Sunday, 12 February 2017
Today's Political Epiphany
The media NEVER lies.
They ALWAYS, always... tell the truth.
Oh lookit. A poll.
Conducted by the fags at The National Post, no less, who want EVERYONE to know how much Canadians hate Trump and love Turdo La Doo - our current swine minister. The Bayou Renaissance Man is pissed at the media, Kate is ripped and yesterday I was griping about it too. Gawd, I would love to see these media assholes herded onto a barge, floated out to sea and TORPEDOED 20 miles off shore!
Yesterday at coffee King Peter The Great (our Peter, not the Bayou Renaissance Man) just laughed as I moaned and groaned about the media and the growing infestation of leftist morons on the social media like Fecesbook and Twatter. (Neither of which I use - but I was an old man grumping).
King Peter cast a mighty frown. "Look, Mary," he said to his wife, "Filthie is so stupid and silly, that I have to pull my glasses out of my pocket, take them out of the case and put them on to make me look like a scholarly professor - and lecture this clueless rube on things that should be instinctively obvious." Then the pernicious Polak poltroon made an agonizing, hateful show of pulling out his reading glasses, polishing the lenses, and then setting them on his face.
Assuming a gravely serious expression, he goes "Truly, Glen," with an infuriating condescending tone, "why do you get worked up? These people are so obviously idiots, and even when they lie they tell the truth. You just need to stop getting mad, and listen to them and read them the right way."
It was a truth that hit with the power of a Clue Bat! Try it! Try it yourself!
Fukishima? All's well, slow news day, nothing to worry about. You're welcome, Bayou Renaissance Man! Another pantload of staggeringly stupid media twaddle dealt with by your Friendly Neighbourhood Captain Sweatpants!
As for Trump VS Turdo: did the gay hipsters, the elderly socialist beardos and the ethnic floatsam and jetsam of the liberal left in Toronto ever tell ya how much they HATE Donald Trump? Well they certainly do! As for everyone else, we Canadians love him as much as you Yanks do - and we have a poll to prove it! You're welcome, Kate! No, no need for you and your Small Dead Animals to thank me! Captain Sweatpants is always on duty!
And thanks to King Peter! There is so much WIN with this mindset. Liberal assholes in the media are forced to be useful despite themselves, and we get the straight poop with lowered blood pressure. Don't recoil with rage and try to reason with these assholes. Use them. Yes, you can troll them for fun but only after you've made use of 'em.
Have a good Sunday.