Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 27 October 2017


I am so hopping mad, I could fry eggs from 5 feet away!!! Sunny tells me some wank has moved in on my turf!


Did you see that?!? Quartermain was behind the bar flipping bottles and glasses and impressing the bubble gummers. BW was chatting up the ladies and WL was drinking something that cost at least $3.00!!! What the hell is wrong with you a-holes??? Are the brass spittoons here at Filthie's Speakeasy not good enough for ya? Are you too good to drink out of a jerry can???


It's hard to compete when they have drinking fountains in the toilets over there, and I have a clientele that includes dirty old creeps like Pete, Jack, George Bush and Harvey Weinstein. Has anybody seen Harv? The crack whores are asking about him....

I remember my glory days, when Filthie's Speakeasy was actually a honky-tonk. We had the best talent, the prettiest girls and the coolest guys for customers and were famous around these parts.

There's nothing for it. Sunny - round up the boys. I think we need to go drop in on Filthy's and lay down some law on those little pikers!!! There's nothing wrong with those guys we can't fix - with our fists!!!

This shouldn't take long folks!


  1. The joint is in Vero Beach, FL. I've been to Vero Beach. I didn't stay.

    Filthie's cocktails and beer features microwave pizza, 'domestic beer' Bud-BudLight-Mick-MickLight-MickUltra-Miller-MillerLight-Busch-BuschLight and Pabst Blue Ribbon in cans. They also offer an all-you-can-drink wine night. Just let that last one sink in for a moment, and imagine your wine choices are between Thunderbird, Mad Dog 20/20, and Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. They'll rename this poison to Red, White, and Rosé, then let the Old Lady drink herself silly on this crap and wake up with a three day hangover that you'll have to live with.

    They also feature four house specialty cocktails that no one in their right mind would ever consider trying. I think one of these is purple.

    For the livelier patron, the bar features a dance floor, and invites you to grab a slice of pizza and hit the floor. Enjoy yourself! If some drunken clown actually takes pizza on to the floor (and if it's advertised, some dim bulb will do it), it's only a matter of time before he decorates someone else with his slice of pizza, and the cultural high point of the evening will begin.

    You go if you want. Me, I'm not going.

  2. Sounds like a real rip snorting place.

    1. Filthy's has corrupted two Florida Mounties (I thought I would change the name to protect the indecent).

  3. the cultural high point of the evening will begin.