Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Good Hunting There, Sport!

Up here in Canada we are much more heavily pozzed by political correctness than you ignernt Yanks down south. When I was a kid back in the 80's I had a job in a sweat shop diverse and vibrant workplace assembling electrical switchgear. We had 'em all: kikes, dykes, packies, wackies, chinks n' dinks, clippers, Dippers - in all your favourite frooty colours of the rainbow! HAR HAR HAR!

And of course - our multicultural shop works the way multicultural societies do: the packies stuck to themselves, as did the chinks and arabs. All the groups hated each other and any kind of serious team work was impossible.

One day I ran some paperwork up front to the office and spied some paperwork on the fax machine - and found a treasure trove of multicultural dynamite!

Today we have email jokes that get passed around and go viral. Back then the fax machine was a means for enjoying off colour and dirty jokes - but ya had to get 'em before the management did! On our fax machine, I found the Alberta Fish & Game 1985 Hunting Regulations - For Minorities. It was awesome. Some of the highlights:
  • It is unlawful, in the province of Alberta, to hunt or trap packies, chinks or other coloured minorities within 50m of a K-Mart
  • In the event of a road killed 9 iron, bucket head, clipper or chug - if approved by the Fish & Game Minister, you may keep the meat and the carcass but the province gets the hide
  • Trapping minorities with ethnic food is prohibited. Prohibited bait sources include (but at not limited to) curry, butter, sun-dried goat meat, and pemmican. 
... and it went on like that! It even had the Alberta Fish & Game letterhead on it! Well! Harumpfffff! Obviously, I thought, the best thing to do would be to post it on the employee bulletin boards round the building! So - I made some copies and covertly posted them up when the coast was clear.

Later that afternoon the chit hit the fan! The wogs went stark raving NUTS. They made copies and made sure the other wogs and wanks had them too. Our manager (who was a complete prick) was getting roasted over the coals! The packies accused the chinks. The chinks accused the arabs. EVERYBODY was pointing the finger at everybody else! Even back then, the political racial climate had gone from the ridiculous to the sublime. Somebody had to be punished!!!! Feelings had gotten hurt!!!! Who was responsible for this hatey-hate-hatred?!?!?

I got busted, everyone knew it was me but nobody could prove it. I think what gave me away was that I was the only one laughing while everyone else was losing their minds. A year later I was dismissed without cause from that sweat shop "because I wasn't fitting in with the staff...". I think they did me a favour because a couple months after that things started to get violent. They accidently hired a sikh and the rest of the pakies were hindus - and one of 'em went at another with a power drill. The white guys were getting tires slashed and their vehicles vandalized. A year later, the manager that fired me - was fired himself. There is such thing as a toxic work environment, and the proggies and social justice warriors know how to create it.

I was about 20 years old when I did that, maybe 21. Would I be so stupid as to do something like that again? 

Well - given the same people and the same horrible work environment - in a fuggin heartbeat! HAR HAR HAR!!! Contary to many, age does not instill wisdom.


  1. Lucky you got out when you did. The place sounds nuts - I had to look up 9 iron, but anyway...

    One guy goes after another with a power drill? Are you serious? And management wonders why we want to pack our gat to work with us.

    I worked for a trucking company that had a toxic manager in the dispatch department. Quality workers quit left and right, and the ones that were left were real tools. Eventually he got demoted to a menial position, and a group of ex-employees got wind of it and sent him a sympathy card.

    He used to say, "I am untouchable," thinking he was above everyone else. After he was demoted, some nameless individual kept sending faxes and other correspondence to him with one word on a page: Touchable. It drove him nuts.

    1. Over the years I have come to sympathize with managers. In a toxic, politically correct environment their job is impossible. I think trying to function in a role like that takes a toll on people and they crack up under the strain.
      I won't touch management work with a ten foot pole. Not in today's political climate.

  2. i don't recognize half your slang, but i am old.

  3. They are borderline racial slurs for the most part Deb - but some have slipped into the mainstream. You can't call a chinaman a chink in Canada because that is hatey. So the wanks like Yours Truly invented derogatory terms that drove the lefties and speech police absolutely nuts! Orientals are commonly addressed as 9 Irons, Bucket Heads, Clippers, etc. Drunken natives and First Nation freeloaders are referred to as 'chugs'. "Wogs" is an old one, one that we innocently explain as an acronym when the social justice warriors flip out: it stands for Western Oriental Gentlemen...honest!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!

  4. i remember the drunk natives when we lived in winnipeg.
    used car lot next door. always a mestizo trying the doors of the cars for a place to sleep it off.
    have some interesting stories about drunken whores in a different neighborhood.