Restless

Warren and Diane are moving.

They've lived two doors down from us for the last 17 years. Where did the time go? When she was small, their daughter used to fawn and coo over our dogs. Pandemonium broke out over there when they bought two Jack Russell Terriers years ago. Warren is a big wheel at the church in that he walks that Christian walk all the way. Apparently they do missionary work down on Whyte Ave which is where street kids from broken homes usually wind up and get hooked on drugs and prostitution and  petty crime. Apparently they've made some spectacular saves there too.

He worked for the City Of Aaaaadmontin and she worked at the bakery around the corner in Sobeys. I watched them and their antics, and their kids for 17 years. They weren't a focus for me or anything, but they are part of that background noise that sets up in life, and they made a certain sound that you take for granted and pretty much ignore - until it's gone, then ya REALLY notice it!

Warren retired, his wife quit the bakery and they're moving back to her family out in Nova Scotia on the other side of the country. Apparently Diane's mother is 91.We said our good-byes last night and I asked Warren how he could do that - just cast 17 years of roots and moss aside - and head out? He has no fear, he was happy to see his wife home among her kin, and he said that if it didn't work they could always come back. Apparently he can make a home and a life wherever he damn well pleases - and I believe him.

And I envy him too.

After saying goodbye last night we went in the house for the night and I looked at myself in the mirror. A fat, bald old fart looked back and we measured each other up. Our own family is broke up and scattered on the winds. My daughter is a homosexual drama queen and militant social justice warrior being a gay artiste out in Vancouver somewhere. Horrible to say, but I really don't want to see her again. My own in-laws had a part in that and undermined me as a father and as a husband. They aren't welcome in my home and family and we haven't seen those a-holes in two years now either. My folks are still around but we keep each other at arm's length. I'm worried sick about my job - the economy is bad enough, but our management seems hellbent of destroying my branch in Alberta.

On the plus side - my wife and I survived some very, very rocky times that usually split most couples these days. We have no debt, some savings and although we can't retire - we don't have to let our employers give us ulcers or heart problems. We have two good vehicles, a camper and a nice motorcycle. We certainly aren't rich... but we're free. But all my life, I've been so damn focused on paying the bills, keeping up with the Joneses, and keeping the bosses happy... and that in addition to trying to keep a family together that was going slowly insane. I've got all my toys now, and can keep as busy as I want to be in the leisure hours. If I get laid off I am going either camping or on a motorcycle road trip.

There is nothing holding us here. And yet I feel the weight of shackles and chains even though I can't see them. Sometimes the grass IS greener on the other side of the fence.

Well isn't THAT just a fine Monday? Early in the morning, and the rotten wood between my ears is already beginning to smolder! You have a great Monday - as for me, I have some thinking to do.