Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Shades Of Pa Filthie

When I was a kid my Dad was a big wheel in hobby farm country. That was because he had a mint condition 1964 3 cylinder diesel Massey Ferguson tractor with a full blown front end loader and a three point hitch.

The neighbours up the road raised registered Appaloosa horses and since Pop and I wanted one a deal was struck - we would fence one of their horse pastures in exchange for a foal scheduled to drop next spring.

Pop always paid up front, on time or better yet, ahead of time and I was enslaved to make sure we kept that family tradition intact at all costs. Summer was busy and we had to get done fast because we had a crop of hay coming off in a mere few weeks. We had to knock down the old barb wire fence and put in a new one. Getting the old rusty wire off and coiled was pretty easy and only cost me a few gallons of blood - and Pop took care of the posts. He had that almighty '64 MF tractor and all he did was run at the old rotting posts with the bucket down and snap 'em off like tooth pics. He put 'er in 2 high, eased out the clutch and then boogied along with nary a care in the world! Crack! Snap! Crunch! The old posts broke and were flung aside and I drove along behind and picked them up and threw them in the back of the truck .

I didn't see it... but I heard it. "Crack! Snap! Pop! Crunch! BOOOOOOM!!!!" Pop had stalled the Mighty Massey Ferguson - by hitting a mighty post that wasn't dry and rotten! "Son of a..." Pop trailed off. I told him to get a chain on it and we'd pull it with the front end loader - and Pop told me to stifle myself. "That boar is going down, Glen! Watch this...!"

He started up, backed up about 100 yards, reved the Mighty MF - and let 'er rip! He doubled clutched through all the gears and hit top end just in time to meet the post!


Pop hit that post again but that sucker refused to budge and shut both him and the Mighty MF down in spades. The proud little tractor wasn't even fazed by the impact - but Pop was headed over the front cowl when his hips caught on the steering wheel and he was slammed face down on top of the front end! His cigarette was munched into his face and even I could see the tweety birds and stars swimming around his head.

Filthie's Law states that all fathers are ass holes and my Dad was no exception. I am still mad to this day that he sold that stout little tractor for a bigger and flashier Case. It is my contention that any tractor that can shrug off TWO high speed impacts without even a dent - is definitely a keeper.


  1. Massey's used to be good tractors. They're probably made by mooslims or hindoos now though.

    1. The old ones fetch insane prices now Gorges. The yuppies on the hobby farms can't get enough of them and restoring them is a major sport now.

  2. Having built my share of fence, I'm a little surprised that he'd try to pull off something like that. Even with a rotted out fence, you can get yourself into real trouble - as you saw.

    I'll assume you got the fence up on or ahead of schedule. What kind did you build? Split rail?

    1. All we did was replace a failing barbwire fence WL. When it came to farming we were amateurs but we put up good tight fences and we got done in plenty of time.

      I used to be a hard worker. Emphasis on 'used to be' ...