Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

A Fine May Long Weekend

It has been something of a family tradition for us to go camping on the May Long Weekend over the years. May is early spring for us up here; usually the snow is all gone by May, but it isn't uncommon to get a final dump of snow - or to have the typical shitty early-spring weather with cold rain and winds. Some folks I know used the long weekend to get their gardens in but most of them have wised up. The weather gods get prankish in May and are not to be trusted farther than you can throw 'em.

The Friday before a long weekend can bring out the shithead in people on the road. On the way out, every second moron decided that speed limits and traffic laws didn't apply to them and the result was pure road rage. I was driving fast for me - about 10 KPH over the limit like pretty much everyone else - and we almost had a couple pile ups because some fuckhead wanted to pass everyone and do 140 KPH rather than 110, and they were willing to literally risk their lives and mine to do it. I had a mixture of moron redneck kids in jacked up diesel 4x4's and yuppie faggots in Audis try to kill me on the way out! They would pull out to pass go as far as they could and then cut back in to avoid oncoming traffic... and promptly get stuck behind the next guy who refused to drive like an idiot. The guy they cut off would have to stand on his brakes as did everyone behind him. It used to be that it was legal here for slow pokes like me to pull over into the break down lane and let speeders pass. But some turd brained bureaucrat decided that was dangerous and now we have rumble strips and laws to forbid it. Go figure.

All that changed when we got to camp, though. These campers go up faster than it takes to think about it, and you can have the lawn chairs, dawgs and beers deployed in no time at all. We had excellent weather, and everyone had a good time.

Macey The Monster...

Sentry dawg... he looks like a poofy little
lap dog here but he is actually a Great Pyranese with a pig shave
and weighs 106 lbs.
Mort loves everyone and pretty much everyone likes Mort.

So in short, all I got done this weekend is fly Crapcopters, waste ammunition and filter beer through my kidneys. Packing up was a whiz too. In about half an hour we had everything packed up and the place so clean you could never tell we were there in the first place.

The good life with a good wife...

Time to go home. Finally everything is green again. Maybe I'm
just getting old but that last winter was a long one.
My RetireMINT Rig is ready to move out!

Summer is finally here. When I got home the grass was 8 feet tall but I also had a spectacular surprise waiting for me at home too!

This is my crab tree. Every two years she blossoms out
and every bumble bee in the neighbourhood
stops by for a drink.
The blossoms only last a few days though and will
be gone with the next stiff wind. It was a treat to come home to.

So while the wife unpacked, I attacked the grass and finished off the long weekend with some chores. When I finally hit the shower I had three days worth of bug dope, campfire smoke, BO and grass clippings to wash off.

Once I got cleaned up and sat down to my computer - I noticed BW had an emergency e-mail waiting for me on my inbox! Yet another treat! It seems he was exploring around Alberta and found a Bed & Breakfast that catered to my kind of clientele:

BW didn't want to publish this one on his blog. I can't imagine why; I don't see
anything inappropriate about it...
I will check it out once BW gives me directions, HAR HAR HAR!!!

 Bah. The bad thing about good long weekends is that ya gotta go back to work afterward! HAR HAR HAR!!! Have a good Tuesday everyone.


  1. Glad you got a break from life's BS, Glen.

    1. Thank you Gorges. I hope that hogwash with your healthcare got sorted out?

  2. I would have published it. I think you would have appreciated it more which is why I sent it.

  3. Oh I'm sorry BW! I misunderstood! I thought your blog was all about artful photographic composition and travel, and that primitive redneck art was outside your scope...😆

    1. I have quite the redneck background. Nothing wrong with rednecks.