Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 4 May 2017

The Need To Lash Out And Domestic Violence

I may have told this story before. Old farts tend to do that, but it was one of the high points of my career and one of my most glorious of glory days.

A couple years back (has it honestly been that long?) Dirty Dave, our lead tech, came up to me in a flather. "I've had it with these cheap bastards at this company, Glen! I want some bloody flashlights for the shop, and GOOD ones! These damned junkers from China Mart work a time or two - and then they fall apart!"

Ol' Dave was in a flather of a snit so I told him to shut up and threw a Gregg's catalogue at him. I told him to pick some out and I would go buy them for him when I had time. Anything to shut the old bastid up, right? So he went into the catalogue, and picked out a couple models for me to buy. Gregg's is an industrial supplier and the catalogue we had - had no prices for some reason. I thought nothing of it and went down and bought the damn flashlights and then gave them to Dave. 'There ya go, ya big baby,' I said to myself. Dave took his flashlights and was happy as a clam.

Later that month I was doing my company expenses and came across the bill for the flashlights. Holy shit!!!! $300.00 and change!!! for 5 flashlights?!?!? WTF??? Old Jim was gonna fire me out of a cannon when he saw that! But - it was legit ... sort of. Flashlights now are a fashion accessory for the typical tactical yuppie and are made with Xenon diodes, 316L stainless steel and who knows what else! Oh no! Lord, was I ever in for it!

You didn't screw around with guys like Jim Sr.

A. He's a damned nice guy under that grumpy and gruff exterior
B. He's a lethal bastard if you give him cause to be

I came clean, put a note in with the expenses pointing out the error - and asked Jim to give me thirty or forty bucks, I would eat the rest and forget about it. Predictably the CEO called me up and demanded how a stupid sonofabitch like me managed to rack up $300.. on half a dozen flashlights - so I told him the whole sob story. When I paid for them I didn't even look at the bill, I was on my cell, paying for shop supplies and running late and not concentrating on the job in front of me. I told him again that it was all my fault and I would eat the bill. He made a curt farewell and hung up and I thought that was the end of it. The next thing I heard - was Jim reaming out The Crack over the phone about it! I think Jim Sr. wanted to kill somebody and he couldn't do it to me because I was honest - so he figured he would beat up The Crack instead! HAR HAR HAR!!! The Crack got reamed right out for my stupidity and I figured it was all worth it for the comedy value alone! I was astonished later on when Jim picked up the tab for my little mistake too! If there is any feeling BETTER than watching some poor, hapless, innocent slob paying for your mistakes - I dunno what it is! But for whatever reason, Jim Sr. needed to lash out at someone ... and The Crack was there!

I rehash and reheat all this hogwash because I saw the exact same thing happen at Coopville! CM bought a few new hens for her flock, which outraged the old hens - and King Charlie got crapped on in spades for it! HAR HAR HAR!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Listen to that racket!
King Charles is getting REAMED for the presence of two new hens - and he had
nothing to do with it, HAR HAR HAR!!!
Or maybe Jim Sr. and The Crack have moved into the hen house
in Coopville - because they sure sound a lot alike... :)

I'm sorry, there should be a point or moral of this story I suppose, but I haven't had my morning coffe and my brain's still vapour locked. Have a great Thursday.


  1. There's an old saying; If you want good, clean oats, you gotta pay a fair price. On the other hand, if you want oats that have already been through the horse, well, they're a little cheaper.

    Yer boss needs to get used to today's cost of decent stuff, Glen. When you use flashlights every single day, crappy flashlights are just that; CRAPPY! $300.00 for six flashlights works out to $50.00 per light. Even a AA "Mini-Maglite" goes for about $25.00US. That's cheap these days! And the AA Mini-Maglite LED is a piece of crap. I shytecanned three of those before buying the one I have now. It sucks, but nothing's cheap anymore. The one hanging on my belt ran me about $90.00US, and there ain't a soul on God's green Earth who who would mistake me for a tactical yuppie. Hell; most people walking by my hovel at work are tempted to prod me to see if I have a pulse; not because i'm lazy, but because I'm OLD! I just point my flashlight at 'em and blind them for the rest of the day! Like I said; when you use a flashlight every day...

    Your henhouse looks STRIKINGLY like mine! I took the same "What the hell do I have lying around here" approach when building it. Hens are brutal to newcomers...

    1. Hmpffff.

      I may have spoken in error, Pete. I got along fine with Mag Lite but then again, I don't work with them the way tradesmen like you do. Back in the day I got hooked on head lamps both for the hard hat and for camping/fishing/hunting... and I never looked back.
      The ones I see at the gunstore are running $150.00 Canukistani... and that always struck me as extravagant... but they just flew off the shelves the second they came in.

      That henhouse isn't mine - it's King Charlie's of Coopville and was probly built by Chiken Mom and her hubby.

    2. You should try the headband headlamps marketed by Energizer. Those things are friggin' great! They're bright as hell. It's like having a car headlight on your head. I keep one in the Jeep, and another in the truck I pull the Tiltin' Hilton with. They're at their best when you're changing a tire, working under the hood, or hooking up the outside world to your camper at night. And they take plain old AAA batteries. You can usually get them 2/$15.00US at "home improvement" stores. Dirty Dave would approve...