I think I may have finally found a replacement for Unca Bob - may God rest his soul. There's an interesting post up at The Z Blog (that's prounounced 'zed' BTW, you uncouth Yanks) about the vagaries of the aging process on today's modern women. And of course the talk turned to the idea of the male 'mid-life crisis' and how us fellas obviously deal with it so much better than the ladies.
Yannow I never really thunk about it much...but I think the idea of the male mid-life crisis is a pile of bunk - probably concocted by bitter, middle aged feminist women to explain why their husbands dumped them. First things first: the tired old trope I have is this - somewhere around middle age men come to the horrible realization that they are over the hill. They've probably plateaued at work. At home the kids are older and independent and don't need them anymore. Their wives are older and less attractive in their middle age - and supposedly this all melts the fella's mind, so he loses his chit, goes out and buys a 'Vette and gets a well stacked younger lady and roars off into the sunset to chase his lost youth.
I don't think so. First a few facts: 80% of all divorces are started by the wife. 25% of all North American women are on anti-depressants. In divorce court, the almost universal truth is that the man goes to the cleaners and the woman goes to the bank. All of the older guys I see driving 'Vettes are geezers and grey hairs and most of them are happily married. Younger men going through the divorce grinder typically can't afford a Vette after the courts get through with them. At least I haven't seen any.
My experience was that when I was in my mid 40's I started slowing down. After work I wanted to go home to a good supper, maybe putter around in the shop downstairs, do some yard work or walk the dogs and go to bed. Most of my friends are exactly the same. Oh sure, I wasn't dead and still liked to perv out over the sight of young hotties but in the real world - lord, I did not want to be in the dating game at that stage of my life. If I HAD gotten divorced, the thought of dating a young bubblegummer just didn't appeal - it would be like growing up all over again. I want to crash into my chair after work, not go bar hopping or staying out all night long like youngsters do. Sure I wouldn't mind a new Corvette... but I would rather have my money in savings rather than have it tied up in something like that.
Here is what I think happens in cases where marriages fracture due to a 'mid-life crisis': The guy has a tough job. When he goes home he finds the house is a pigsty. He can't relate to his kids because the progtard social engineers have set the kids up with all kinds of self inflicted 'issues'. There is no supper waiting for him because the old lady is out with the hens and has no time for him. Supper is whatever he can get out of the can and into a microwave. Dirty dishes are piled in the sink. His in-laws are abusive, invasive and disrespectful. If he tries to correct any of the problems he is mocked and derided and called names. If he spanks his kids, he's a dangerous child abuser. If he asks the in laws to respect the boundaries between families, he's abusive toward the elderly. If he starts cleaning up the dishes and the house he's called 'pussy-whipped' and a 'girlie-man'. If he tries to raise his kid right he's a homophobe if he discourages perversion in the kid. If he tries to keep his kid away from drugs or sluts he's seen as an arrogant patriarch.
And something like this? That's just the icing on the cake.
All of a sudden, blowing a good chunk of your life's savings on a Vette doesn't look like a bad idea. And maybe a new start with a new woman - any woman, even a younger one - looks mighty attractive.
I only had a few of those problems in my marriage and it was enough to make me consider an exit strategy despite all that I had invested in my family. When other problems started to pop up I took stock, examined my alternatives and drew my line in the sand. Fortunately for me my wife did too and she stood with me when I did that. Further - she took the lead in repairing the problems we had in our marriage and I love her now more than I did thirty years ago. She got me into a church where I met sane people and there's even a spot for me in their community if I want it. Long story short - I lucked out.
I think women are far more obsessed with youth and beauty than men are. For me - now in my 50's, I don't see the wrinkles or extra pounds on my wife anymore than I notice the bald fat tard I see in the mirror every morning. She is still as beautiful to me as she was when she was 16. I hope her husband goggles are as good as my wife-goggles.
From where I sit there's no such thing as a 'mid-life crisis' - just deperate, heart broken men throwing away a failed investment and looking for a chance to start a new and better one.
But whadda I know?
Happy Friday! And take the wife out for supper! If she compains about the waste of money on such an extravagance, tell her I said it was alright!
'Yer a good man, Mr. Filthie. You really are. Your wife chose well.ReplyDelete
I have been reading thezman for ages. I am surprised you have not found him earlier. I also do not believe in the midlife crisis. As for dating at this age (I am older than you) it is a strange experience. I am finding I would rather be single.ReplyDelete
I'm considering a motorcycle.
Hey Jack is there something wrong with your blog? I can't seem to open it on my computer...Delete
Not that I can see.Delete
Hey you guys - thanks for coming by!ReplyDelete
Caption for photo:ReplyDelete
"So honey, does that mean yes?"