepherds that do fighting and biting, tracking and obstacle courses - it's a sport requiring super athletic high energy dogs that cost many thousands of dollars as pups.
    My mutt could go head to head with any of them and it galled their owners no end. Today I've largely let the Dog Obedience thing slide and Macey is just a household mutt like Mort - and she seems much happier for it...