Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 1 May 2017


I know people that can't handle snakes. Never understood that myself. For me - I can't handle bugs. Bees are okay now, but wasps and spiders creep me out and I will either kill them or run away gobbling in fright! When I was a kid running around in bare feet I stepped on a bumble bee and got stung - I still remember the enraged buzzing and the blinding pain... I must have been three or four. My mother says I stomped that poor thing into past as I screamed and flapped in dismay but I don't remember that part. It's one of those 'half-memories' of early childhood that you can't fully recall as an adult. Somehow I got over my fear of bees but retained my fear of the other creepy crawlers.

I could do it now... but there was a time it might well have been nigh on impossible. It would have ended up being something like this:


  1. My wife hates spiders and bees. Living up against the local groves, we get plenty of both. Bees are bees, but some of the spiders here are just a shade smaller than tarantulas. You could damned near saddle 'em! It always happens at night. I'm throttling back, perhaps reading a book, when I hear that all-too-familiar scream of "PETE!!! THERE'S A SPIDER!!!! KILL IT!!! So I head out to the garage, or the back porch, and I step on the thing. Then I ask her why she won't do that. She says she can't. Who knows? All I do know is that these spiders are so big that when I do step on them, there's a carcass left to scrape off the ground afterward. I mean; these things won't even stick to my shoes! Even the ants, which will usually carry off squished bugs, won't go near these things!

    I pulled a piece of wood off the scrap heap by the barn last week, and one of these damned things was trying to hide in the crack between two other pieces of wood. Its apricot-sized ass was sticking up out of the crack for God and country to see... Fatal design/brain flaw...

    Yep... We got spiders...

  2. my spouse would die.
    it would have to be my daughter and then i'd still have the nightmares even though she was saved.

    1. What did your husband do this time, DH? ;)

  3. well, he ain't no blood kin, in spite of me bein' from the South, and i am literally terrified out of my mind by most spiders.
    on the other hand, daughter is my favorite human being and i hope i would have the guts to save her even though losing all bowel control in the process.
    i am a scaredy cat.